Dump the Crappy Things an Ex-Friend Gives You
And, I go straight from saying “good morning” to everyone I see in rabid self-improvement mode to purging an object that causes a bad memory for me every time I open my purse. When a former friend does nothing but suck the life out of you and talk about herself non-stop in every encounter and e-mail, though, there’s nothing wrong with getting rid of that cilantro and anything that reminds you of it, I say.
Several years ago, a former friend gave me the wallet on the left, the green one. It was almost identical to hers, but a different color. Dutifully, I loaded it up and put it in my purse. While it wasn’t what I would’ve chosen for myself, it was a decent wallet and a thoughtful gift.
The very next time I saw her, she ripped my purse out of my hands and proceeded to plunder through it to see whether or not I was using said wallet. Maybe I am thick, but I suppose I should’ve known what a dubious “friend” she was right then and there. Who actually does that anyway, especially when they’re an adult? What did she think I would do, re-gift it?
I used that wallet for close to five years, cursing every time things fell out of it because of its poor design, detesting how fat it was even though I actually put very little in it, and deploring its total lack of functionality in general. However, I kept using it in fear of her raping my purse again the very next time we were together.
Well, no more. She unfriended herself months ago, and her wallet was a sickly cilantriffic reminder of her every time I opened my pocketbook.
I am the proud new owner of the lovely black zipper Comme des Garcons wallet on the right. Just the right number of pockets and slots, plus a cool change purse and Tiffany blue leather on the inside. Take that, you crummy former friend and your even crappier wallet! (Somehow, I hope getting rid of things that cause bad feelings is a form of self-improvement, too.)
Not fair to keep it zipped up like that…the wallet, I mean. Show everyone the inside of the new wallet!
I’d have to empty it out, though…….
This is a reply from my friend Melissa Miller on Facebook that I just loved and had to repost here. Thank you, Melissa!! xo
Melissa Honatke Miller: Oh, Andra, I just adore you. First of all, what a beautiful new wallet you have, I am envious. Secondly, I love the new word “cilantriffic” I shall incorporate that into my vocabulary anon. Last (and most importantly), I also have been purging items from my life from a certain ex-friend as well who was so neurotic and self-obsessed and toxic it’s going to take years to get it all out of my system. Getting rid of the earthly representations is surely a good start. Good luck! ♥
This has made me laugh!! Can’t wait to see you!
Seems like it is cathartic for us girls to read that we’re not alone in our struggles with friendship. I’m looking forward to seeing you, too!! xo
Andra,
I am hurt that you got rid of that wallet I bought especially for you. I am even more wounded by your comments about me in your blog… just kidding.
I could not agree more with your blog.
Jon
Ha ha ha. While this is too small a town to put things like this out there, sometimes it just must be done.
Great Stuff Andra – I am such a fan of your blog. you always crack me up. rock on
Thank you. Largely, humor beats being mad any day.
And you just reminded me that I owe you a phone call. Coming now.
That is funny but I totally agree with you. If you and your friend no longer love and respect each other then it is time to cut the cord. Too many good friends around to hang on to a bad one. Usually they did a natural death so maybe this one will too!
Actually, this friendship was murdered, but she did me a favor.
Enjoyed your writing so much! I think we all keep things in our lives that we should just get rid of. Not necessarily because they made us mad, but because there is just so much that we can keep. I am really terrible about hanging on to things that someone has given me or that I have inherited.
Keep writing. I enjoy it. Phyllis
Yep, I’m guilty of hanging onto things for sentimental reasons, too. Michael and I have done one big purge this year, but it seems like we never can do enough, doesn’t it?
Thanks for your compliments. Writing this blog is fun.
Perfect example of clutter that needs to be purged! Good job!
I thought an organizational expert would approve.
Thanks for commenting! Hope you’re enjoying your summer.