How To Give The Help
A couple of nights ago, I finished the book The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. It was science. It was highly involved. And, it was one of the most intrinsically human books I’ve ever encountered. I never expected a book about the largest set of human cells growing in culture, cells that were removed from an African-American woman’s cervix without her knowledge or informed consent, to move me to tears.
Of course, the writer, Rebecca Skloot, defied expectation. She spent more than a decade of her life researching the book and interviewing the confusing web of Henrietta’s family. Another couple of years went into rewriting, editing, fact-checking and editing some more. Three agents walked away from her before her book found a home with a champion agent and publisher. It’s won awards, and it deserves its listing on more than sixty critic recaps as one of the best books of 2010. I don’t just recommend it. You MUST read it. Click here to buy a copy.
I spent more time poring through the acknowledgements. Being a year into my own journey to get my novel published, it boggled my mind that a writer could spend more than a decade of her life championing one story. Numerous people probably looked at her like she was crazy as she continued to run up credit card debt and take out student loans to follow her dream into the forgotten tobacco fields of Virginia and the rundown slums of Baltimore. Her passion for Henrietta’s story probably drove scores of people screaming from her life, much as thoughtless “helpful” comments likely destroyed her own feeling for people she once considered friends.
What struck me was the village of people who helped her realize her dream. If I could ask her one question – JUST ONE – it would not be will you lead me to your agent? or would you read a few pages of my novel and send them along to someone – ANYONE – in the literary field? It would be HOW did you bewitch people to help you?
I suck at asking for help.
Before I ask for yours, Dear Reader, allow me to give you a little book update.
I completed one round of submitting my finished book to agents. Two have yet to reject me, though I have learned that doesn’t mean anything positive. I got numerous rejections indicating that I can actually write or encouraging me in some way, leading me to believe something was intrinsically wrong with the book. Before Christmas, I gave the book to a former editor at Random House and an accomplished author in her own right, hoping something in the story would brainwash her to want to edit it.
She enthusiastically took my project. I’m going to have a lot of writing to do in the coming months, and I’m very excited about what working with someone of her caliber will do for the story. I hope to have it ready to resubmit by mid-2012.
If you enjoy my writing, spend time on this blog, or are a person who believes helping others is the greatest means of paying it forward, please help me reach my goal. I cannot count the number of people who have told me they know published authors. Published authors are the most direct means to an agent. If you know one and are willing to help me meet him or her, please contact me privately so that I can start the process of convincing them to read a selection from my book when it is complete or endorsing it up the chain.
Likewise, being able to drop a known name in the literary field helps with an agent query. I know lots of people who say they know literary types, but actually securing the right to drop the name is what will help me. It opened several key doors for me in the last round.
Yes, I realize I can self-publish an e-book, publish overseas, or print copies of the book myself and accost people with it and be a ‘published author.’ I self-publish every single day. I know how hard I work at it, between the writing, the facilitation of community and the self-promotion that’s required. We both know what you pay to read it. Now, we all know what I make. At this point, I still believe in my story enough to want someone to say my company will invest in this novel.
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If you are feeling really magnanimous, I have one fail-proof method of asking for additional Facebook ‘Likes’ that will take about 30 minutes of your time. Indicate your interest in a comment, and I will message you privately with the particulars. And, if you have your own author or blog page and I read you, I will be happy to return the favor for you.
Getting this book published is the only thing I professionally care about for 2012. It’s a story that will shine a light on others more than it will ever benefit me. If you help me, I will never, ever forget. If you’ve spent any time on this blog, you know I have many other stories to tell.
Thank you for breathing life into the words I write.






OK, just let me know what you would like me to do and I’ll be happy to do it. I don’t personally know any authors other than Ken Burger and if you want me to check with him, I’ll do so. I know he was published by the Post & Courier group.
OK, if all else fails, we can take turns pumping it out on this.
https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT2LJmWHfsX1et99lCq9l-Cl_T9NUCNGODc5BmVu1vq5Z34nkcJ
Good morning Lou – fellow early bird….
Hi Liz, you go, girl!!
Ha. Ha.
Lou, you know so many people and meet new ones all the time. If you ever meet a published author, just keep my book and a way to get it into his or her hands in mind. Also, I have always wanted to meet Ken Burger.
Ask him to speak at your Club, he is always willing to talk to Rotary Clubs.
email is ken@kenburger.com and I have his cell if you need it.
Andra, I am so inspired by this post. Asking for help can be tough – and you’ve done so in a most sincere and authentic manner here. I have a couple of Facebook friends/acquaintances with whom I communicate regularly and have built a good rapport who have published books, although not novels. Would you like me to reach out to them on your behalf? I feel certain I know others who are authors – given the depth and breadth of my contacts – it’s simply a matter of their names percolating to the surface! So let me get back to you on that part as well. XO
Liz, any connection can lead to something. I would be grateful for any possible leads. I hope posts like this also click in people’s minds as they meet new folks and discover a few authors or literary types.
Good afternoon! As promised, I have made one such connection today on your behalf, and will let you know what I learn. I have also referred her to your blog – she may reach out to you there. I’ll be back in touch on this. Happy New Year, Andra!
I’ll look forward to hearing from her. Thank you, Liz!!!
I so need to read The Immoral Life of Henrietta Lacks, and I’ve had it on my Nook for awhile. I’ve hesitated, honestly, because I know it will make me mad. I know it’s an excellent book, and I need to get over it.
I wish I knew an author or a literary agent to recommend, but I’ll do my best being a fan.
It made me mad, Vera. It made me feel a lot of different emotions. Let me know what you think of it when you’re done.
Thank you for being a fan.
I wish I knew an agent to recommend. I want to be helpful, I wish you all the luck in the world with this and I hope someone has a connection for you.
You run in some of these circles, Heather. You never know when you might meet someone who could help me, and I know you will if you are ever in the position to.
Andra, it’s so inspiring to see you breathe new life into this dream/goal/labor of love or however we choose to label it. This is how great books get published.
Angie, aren’t you working on a book as well?
Hey Liz, yes. My book is complete and I’m in the beginning stages of seeking a literary agent.
It does seem that the greatest and/or most commercially successful books have back stories that are horrors. I wish I could ask a couple of those people how they coped with the people who walked up to them and announced that they knew X published author and then refused to provide any means to meet them. Or the ones who offer “advice” like “just go ahead and start your next book, because this one won’t go anywhere.” Or the ones who drag out meandering stories about published authors they know without offering any means of endorsing my project to them. Or the writers who basically want to use me as the dumping ground for their own frustrated effort. It isn’t the professional rejection that gets to me, because I know it will happen eventually if I do not give up. It is the interpersonal dealings that leave me flummoxed.
You know how I went through a big self help phase and have lots of books on my shelf to prove it. That sentence to preface this part: I love Jack Canfield’s book The Success Principals. One of the chapters is about dropping out of the “Ain’t it Awful Club” and surrounding ourselves with people who lift us up rather than drag us down. (I’m mainly responding to writers who want to use you as a dumping ground). Remember our talks about mazes? Who knows the way out? I just keep looking for light.
What’s harder for me are two things:
1. I cannot do anything about people who come up to me in public settings and say completely awful, unhelpful things. Eventually, I can extricate myself from that conversation. But, from my own experiences with ridiculous Southern women who want to tell me how selfish I am over cocktails because I’m not having children after they’ve known me for all of five minutes, I still know it isn’t considered acceptable to tell them how utterly, completely rude they are (though I have done it a couple of times and heard the B-word floating in the air as I walked away.) No, I always have to stand there for some decent period of time (which is growing shorter as I age) before I can move on.
2. I don’t know what to do about my hurt and disappointment in people I thought would help me who have not, regardless of my asking. MTM tells me I expect too much from friendship, and I’m sure that’s true. But, it isn’t easy to just walk away from people when one cares about them, even though we know we should.
I wish real life could be as black-and-white as self-help books always are. But, it isn’t. That doesn’t mean you’re not right or that I won’t keep moving toward the light.
I am sure The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks is great. I will have to pass though. Seems very much like it would be too disturbing for me. Plus I doubt there are many, if any, trains.
As for you and your book, all you have to do is give me marching orders and I will march! I will stomp through fields of cilantro, I will scale high mountains of sushi, I will … oh, I don’t know, smoke a pipe while doing a book reading?
Scale high mountains of sushi? What a great visual! I’ll have to remember that one as we venture forth into the New Year, Michael.
Carnell, you have already convinced about 150 people to like my author page. You share links to my writing regularly. I know I can count on you, and I am grateful for your steadfast friendship. Scaling mounds of sushi is not necessary.
Say it isn’t so, Andra. Imagine the fun of watching Carnell scale high mountains of sushi. See what I mean??
Seeing Carnell barf, however, would not make anyone happy. I will spare him as long as he doesn’t give me his always-threatened bouquets of cilantro.
I have faith that your book will get published – I just wish I knew someone, anyone, who was a publisher, had an agent, etc., etc. I support you though – does that count? I will stand beside you and help you advertise and otherwise get your book in the loving arms of the general public. This will happen. I’ll keep my ear to the ground and ask my friends and family if they know of someone, anyone. My Aunt has had one book published and has submitted two others, so I have seen the struggle that is put into writing, and then submitting your loving gift. Hang in there.
Lori, you are a dearer friend to me than you will ever know. I don’t know how I got lucky enough to meet you, but I know you have my back.
I hope you feel better quickly and are not in too much pain.
As Liz already said, it is extremely difficult to ask for help — somehow we equate that with some measure of weakness, and God forbid we should reveal a vulnerability. So, the fact that you’ve gracefully made such a request is, to me, further evidence of your belief that what you have been nurturing in this novel is worthwhile and worthy.
I am subscribed, I have “liked” and, having previously sent you the only possible link to a publisher that I know about, there’s not much for me to add here in that vein. Like others though, I stand ready to assist in any additional way that I’m able (next week will be a bear, as I’m designated driver for a couple of siblings’ medical trips, but generally speaking I have few demands upon my time, so if you’ll PM the info for garnering additional FB likes, I’ll be happy to see whether I can assist with that).
Meantime, we will believe that 2012 will be the year you finally get to present this baby to a printer.
Karen, you have already done more than I could expect from anyone, and I appreciate every bit of it. I will message you privately with the FB thing.
A baby is right. I care about this every bit as much as any mother does about a child. Thank you for being my friend, Karen, and for reading this little blog.
Andra, I’ll go again through my mental contacts list and see what additional names I may stumble upon for this round.
From before you began this book I have stood by my proclamation, “You ought to be writing novels.” So ergo by extension, that means published, and I do mean by a legit publishing house.
Yesterday I investigated the e-books online at the library, and if some of what is called “NY Times Bestselling Author” *crap* and I do mean that, is publishable, and sellable, then you ought to be getting the Booker Prize. ( BTW, the Booker Prize folks is one of the highest prizes in literature…kinda like a Brit Pulitzer. http://www.themanbookerprize.com/
And I love how you took the right technique of “newsjacking” in the most positive, useful way for “The Help” and “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks”. Good job. More about newsjacking. http://charlestonpr.com/posts/newsjacking-getting-your-share-of-the-news/
You still have two possible connections I haven’t used. One, you approached for the last round, but I did not follow through because she did not get back to you and because her agency requires a release to submit a project. When I am done, this book will have been edited twice professionally by someone she knows, and I am happy to ride in the car with you to her house and knock on the door and shove the book into her hands myself. It will be ready to submit, and I firmly believe she will be willing to pass it to her agent. The other one you mentioned is a friend of a friend of yours, and we just have to figure out how to accomplish the same thing on that one. Even if I have to pay to take us to the mountains for a long weekend, which I happily will.
You got it! We’ll get it done!
Let’s hold a strategy session when you’re ready!
I will read the ‘Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks”. I had heard about it, but not made it to the actually picking it up stage. Thanks.
I guess my connection that I already sent and his recommendation comes under the “overseas” category. If I can think of anyone in the U.S., I will pass it on.
Nope. That rec is still a viable option for me at this point. I haven’t done anything with it because I have stopped submitting until the book is edited.
Andra, I used to wear a bikini and do cheerleading jumps while holding posters for a high school car wash. We always raised a lot of money (like fifty whole dollars) and I would like to think my flexibility and perkiness had a lot to do with our success. This being said, I am probably in no shape to show my belly button ( or jump for that matter) but I would love to put my championship marketing skills to work and get you published! Let me know how I can help (Facebook, toe touch, or otherwise)!
Tori, your comments, and your writing in general, always ALWAYS makes me smile. In light of your post yesterday, the images this conjures are even more hilarious.
http://torinelson.wordpress.com/2011/12/29/a-year-of-jiggly-laughing/
Thank you for this offer. I will contact you privately to explore. And, thank you for reading my blog in the first place. Yours has enriched my life.
Thanks for the update on your book. I would be glad to help in anyway I can. Send me a message and let me know what and how to do it. Also, I’m checking some information out on two local published authors. I’ll see what I can find out. Happy New Year and I hope 2012 will be the year of your book!
Debbie, thank you for always being so interested in this odious process. I should give you more updates than I do, but I always feel like I am whining, and I am not a whiner. If you find anything useful, I will, of course, be happy to put it into action.
Renee Fisher (Life in the Boomer Lane) has co-authored two published books:
http://lifeintheboomerlane.wordpress.com/
Kristen Lamb is a published author and shares terrific networking advice on her blog:
http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/
Renee is going to be on Anna Maria Island on January 24th for a book signing. I plan to meet her as she flags down traffic.
Does that coincide with your visit?
I don’t know any agents.
Nancy, I am not sure yet when we will visit. MTM’s family down there has an issue, and his plan to visit to get some work done for his mother has been impacted by it. I am guessing it will be more toward the spring, but I will keep you posted.
Thank you for links to these two wonderful blogs. I will spend time getting to know both of these ladies.
love your words…so happy you’ve got the writer’s gift and of course, you share your passion in your blog…
T.
Thank you T.
I have little to offer except my regard for your writing. But you have that, and if you can every think of a way I could help: let me know. I hope 2012 is the year for you.
Kate, you already share my writing so often with others, and that is more than enough. I am so glad I met you and Phil this year.
Andra, your post really got my blood pumping! I know you are in the dark morass of trying to find the publication light, but the fact that you are SOOO close (I just know it), is very exciting. I wish I knew a published author or two to help you (alas, I only know self-published authors). But I have subscribed to your blog and liked your Facebook page. I recently set up my own FB writer page, and I’ll put a special post on it about you and your amazing writing. I so want to see your book on bookstore shelves, and on my own, too! If I can do anything else, I’m your gal.
Elizabeth, please come back and post a link to your author page. I tried to find it on Facebook, but it did not come up. I will send you a friend request, because that might make it work.
I love your writing, and if I am ever in a position to help you on your own project as it develops, you now have it in writing that I will try.
Okay, here’s a link to Elizabeth’s Facebook Writer page.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Elizabeth-Yon/333884143288784
Anyone who is still around, please Like her.
Hey,thanks Andra!
I strongly believe that someone who is willing to put themselves out there and ask for help is going to succeed. It’s a matter of staying at it. I wish I had more to offer, but I’m not in that swim at all…however, I will get other friends to follow and “like”–numbers do add up! I enjoy your writing very much, Andra, and I believe in your dedication. It will pay off. Anything more I can do to ad strength to your numbers, just say it. I’m glad to do so. And I do agree with you about the Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. I read it also and stand amazed! So hold to your 2012 goals, Andra. I’m pulling for you! Debra
Debra, thank you. Yours is yet another blog enjoy very much. I’ve met so many fabulous people this year in the blogosphere. I hope your 2012 brings you everything you want.
I have to be all stupid and ask how Facebook “likes” help. Do they cause an agent to take you more seriously? If they help, tell me what I can do. You can see I have such a tiny network, but I guess every little net works.
Social media statistics are important to many agent types these days, Roxanne. One told me I needed 20,000 connections to impress anyone. (Of course, I don’t have anywhere close to that combining Facebook and Twitter.) So, I need to spend the next few months working to ramp them up. My editor wants to include them in my next query letter, and that means they can never be high enough. Every little Like helps.
I’ll email you the stealth FB campaign. I don’t want to put the particulars in public or on FB, for obvious reasons. It might help you with The Good Luck Duck, also, and I could do the same for you on my end.
Did you email me already? No hurry (I’ve forgotten how to hurry anyway); I just haven’t seen anything and I’m not ignoring you.
I could use help. My own real-life friends have mostly not liked my Facebook page. I even say, “please like my page!” and they “like” that comment and ignore my page. I say “please go to my page and “like” it,” and they like that comment, too, and ignore my page. I don’t have stupid friends, so perhaps this represents their mild rebellion and indifference.
I sent you an e-mail a few minutes ago.