MTM and I did a really stupid thing in the timing of our marriage. Our wedding anniversary is June 14. Father’s Day always falls either right before or right after our anniversary, and my Mom’s birthday is June 18. So, it is a flurry of activity trying to celebrate all of these occasions without shortchanging anyone.
Last year, we didn’t celebrate any holy days, because I was on a Rotary Friendship Exchange during these collective events. I want to try to make up for it this year by doing something nice for my parents.
But what?
I asked my Mom what she wanted for her birthday, and her response was, “I haven’t even thought about my birthday.” Strike one for me. Asking Dad what he would like for Father’s Day is always an exercise in frustration. Either I give him money for him to say “That’s all you could give me?” (he always laughs while saying this; I am not trying to make him sound like an ogre.) Or, I have to go to the mall and pick out the ugliest shirt and tie combo I can find. The more hideous it is, the more he will like it. Strikes two and three for me, because I just do not have it in me to go through those options this year.
I want to come up with something different, a joint gift they can use to celebrate themselves, their union and each other. And, it has to fit within the parameters of what they will both enjoy, so before you fire ideas my way, allow me to fill in some additional color.
- My Father’s favorite restaurant was Shoney’s until it closed. My Mother is more adventurous.
- My Dad really isn’t into the arts, and unless it’s really loud, he can’t hear it. My Mom likes the arts but is selective.
- My Dad loathes the beach, cannot swim and does not understand why I want to live in a place surrounded by water, especially with no television. My Mom loves the beach, but she will never get my Dad to visit it with her.
- They both say they like the mountains.
- They both like church outings, but I do not know how to give them a gift certificate for something they can do for free.
- My Mom has an iPod touch. She is cool and hip. My Dad doesn’t know how to turn on a computer, and he surely doesn’t know what an iPod is.
- My Dad goes to Starbucks every single day of the year to drink coffee with his Old Man Crew. My Mom makes coffee at home and at work.
- My Mom loves jewelry, but I already did that for Mother’s Day this year. My Dad doesn’t like personal ornamentation of any kind, unless it is his University of Georgia ring, his watch or his Brut 33.
- My Mom likes flowers. My Dad likes to go in his building in the backyard and putter and says flowers irritate his sinuses.
So, Dear Reader, I ask you: what joint gift can I give my parents for Father’s Day/Birthday this year that will make them feel feted? One of you just might come up with the winner that will make my Mom, who reads my blog, come on here and scream “Yes! Yes! Yes!” in the comments.
And, that would make me very happy.
Too Much is Just Enough: Trying to Be Good to Your Parents
OK, totally stumped, but, here are a couple of thoughts.
Customized M&M’s http://www.mymms.com/utility.aspx?src=
Or some strange twists on traditional gifts: http://www.mymms.com/utility.aspx?src=
My Dad would like M&M’s Lou. Mom probably would, too. If I could get Uga faces on them, Dad would hurl them at everyone, laughing all the while. Thank you for this suggestion.
Trip to Asheville? Gatlinburg?
They went to Gatlinburg for their honeymoon. Hmmmmmm.
Hmmmm, not sure this is even worth putting out here..but…have you thought about putting pictures on a DVD with music? Pictures of the family? Pictures of them and of your growing years? Or, do they have one of those picture frames that scroll through pictures? You could put your pictures on there. Just a thought.
My Mom always told us: The best gift you can give me is TO GET ALONG FOR A DAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Ha Ha Ha. Now? My Mom just says for us to be happy is the greatest gift of all.
I like.
If giving you this gift were solely up to me, Mom, I would do it in a heartbeat.
We gave them a powerpoint presentation for their anniversary one year. It was all photos from their life together. That’s how I have some of the older photos I use on the blog.
I know Mom LIKES your other comment about getting along for a day.
Montreat, north of Asheville. It’s a religious retreat. Billy Graham lives there. It is beautiful.
Ah. Good idea. I will explore that option, too. Thank you, Janet.
The most appreciated gift I ever gave my parents was a contribution in their honor to their church. If there is a particular building or choir fund they would like to support, or a special honorarium you would like to create for them, it sounds like they would like that. Just a thought.
Jill, that is a good thought in addition to any gift we give them. Thank you.
It won’t make them feel “feted” but I tell everyone to buy their parents a shingles shot. Ha! You have to be over 60 to get them and many insurances won’t cover it. It’s a bit pricey but the percentage of people who get shingles in later life is so high it actually makes sense. It is waaaay to practical, I know!
Oh my. Think of the crazy blog post I could write. “I Took My Parents to Get Shingles Shots.” I LOVE IT!! I LOVE IT!! Thank you, Joan.
bacon of the month club from ted’s butcherblock?
That is a gift I just need to give myself, Eugene.
Interesting that Asheville is popping up in some of our minds… Thought it before I saw it posted.
Lisa, if only we had something on our dirt, we could give them that all the time. It isn’t far from there. Somehow, I do not think my parents would appreciate a camping trip…….
Dear Andra, your parents ARE different, but they have someone in common.. YOU! Give them yourself! LISTEN to them talking. Visit their workplaces.(Yes. Even the funeral home!) Drink coffee with the Old Men Group. If you REALLY wanna do your dad proud, go to his little kids Sunday School class! Then sit with me in church service and see your parents singing in choir. Afterwards, take them to Redbone Alley for Sunday dinner at 11:30 a.m.!! I lost my dad when he was 59 and I was 19, the summer after my freshman year at USC. I was working at SC Crippled Children’s Camp that summer and told him I was “too busy” to drive home for the weekend of Father’s Day. He died suddenly a few days after Father’s Day, and boy did I wish I had done things differently!!! So IF I still had my parents, I would hug them and hug them, and listen and listen, and BE with them, and complement them, and smile and thank them and thank them, and thank God for them:)
Time is always a good gift. Thank you.
I like again.
I think you should get a gift certificate to either Lowes or Home Depot for your father. Men always needs stuff from there.
And your mother would like one of the many lovely bowls from Furniture by Yaakov. Useful, unique, and homemade.
Be well,
yaakov….
Yaakov, my Father has every tool known to man. He likes to woodwork, also, and furniture refinishing is his specialty.
As for my Mom, your suggestion made me laugh out loud. Bravo to you for suggesting such a unique gift. I will head on over and peruse.
A portrait session for them and their closest family including their choice of the photos framed. We did that and they were very happy, in fact both my sister and I also got framed photos from it and my Mum decided to get the one of my sister and I together as well.
I think that could be a really interesting gift. Hmmmmmmmm. I will ponder, and if we do this, I will definitely post photos. Thank you.
Hmm. Do they like to spend time together and are they busy-bodies or more low-key?
One thought – a Netflix subscription – they can watch movies together, your Mom can watch some artsy films on her iPod Touch (Netflix app). My mom super duper loves her Netflix and then we can always talk about movies.
Also, airlines have gift certificates – they can choose when and where to go!
One year for Father’s Day I tracked down my great-grandfather’s 1911 pro baseball card and had a friend make a custom floating frame and gave it to my Dad. He cried.
I haven’t been able to top that one.
Hope you find something they’ll both love!
Mom can correct me if I’m wrong. I think they like the idea of spending time together, but they definitely have separate interests. Mom definitely likes to watch movies more than Dad does. Dad really likes to watch sports, news and The Bill Gaither music people. If Mom could watch movies on her iPod, she might like putting the headphones in her ears and zoning out of all that.
I have already mentioned a trip for Thanksgiving, but so far, they have not expressed interest in it. If we did that trip, all the gifts for the whole year would have to be rolled together. Taking my Dad back to Germany would be something I would love, love, love to do.
And, why haven’t you ever mentioned your great-granddad played pro baseball? For whom did he play? I would love to hear more about that sometime.
Thanks for all these suggestions, Sandra. xo
He played for the Reds and the Cubs before he died young of appendicitis. Too bad, for several reasons of course.
http://www.baseball-almanac.com/deaths/jim_doyle_obituary.shtml
That is really cool, Sandra. Thank you for sharing the link.
Gaither concert tickets for them to enjoy together at a later date.
http://www.gaither.com/
Come home for Sat. night and take your Mom to a dining place of her choice. Go to church with them on Sunday morning. And then take your Dad to Shoneys on Sunday after church…there is still one on Hwy 52 near I95.
They would both love Gaither tix. That is the truth. Thank you, Amber.
So……what did you do????? Just curious and doing my best to avoid unpacking and cleaning at this moment. Thought I would catch up and read your postings that I haven’t been able to read for awhile.
I got your other message, so I know you saw. I think they liked it.
Nevermind :0) Finally caught up with your postings and saw it there.