Kiehl’s Called Me Old
On the heels of having a migraine for two straight days, I open the mail box to find a little present from Kiehl’s, makers of the face and eye cream I use every day. Even though my grandmother used original Oil of Olay for forty years and my Mom uses baby oil on her face, I am determined to blow hundreds of dollars a year on specialty creams and salves to stave off the effects of age.
And, this is how they treat me? Here, sucker. Use this packet of old lady cream for a more youthful, wrinkle-free appearance. Because, you know, you need to look younger and less riddled with lines and indentions.
Here’s a marketing idea for some savvy products company. Send me a packet of a potion called “You Look Like a Teenager.” Or, what about one called “Hotness Enhancing Serum for An Already Hot You.”
Somewhere in the fine print, it’s fine to rub it in that I need some extra help. I’m not going to bother with those details, anyway. But, I guaran-dang-tee you I will buy a big old vat of something that tells me I’m hot instead of old.
Too Much is Just Enough: Buttering Me Up