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The Mother of All Dreams

Dreams are shifty, shimmering beings. Absent when I sleep. Stalking me when my eyes are open. My imagination is my waking dream, a piece of me that can infiltrate a conversation and bring it to a halt, can capture my attention and fragment it, can sew unrelated things together, make them one.

It’s trite to say I have a dream.

Lots of mothers dream about their children before they meet them. Mothers throughout time snagged the lives of their offspring in the stardust of a comet. Knew who the butterballs of flesh and smiles would grow to become. Mapped the pattern of their lives in the chambers of their hearts. Blessed the ambitions and visions of their children when none of it turned out the way they dreamed.

Most of my close friends are mothers. I watch them juggle everything with half a hand, and I admire them more than I ever tell them. So much, in fact, that I promised myself I would send each of them a card this year for Mother’s Day.

Life had other dreams for me. I failed.

To the ladies in my life who are mothers: Happy Mother’s Day. You have listened with patience to my recounting of my singular dream more than was ever your calling. Even as it has grown and mutated, as people have laughed behind their hands at my zeal, you haven’t once discouraged me. In fact, several of you stepped up to read me the riot act when I wanted to quit.

Thank you for never giving up on me, for making time in your insane schedules for a lost soul like me. I couldn’t dream some of the friends I have for fear they are too good to be true, that I would wake up alone. Here’s to you, my Mother friends, as your families fete you today.

52 Comments Post a comment
  1. What a generous tribute to your friends, Andra. I’ll bet they’ve enjoyed your zeal, your writing, and have been pleased to enfold you as a friend. Warmly, Ellen

    May 13, 2012
    • Ellen, I hope that’s the case. Sometimes, I get carried away with my passion. :)

      May 13, 2012
  2. What a delightful, genuine piece :)

    May 13, 2012
  3. alice #

    Thanks Andra. I am in awe of your hard work and your zeal, and I am glad to share in the process of making your dream come true.

    May 13, 2012
    • I can’t wait for lunch tomorrow. I just found the photos of Cayleigh on FB last night. I hope she and Gordon are doing something awesome for you today.

      May 13, 2012
  4. Happy Mother’s Day to you… the mother of your dream. And a real mutha! ;)

    May 13, 2012
    • When the dang thing happens – and it WILL happen – it will be my baby. Being pregnant for two years and counting is…….interesting…….. :)

      Thank you for asking about this whole thing yesterday. It means so much to me that anybody cares.

      May 13, 2012
      • Of course I care. I plan on riding your coattails to riches and stardom.

        May 13, 2012
      • Ha. I saved a quote from Will Smith on my phone several months ago. I’m not a big Will Smith fan, but this quote spoke to me.

        “If you’re absent during my struggle, don’t expect to be present during my success.”

        This quote applies to nobody here, but I think you understand why it spoke to me.

        May 13, 2012
      • Excellent quote. Have you ever read Stephen King’s book on writing? A good section in there on how much the support of a spouse or other such person can mean to the eventual success or failure. Good stuff.

        May 13, 2012
      • Well, if spousal support means success, then I will be the biggest success in history. MTM has been unflagging in his willingness to listen, to push me, to talk about imaginary people and situations, to spend money, and to read.

        May 14, 2012
  5. That’s lovely. And I look forward to seeing your dream emerge!

    May 13, 2012
  6. Such a nice post for your Mom friends. I called mine this morning at 7:15 am to catch her before she ran off all day with her church duties. She teaches 11 and 12 year olds, OY!!

    May 13, 2012
  7. Thanks, Andra. Every Mother (and friend) knows to listen patiently–or at least try to–and to encourage the dreams of those they love. Every Mother (and most likely the Dad’s too) within your circle of friends wants only for you to realize that dream which will make you happiest, and believes that your talents and unflagging efforts will bring you to the realization of that dream.

    Besides, we reap untold benefits all the while we watch you mothering that dream. Happy Mother’s Day to you, too!

    May 13, 2012
    • I hope you and Kim have something fun planned for today, Karen. Baking bread, perhaps? ;)

      Happy Mother’s Day. Reconnecting with you has been one of the more recent blessings of my life. xo

      May 13, 2012
      • Ahh, maybe a Sunday drive if the rains hold off. We are “mothering” Lulu, (recovering from the Thursday surgery that nipped her mothering capabilities) and attempting to keep her quiet and sedate. Ha!! She is 7 lbs. of can’t-sit-still!

        We are awaiting delivery of the cast-iron pot ordered specifically and solely for bread-baking duties; bread baking to follow soon. :)

        I cannot tell you many blessings have come my way as a direct result of our reconnection. Hugs!

        May 13, 2012
      • Poor Lulu. I remember doing that to Jazzmine and her looking at me in an accusatory manner and vomiting for a whole day. May she recover quickly, and without the girl drama. :)

        May 13, 2012
  8. Being a mother does not mean actually giving birth or even adopting. I view the term “Mother” as one that means giving “Unqualified Love and Acceptance” and you certainly have those qualities. And your own Mom did a heck of a job in instilling these in you. Hey, you love me with all of my faults and if that is not a mother then I do not know what is. So, Happy Mother’s Day Andra

    May 13, 2012
    • Marie, I just want to BE you when I grow up. I don’t know how you do everything you do. You genuinely care about so many people, and you’ve accomplished so many amazing things. Happy Mother’s Day!! xo

      May 13, 2012
  9. Liz DeLoach #

    Thanks Andra. Your Blog has certainly added to the quality of this mother’s life many-fold. Enjoy your day.

    May 13, 2012
    • Happy Mother’s Day, Liz!! Thank you for these kind words. They mean a lot to me.

      May 13, 2012
  10. James Moffitt #

    I agree with Liz, your Blog certainly has added quality and quantity to my life as well. I am sitting here wondering if you are talking about your book being published as the “dream” ? I have faith in your gift and your tenacity. I believe that when the time is right it will happen. Keep on keeping on and stay the course. We are here standing beside you. :)

    May 13, 2012
    • Yes. That is the dream, though I have really made it a policy of not writing about that on my blog anymore. People want to read my writing, not my obsessing about writing. That’s why the post was oblique. ;)

      May 13, 2012
  11. Believe me, your dream is real. And books are also children, though they don’t tend to stick their fingers in holes in the stop sign and need “a band-daid” to fix.

    May 13, 2012
    • Ha. My book required more than a band-daid to fix it. Major surgery (and that’s exactly what my pre-editor called it). But I’ve done it and now have some minor procedures to go for it to be really ready. And, she called my work brilliant. (She still bled all over it and called out several writing ticks but still said ‘brilliant.’ It was her job to do the first two things but not the third, so I’ll take it.)

      May 13, 2012
  12. If it helps, I believe in your dream, and I hope for the opportunity to hold the fruits of it in my hand, with your name inked onto the frontispiece!

    I have it, too, after all, a cousin for your dream to play with.

    May 13, 2012
    • May we both bear many cousins, Cameron. :) I’m pulling for you, too, and love everything you’ve published thus far.

      May 13, 2012
  13. What a dear Mother’s Day post, my friend. You, too, are clearly a great friend.
    Hugs,
    Kathy

    May 13, 2012
  14. Andra, a wonderful piece. Your dream must be so close you can almost touch it now :-)

    May 13, 2012
  15. Here’s to nurturing our dreams . . . even if we have to juggle with THREE hands while taking leap after leap in the dark.

    May 13, 2012
    • And falling flat on our faces. And running into walls. And dashing from cliffs. And….. :)

      May 13, 2012
  16. The Good Luck Duck #

    Very sweet. Thanks, Andra, and onward!

    May 13, 2012
    • And, reading your post made me wish I were in Sedona………such a GORGEOUS place.

      May 13, 2012
  17. Andra we all want you to gain your dream. You’ve worked (and continue to work) very hard to gain it! I’m rooting for you every step of the way, every letter, syllable, every period, comma, apostrophe, sentence, chapter and volume! ‘Cause there will be volumes, I know it!

    My older son and his wife just left. They came to visit today and took us to brunch and gifted me with a lovely orchid and very sweet sentiments in a lovely card. This is the first Mother’s Day I’ve ever spent (I do believe) with my adult son and it was just grand!

    May 13, 2012
    • My head will explode if there aren’t volumes. Simply too many ideas and characters in there. :)

      I’m glad you had such a perfect Mother’s Day, Cheryl. I’m looking forward to seeing you and Bill tomorrow night!!

      May 13, 2012
  18. There is no failure in passion and labors of love. You have not failed.

    May 13, 2012
    • Nope. I’ve written a novel. And that’s a goal I’ve had for years. *But* I did fail at sending handwritten Mother’s Day cards to my friends. I hope this less-personal-yet-very-public version cancels that out. :)

      May 13, 2012
  19. It’s such a joy to me to know you across the blogosphere, dear Andra, that I can only imagine what you bring to those who know you intimately! You have an authenticity in the way you express yourself in your relationships, I think, and perhaps that is why your writing also rings so true. You clearly have talent, and I think your singleness of purpose will indeed get you more than just published, but celebrated for your memorable story-telling. Never give up…I believe there is a degree of luck in finding the right publisher, and at some point success is found in out and out tenacity! You’ll get there! Debra

    May 14, 2012
    • Debra, thank you. I sometimes fear that I burden my friends with too much, but I hope not. With my theatrical background, I can be dramatic.

      It has been a pleasure getting to know you, too. I hope you had a Happy Mother’s Day.

      May 14, 2012
  20. What a beautiful tribute Andra. Well spoken/written from the heart, as always.

    May 14, 2012
    • Lori, it sounds like you had a good getaway for Mother’s Day. In spite of the dead mouse in the toilet. And the tick. :) I hope missing Carrington didn’t dampen the special nature of the day.

      May 14, 2012
  21. I love this post, Andra. In some ways, I can relate since I, too, am without child, but I knew years ago it was not meant to be (thou I fondly have thought of helping a lost child from another part of the world).

    Funny, I don’t think I have a book in me. To borrow from Austen times, perhaps, I’ve not the constitution for labor of any type (roll eyes here). You my dear, though, shall realize your child, this I am certain. peace ~

    May 14, 2012
  22. Thank you, my dear friend. I don’t need a card… your postcards to my children are enough. We are all honored to know you and appreciate your sincere reminders to live life.

    May 22, 2012
    • I hope they got the ones from the last trip. When I put those in the box in Bangkok, I was like, “Yeah. Right. Those will NEVER get there.”

      May 22, 2012
      • Yes, we got both. That is, if you sent two. Loved the one about the smiling Buddha. :)

        May 23, 2012

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