It’s Political Poppycock
I was prepared to write a different post today. Mail delivery derailed me again. I opened my mailbox yesterday to find this inside:
Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen. It is a letter from one of my esteemed members of Congress, responding to my barrage of protests during the SOPA-and-PIPA Saga. I omit the name of this person who co-sponsored the PIPA legislation in the Senate.
I reproduce this person’s response below, with my commentary in red.
(Why are you using my first name? You’ve never met me. You had dinner with MTM once, but I didn’t attend.)
Thank you for contacting me regarding Internet privacy controls. As the Senate considers this issue, I will keep your comments in mind.
(What? You readily admit YOU’RE STILL CONSIDERING IT? Even after 13 million people protested this legislation?)
I recognize your interest in maintaining the security and privacy of your personal computer. (Huh? PIPA sponsorship = you don’t care about my interests.) I believe in individual privacy rights, and I have supported legislation in the past that would create a “Do Not Spam” registry and enhance financial privacy. (Wow. A Do Not Spam registry. I’m bowled over. Would that work the same way the National Do Not Call Registry DOESN’T?) I was also proud to support the imposition of stricter limitations and penalties on the transmission of unsolicited commercial email. (Newsflash: Do you know how many unsolicited emails I still get in a day?)
My job as your United States Senator is to represent your interests. (That may be true 1. IF I have money, which I do not, and 2. IF I give a portion of my non-existent money to you via your PAC or designated Super PAC.) I can guarantee you I will give your thoughts and opinions the consideration they deserve. (Hello? No money to you = my interests deserve no attention.) Hearing directly from you about the problems facing our nation helps me better serve constituents like you, and the people of South Carolina as a whole. I hope you will always feel free to pick up the phone, write, or email about this, or any other issue, that comes before the Senate. (Why bother when I get responses like this one???)
If you are online, I would also encourage you to visit my website – REDACTED – as it will have information on the most recent activities before the Senate. While there you can also sign up for our e-mail newsletter, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube pages which will provide the latest information, and my up-to-the-minute views on the major issues facing our nation. (Oh. My. God. You DID NOT just include an entire marketing spiel in this letter telling me how much you care about my interests, did you?)
Thank you again for taking time from your busy day to contact my office. I look forward to hearing from you again in the future and truly appreciate the opportunity to represent your interests in the United States Senate.