A Looney Beep Beep
This is the fourth post in this week’s series, Grounded: Stories From the American Southwest. If this is your first visit to Grounded, click here to start the series. If you’d like to subscribe to my blog, subscription boxes are on the right-hand side of the page. If you like me enough to Like me on Facebook, simply click Like in the Facebook box on the right. As always, thank you for reading my little blog.
Dynamite. It’s gotta be around here somewhere, that big ACME stash I squirreled away in some hole or other. Trouble is, the immensity of this blasted canyon gets to me. I don’t know if I left the stuff down by the river someplace or closer to the rim. That confounded MTM, he zips around so fast I can’t possibly keep up with all my supplies for blowing him to smithereens. Him and his chirpy ‘beep-beep!’
Yesterday, I spotted him on the Grandview Trail, out by Horseshoe Mesa. Kicking up dust all over the place. From the looks of his patterns, he must be exploring the caves down there. Maybe he’ll fall into an old mine shaft. Old Grandview is riddled with ‘em. Ha! Wouldn’t that be a mighty fine way to get rid of him once and forever?
Speaking of mine shafts………….I know I left a stash of dynamite in one of them out by Horseshoe. Dang the rim of this creation. It’s too far away from everything. Fine for seeing, but not for making mayhem and wreaking destruction on the personification of my life’s annoyance.
There. He’s in a cave. A big one. He’ll be in there a while. Now’s my chance to slip down the trail without detection.
Bangbangcrashscrapescratchboomslidepowowowowowowow………
OwowowowowAnd I slid over the side of the trail. Hanging on. HANGING ON. One foot here. A toe hold there. And, I’m up. I always forget about the loose gravel up here. Feels like ice skating, only my legs maintain a blur of motion to keep from falling. No wonder I’m pooped by the time I catch up with my MTM prey.
Middle of the trail is better for me. Geology is different, more solid underfoot. I can make good time hereBLASTBLASTBLASTBLAST…….Beep-Beep!
Arrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhh! There he goes, flying UP the trail, and I’m hanging from the side again. I don’t think that pathetic cactus is going to hold me much longer. Leaning. Leaning. Teariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPLAT.
Peeling pieces of myself up from the canyon floor, I seem to be okay. Bruised, about a hundred cactus spines in my hands – YEEEEEE-OUCH – but I made it. And, lookey there. I’m right next to that mine shaft, the one with my big ole dynamite stash.
Rootrootrootrootroot.
Ah. Nothing feels better in the hands than an explosive device.
Now, where will I wait? Scanscanscanscanscan. That big rock, right next to the trail. An infallible perch for dropping lit sticks of dynamite on unsuspecting MTM. All I have to do is sit here………………blast it, the sun sure is hot. Feels like I’m baking to the top of the rock. I might stick if anyone tried to scrape me off. No shade…………getting sleepy……………must………….
Beep! Beep!
BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Staggerstaggerstagger. This – hiccup – has to be a dream. HAS TO BE. How did MTM get the – hiccup - dynamite away from me? WHERE did he – hiccup - come from?
Cue Looney Tunes music. I’m done over here.
Love me some Wile e Coyote and Roadrunner…
The Coyote personifies how I felt when writing, though this one came at MTM’s request. He loves them, too. I think it is a Three Stooges thing.
just had a vision of MTM, Carnell and I as the modern Three Stooges…you pick who is who.
Oh my. Was that a vision, a dream or a nightmare?
Lou’s vision is an hallucination…I wouldn’t be caught in the crossfire of the Dynamic Duo of Lou “The Buckeye” and Carnell “The Conductor.”
http://andrawatkins.com/2011/10/25/day-break/
Hallucination is a good word for all of this series.
Too funny! I used to love The Road Runner and Coyote. I agreed with the coyote that the road runner was highly annoying. Needed to call in the nuclear option.
Just remember to order your supplies from Acme!
I am glad this one satisfies the funny bone. MTM laughed from the beginning. I think it is a guy thing.
Nope, Andra, it’s NOT just a “guy thing” . . .
Months ago, someone in my FB acquaintance instructed to ‘post your favorite cartoon character as your profile photo’ for some specified period of time, in honor of something or other. Straight from my profile pics, I kid you not: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1488957827546&set=a.1385426599330.2050172.1341961177&type=3&theater I have ALWAYS loved poor Wile…..
Ha! That’s great, Karen.
Chiming in…I love Loony Tunes, especially the Wiley Coyote and Road Runner.
I loved most of them, but my mind wandered at the Road Runner and Coyote. I don’t know why. I get it more today than I did when I was little.
fun post BTW!
Thanks.
Ha – S-P-L-A-T! I could absolutely visualize him pulling himself off of the ground, piece by piece. Too funny.
Experimental writing. Glad it worked.
Kate, sometimes I feel this way about him on hikes. Not wanting to blow him up, but he can certainly leave me in the dust on a downhill.
I hope Felix doesn’t need the dynamite for his room.
Catching up on this week’s posts, finally. Coyote and RoadRunner was always my favorite cartoon of them all – I always cheered for Wile E. Coyote. I think it’s the eternal hope that appeals to me. My favorite scenarios were the ones that involved Coyote dangling off the edge of a cliff, when all of a sudden a crack develops 5 feet back from the edge, the protruberabce breaks off and down he plummets and drills into the ground – THUMPThumpThumpthumpthump. Damn you gravity! At least the rest of physics doesn’t normally apply.
I was always amazed that he could make big holes in the ground and crawl out of them, still alive. I, too, pulled for him.