I Need a Muzzle for Myself
Here’s an app idea for some enterprising programmer: an application that, when loaded into one’s smart phone, sends electrical shock waves into the owner to let her know that she needs to stop talking. Specifically, she needs to stop the oversharing verbal vomiting that she is doing when she should just say, “I love everything! Everything is GREAT!!!!!”
I NEED this application. In fact, I would load it onto every device I have. That I would be dead from electrocution within 24 hours is a given. Even when my brain is screaming that I need to change tack and stop talking, my mouth just seems to yak on and on and on and on and on and on.
Sigh.
In life, when there is a disconnect between where we are and where we want to be, how do we best build the bridge between the two? I mean, sometimes they have to exist in parallel, but it is never a good idea to sit with one’s heart where we want to be and shoot nuclear warheads at where we are, no matter how good it may feel at the time. Especially when where we are is reality, at least for now.
I talk too much.
At least when I write, I can look back over it and realize I’ve said too much. (And, you’re thinking, “Really? And you STILL put all this out here?”) But when I talk, there is no edit button, no means of slurping back what just popped out of my mouth unfiltered.
So, which one of you can build the app that will shock me when I talk too much? Come on. It’s really a good, sadomasochistic idea……….
Too Much is Just Enough: Knowing When to Shut Up
Soooooo…. you chat a bit, no biggie; we enjoy listening and if you happen to notice our eyes rolling back into our noggins, don’t think a thing of it.
Just kidding, while you’re talking we have time to gather our thoughts and compose a witty repartee.
Actually, I’ve never thought that you were too chatty, perhaps you’re tooooo reserved around moi?!
I’m just in awe of the Grand Poobah of Rotary every time I’m around you, Lou. I don’t know what to say.
I agree with Lou Mello. You do not talk too much, and when you do talk, I’ve learned lots from listening!
Melissa
Melissa, it means a lot to me that you would say that. Thank you.
You nearly lost me until the S&M comment at the end. Now I am interested!
So, you’re saying it is impossible to build this app shocking device? You’re not even interested in that?
Sure I am in for building it. The testing should be fun. You can be the first test subject. Muwaaaahaaaaaaa…..
Ow. That hurt.
Your blog is such a daily inspiration. Keep that muzzle off!
I do much better muzzling my fingers. It’s in person that I have this problem.
What we say is so important. The Bible says that even a fool can be considered wise if he doesn’t open his mouth. Well, I know what it’s like to open my mouth and reveal all I know that would have been better kept hidden. The tongue is a hard member of the body to tame but it can be done.
Well, I’m sure I’m a fool a lot.
On no occasion have I ever thought you were too talkative. Besides, if you are too talkative, that means that I’m way too talkative.
Chat on!
We need to plan a meet up at this place. Would make us all super happy. http://chatnchewnewyorkcity.com/
That place does look delightful, and I never pass up a chance to go to NYC.
Amen Ms. Watkins(s)
The best measure of someone’s intelligence is the speed with which they reveal their stupidity.
“Be humble, fool!” are the words I scream at myself in my head to make me listen more and talk less.
This is my improvement area as well Andrea, as I think I confessed here before – Work in progress I am and lethargic this is.
I never think you talk too much when I see you (probably because I’ve been yakking your ear off.)
Did I say lethargic? – strike that, Cathartic – I am waking up slowly this morning…
I’m still not awake.
My strategy: Bill… Listen, don’t talk… Bill… Listen, don’t talk… Bill… Listen, don’t talk…
As y’all may have noticed, my strategy doesn’t always work.
and no, you don’t talk too much Andra.
What’s funny is that I always enjoy it when you talk, Bill.
There is Talking Too Much, and then there is Saying Too Much….which one are you worried about?
Okay, I SAY too much. I give too much away. I am too honest about things and too blunt and unable to hide things that need to stay hidden.
There.
So when you were in grade school did you get those conduct marks that said, Andra is a very bright student but she talks too much? I did too. I like MTM’s comment about talking too much or saying too much. There’s a big difference. If you’re spilling state secrets, the CIA will never hire you!
It’s funny, Jill, because I never talked in elementary school. I hardly ever made a peep. Then, I hit junior high/puberty and talked all the time, and pretty much never stopped from there.
I would agree with MTM in that there is a difference between being super chatty vs revealing things that are best left in the corridors of your mind. I once had someone tell me that when it comes to relationships that I get too intense too quick. I guess that means that I dig past the superficial and try to get to who the person really is, and that makes folks uncomfortable. With that in mind, I have learned how to embrace the superficial when I meet people the first couple of times and allow them to set the pace for how deep the relationship goes.
The deepness of the relationship and how much that is shared takes mutual respect and confidentiality above all things. If the respect or confidentiality is not there then someone will ultimately get hurt. I guess that is the problem with letting people get too close. The closer they get the more they learn the “real” person under the facade. Some of us have a thicker facade than others and I think that is probably because we have been hurt by those that were close to us at one time. Oh hold on, I think I am taking this off course. LOL… Anyway, you have a wonderful personality Andra and I enjoy listening to you chat both online and offline. Take care
Oh yes. This is me, too. I always think sharing deeper things about myself will cause me to make a better connection with another person. Usually, that isn’t the case. Now, in networking situations at any rate, I just deflect questions about myself and ask something about the other person. They’re more than happy to talk about themselves, and move on thinking I’m such a great networker.
That happened to me the other night. Someone asked me where I was jetting off to next. You know, just saying it like that implies sarcasm or jealously or whatever. Then, the person brought up how much I was blogging and pointed out how they get paid to write and I don’t. (Okay, they didn’t say it like that, but that’s how I took it.) And, I’m standing there thinking if you actually read my blog posts instead of snarking at me, you might know when I go places.
Oops, there I go again. Saying too much!!! Sigh.
Boy, is this me. I have more and less chatty times, but I frequently reveal much more than I want to. More vexing is when I am saying something and I realize I am not expressing what I want to, so I try to explain my way through it and end up entirely obscuring my message.
I think I find that I overshare when I am trying to make a connection with someone, and don’t recognize at the time that maybe they don’t want to know, maybe they don’t care, maybe they don’t want to be my best friend too. Then I flog myself in hindsight.
Amber, I have never known you to be the way you describe above, but I’ve been happy to get to know you better. You have the funniest way of observing and parsing things, and I enjoy you very much.
Oh, Andra, how I can relate. I sometimes think I talk too much. It usually happens when I am really excited and/or nervous. And I also talk fast. Not a good combination.
I love MTM’s point. Guilty as charged on both counts. I’ve gotten a lot better about saying too much as I’ve aged. I think….
I’m sure I’ve gotten better, too, but days like yesterday make me think I’m regressing instead of growing.
For everyone subscribed to comments, please congratulate Mr. Lou Mello, our 2013- 2014 Rotary 7770 District Governor Nominee. It is a huge, massive, big deal for him to be selected for this position, and no one I know deserves it more than he does.
Congratulations, Lou. I’m really honored that you read my blog and to know you and Teresa.
Now, I will go back to teasing you relentlessly for as long as I can.
You were teasing me??? Oh my, I guess I never should have wrote those things on the wall in City hall…maybe Master MTM will be able to get them erased.
We’re not worthy, Mr. Rotary! Now, if you are looking for a Rotary spokesperson for your future tenure, we might know someone who has voluminous speaking ability…
Sincerest Congratulations!
My plan during the 79 Club visits will be to mime a few thoughts (idea bubbles) and have Miss Chatty deliver the message as my Conversation/Friendship Chair. We’ll be like Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy.
I talk too much and I say too much. And I know what you mean about writing. You can go back and edit, and still speak the truth. You’ve heard me babble on and on, so I can relate to this post. I think out loud, a lot. When you get that app, pass it on to me.
Well, Carnell thinks he can develop it. When I electrocute myself to death, you can be the next tester.