A Looney Beep Beep
This is the fourth post in this week’s series, Grounded: Stories From the American Southwest. If this is your first visit to Grounded, click here to start the series. If you’d like to subscribe to my blog, subscription boxes are on the right-hand side of the page. If you like me enough to Like me on Facebook, simply click Like in the Facebook box on the right. As always, thank you for reading my little blog.
Dynamite. It’s gotta be around here somewhere, that big ACME stash I squirreled away in some hole or other. Trouble is, the immensity of this blasted canyon gets to me. I don’t know if I left the stuff down by the river someplace or closer to the rim. That confounded MTM, he zips around so fast I can’t possibly keep up with all my supplies for blowing him to smithereens. Him and his chirpy ‘beep-beep!’
Yesterday, I spotted him on the Grandview Trail, out by Horseshoe Mesa. Kicking up dust all over the place. From the looks of his patterns, he must be exploring the caves down there. Maybe he’ll fall into an old mine shaft. Old Grandview is riddled with ‘em. Ha! Wouldn’t that be a mighty fine way to get rid of him once and forever?
Speaking of mine shafts………….I know I left a stash of dynamite in one of them out by Horseshoe. Dang the rim of this creation. It’s too far away from everything. Fine for seeing, but not for making mayhem and wreaking destruction on the personification of my life’s annoyance.
There. He’s in a cave. A big one. He’ll be in there a while. Now’s my chance to slip down the trail without detection.
OwowowowowAnd I slid over the side of the trail. Hanging on. HANGING ON. One foot here. A toe hold there. And, I’m up. I always forget about the loose gravel up here. Feels like ice skating, only my legs maintain a blur of motion to keep from falling. No wonder I’m pooped by the time I catch up with my MTM prey.
Middle of the trail is better for me. Geology is different, more solid underfoot. I can make good time hereBLASTBLASTBLASTBLAST…….Beep-Beep!
Arrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhh! There he goes, flying UP the trail, and I’m hanging from the side again. I don’t think that pathetic cactus is going to hold me much longer. Leaning. Leaning. Teariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg.
Peeling pieces of myself up from the canyon floor, I seem to be okay. Bruised, about a hundred cactus spines in my hands – YEEEEEE-OUCH – but I made it. And, lookey there. I’m right next to that mine shaft, the one with my big ole dynamite stash.
Ah. Nothing feels better in the hands than an explosive device.
Now, where will I wait? Scanscanscanscanscan. That big rock, right next to the trail. An infallible perch for dropping lit sticks of dynamite on unsuspecting MTM. All I have to do is sit here………………blast it, the sun sure is hot. Feels like I’m baking to the top of the rock. I might stick if anyone tried to scrape me off. No shade…………getting sleepy……………must………….
Staggerstaggerstagger. This – hiccup – has to be a dream. HAS TO BE. How did MTM get the – hiccup - dynamite away from me? WHERE did he – hiccup - come from?
Cue Looney Tunes music. I’m done over here.