A Hairy Situation
It is a fundamental truth of life that females deplore their hair. I’ve never met a woman who cited her tresses as her favorite feature. If our hair is straight, we complain that it’s limp and stringy, and we pine for the lush curls of our ringleted counterparts. Curly hair is simply too unruly, too frizzy, too big, too tangly, and stick-straight hair would solve all of those Nasty Dilemmas of Coiffure.
I am the spawn of a Proper Southern Woman. Just look at her down there, smiling from the aura of her Perfectly Executed Southern Female Beauty Regimen.
As often happens, I am the opposite of my Mother.
At the ripe young age of almost-two, my hair is already mousy brown, straight and stringy. My Mother tried to style it by throwing a portion of it on top of my head in a barrette, but that did little more than condition me to throw all of it up in clips and rubber bands to avoid fixing it as an adult.
In elementary school, stringy-hair-syndrome had fully set in. I suppose the gap in my bangs matched the gap in my front teeth……
At some point, like most females of a certain age, I decided my hair was too straight. I paid real cash to have someone make me look like an electrocution victim. Around this time (I was twenty-two in this picture), those nasty white strands also started appearing with horrifying regularity. For a while, I pulled them out. Then, I realized if I didn’t stop, I was going to look like this again……
And, bald isn’t a very fetching look for an adult female, regardless of how easy it might be to manage. After evaluating my options, I decided blonde was the way to go.
The highlights masked the white while giving my hair (SURPRISE!) the ideal amount of body and shine. Even after flying all night and not combing it, I loved my hair. Only, being hair, it rebelled against my worship of it, going into overdrive to produce more icky white follicles than the blonde could ever trick the eye into containing. Drastic measures of Hair Therapy were required…..
Red. It was the only thing my feeble, highlighted-into-malfunctioning mind could do. After two years as a red head, I still don’t like it. I often shriek when I see that woman in the mirror who turns out to be me.
What do you recommend I do with my hair, Dear Reader?
Red… I love the look on you! I don’t know about that necklace, though. It looks like it should be over with the yellow flowers. Take another look at your facebook glam shot… how can you improve on that hair? I am sure the Rotarians you are currently leading are quite proud of their President.
Your mother is beautiful in her Basic Black and Pearls! She actually looks very much like my mother… and that’s uncanny.
Oh, come on. How can you NOT LIKE a necklace made of rubber? I often wear it when I have to give presentations to groups of men, as I did yesterday at a certain military college.
Didn’t all mothers rock that look in 1971?
That’s like wearing a garland of garlic to a vampires convention…
Let’s see… what ‘certain military college’ would be in SC?
The Lords of Discipline one.
I personally love the necklace!
Well, there you go, Ted. Ha.
I’m assuming going natural is out of the question?
If my hair were all white, I might try it, but it isn’t. And the white is clumped in places.
The red looks great! Not much use if you don’t like it, though… I’m swayed by practicality; how easy is it to maintain?
I was many shades of red/ brown for a long, long time. I was happy with that, but the white roots drove me mad in the end. My plan was to go natural, until I realised that my natural was snow white. I wasn’t yet 40. Now, I think my hair is natural, but it’s got blonde highlights taking the dazzle off the white. I’m not hiding the white- that’s impossible- but I appear blonde. It is SO easy.
Even after about 8 years, I still get taken aback by the blonde reflection sometimes
The red is very easy to maintain, Fiona. People told me it wouldn’t be, but it really is easy. It fades very little between appointments.
I’ve always thought you platinum blonde. Now, I’m trying to imagine you red and brown.
With your radiant smile,I wouldn’t fret too much about the color of your hair (though I do like the red).
Aw. Thank you, Penny.
Andra, you look fab as a red head! I would imagine the maintenance is quite intense though
Maybe go back to your natural brown/auburn and just have highlights for a lift as opposed to a complete change of colour?
My stylist said I would have to go back to dark brown if I want to get rid of the red. I said that’s what I wanted at my last appointment, but now I’m waffling.
My stylist seems to believe that caramel highlights are the solution to all of life’s ills. I love you in the red, but I routinely box-dye my own hair shades of “dark auburn,” so there you go.
It’s funny, though. I actually think at this point in my life, my hair might actually be my most reliable—and thus favorite—feature.
I’m glad to be hearing from women today who like their hair.
I’m trying to avoid highlights again. That was such a process, and it took forever in the hair chair.
I’m generally quite lazy about my hair, and at 49 years old have never dyed it, but I am getting those stray grays around the temples. Soon I will need to decide if I should cover them or not….
I’m getting greys up there, too, but the sides are snow white. My greying pattern is just like my father’s.
I LOVE the red hair, but if you’re looking for any sort of change, I say go with a bob! You could rock any hairdo.
Yes, Charmaine did mention changing the style last time as an alternative. The thing I like about this style is how lazy I can be. Ha.
I’m thinking dirty blonde with platinum highlights (wouldn’t that hide any white that grows? I think you look lovely no matter what your hair color.
Luckily I like my hair (because it’s one of the things I can change).
Saturday I’m changing the hairstyle and the color – I’m going platinum with pink highlights, or perhaps just a pink splotch somewhere on the head.
The summer of my senior year I had long thick hair that hung to my waist, I wanted it curly so I went and had a perm, it cost me $27.50 (this was in 1976) and it burned all the underneath hair so I had long hair on the outside but the underneath hair was burned all the way up to the top of my shoulders – that’s when I learned not to mess with perms.
I’m looking forward to seeing what you do wtih your hair next. Oh, does MTM ever give you hair advice? Mike is always telling me to grow it out again but I refuse – nothing like working out and having sweat drip off your hair – yuck.
Lori, I hope you will post photos of this new ‘do, because I’d love to see pink highlights. I admire your sense of hair adventure.
MTM liked it best blonde, because that’s how it was when we met. And, he is one of those men who like long hair, too. Because I like long hair, that isn’t a big deal for me.
Embrace the silver streaks! They are the merit badges of real life. Honestly, I fought my hair until I stopped coloring it and let it grow out. Now I love it.
Janet, you may inspire me, but I am such a chicken.
Truthfully, you looked lovely in each incarnation; and it actually makes little difference what color the hair, ’cause with you it’s all about that smile! It’s the thing folks will notice first and remember best. I honestly cannot recall what color your hair was when I first knew you, but I’d recognize that smile and those eyes anywhere!
(I think I have photos of ME that look like your Mom in ’71!
)
I started highlighting it when you met me, Karen. I had been dating a guy who liked it dark, and I started highlighting it about six months after we broke up.
I’d love to see that picture of you!!
Ask and ye shall receive…
Your Mom’s photo was at the beginning of the year and mine was at the tag end, but the “style” is unmistakeable!! The other two depict one of my “blonde” phases.
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.3234424143113.2126649.1341961177&type=1&l=68c83330b0
I LOVE the picture, Karen!!
If you want to continue with the coloring, try lightening and highlighting the red or going back to blond or go bold and go black. It could look great against your skin color. (Or it could look like Morticia but both work I think!)
However grey can be lovely especially if it leans towards silver or white. You will look good no matter what, so, play!
Didn’t know I was a fashionista did you? Also the photographer in me says – I bet the color looks much better in real light, give us an outdoor, under a tree, indirect light, photograph so we can truly see the hair color!
My stylist did suggest some highlights in the red last time to keep me doing the red. She really likes it on me. We’ll see……….
and now they took away the automatic follow up liink so…I need to chaeck the box. Sorry for the double post
As I read this I was reminded of how fortunate I am to NOT be female. I did enjoy looking at the different views of Andra though. I thought you looked stunning with the black hair. I almost did not recognize you. I have only known the Andra with red hair and I think it looks good on you. Then again, I am a man and my hair requirements are quite simple.
The big hair one is my first engagement photo. I look at that one and truly wonder who that girl is. I cannot believe she is me.
I’m not licensed, but I have worked in a salon in the past…I would suggest that you go dark brown to get rid of the red, and have your hairdresser layer in a lot of dark caramel/gold highlights about 2 weeks after (just so you don’t fry your hair in one shot). As a former red-head, I know it can be harsh to try to get rid of it in one big swoop. I’ve finally learned to embrace my natural texture, at least some of the time. Although, today I’m rocking my “Miss Texas” pageant hair…the higher the hair, the closer to Jesus.
That’s sort of what my stylist suggested, too, though she really likes the red best. I struggle with highlights because they aren’t good for my hair, and they take for-freaking-ever. This is much faster, even if I don’t like the end product as much……….
I’ll ask the lady that does my hair what kind of highlight formula she uses on me, because it develops fairly quickly and my hair actually feels better after she does finishes.
Now that I’ve had a couple of cardinal sins, MTM and I decided to just leave it red and highlight the front……thank goodness the appointment isn’t until Tuesday…….
God, I wish I had a good answer. My hair has always been “bad.” a my mother would say–thin, fine, stringy. Now it’s still all of those things and nearly completely gray. Wish I could advise, but I’ve had a bad-hair-life. You wouldn’t want to listen to me.
Hugs,
Kathy
And, I like your hair in all of the pictures you post of yourself, Kathy. If mine were that pretty au naturel, I would totally let it go.
Hell, it’s FAR fom natural, my friend! I think, as I get older, less and less of me remains natural. I’m just an aging, female fake. So sad.
I think that’s really what I’m struggling with here, Kathy. The ‘I don’t look like I used to, and I don’t like it’ syndrome that hits most of us women at some point or another. I’ll just try to keep smiling……..I look much better with a smile on my face.
First, let me go against the grain. I used to think my straight hair was kind of blah but fun to braid. And then I had kids. I fear something deeply here. I fear that women who go through pregnancy get one magical wish that can come true out of the pregnancy and that I wasted mine on “Jesus I hope this hair sticks with me”. Because I suddenly have curly hair. Wavy curly I love my hair. I’m going gray naturally, and I will only be upset if I lose the body.
My suggestions for your hair are two (and I’m not an expert. When I’m grumpy, I’ll go years without seeing a beautician, or I would when it was straight, with no ill effects). One, I really like the way it looks. It looks fun, easy to manage, and it frames your face delightfully.
Two, if you DO change, accept the heart attack and do something drastic. Get layers and go short. (You’ve seen my post about how doing so totally traumatized me, but it was worth it in the end.) Ask around to find a beautician that others trust. (Unlike me. I still wander in and turn myself over to people, even though I have a regular stylist now) Take that person pictures of hair you like and ask how realistic it is for you. Get a hair analysis. There is such a thing though I may have the wrong word. (I’m cheap, and I won’t pay to have someone opine over something I will only care for with a brush)
There’s software – http://www.lhj.com/style/hair/try-a-hairstyle/try-a-hairstyle/ that will let you experiment with your photograph. Play with that in the presence of a beautician who can tell you whether the style would really work with your hair.
Those are my windy thoughts anyway.
Even without having kids, my hair has gone from stick-straight to wavy. The last picture required a straightening iron, something I never in my life believed I would own.
In my dreams, I can afford to fly to a big city and sit in a chair and pay $800 for some star hair person to just do whatever to my hair. That is the only way I will ever do something more radical than turn it red, which was pretty dang radical.
I wish I could be more Lady Gaga. *Sigh*
I like the blonde hair but I would be prejudiced since I spend a fortune to continue to be blonde in my advanced years. I’m thinking about cutting mine SO short that I would be forced to realized what color it actually it. Fortunately, I, too have inherited my father’s genes and his family doesn’t grey. Therefore, I am stuck with either coloring the rest of my life or being icky brown. I’ve tried icky brown and it doesn’t go with my skin tone so I suppose I’m a slave to the bleach! I think you could really rock a blonde bob. It would frame your cheekbones and the color would brighten your lovely face! Post pictures of whatever you do. Happy weekend.
Blonde is definitely the way I want to go when it gets grey-er. The really-dark roots drive me crazy, and I still have quite a bit of dark.
I like a lighter brown with blonde highlights for you.
Here’s a Jennifer Anniston photo as an example:
http://0.tqn.com/d/beauty/1/0/P/P/1/jennifer-aniston-blonde.jpg
You have a great smile and really nice eyes, which is 90% of the battle from the neck up, IMO.
I like the red, but really like your picture with MTM.
MLB goes through these same thoughts FREQUENTLY.
Do follow up this post with what you decide.
Yes, yes. I have THE SAME HAIR as Jennifer’s, but I do not have her money for maintenance. If I could visit any stylist and ask what to do with my hair, it would be Chris McMillan, the guy who does her hair. I rocked the Rachel when it was popular, and her highlighting inspired my own, in a way.
Andra, I shall not give any hair advise. I am totally useless. I’m the one who managed to do square curls!
I allow the stylist to do what she wants, it is not as drastic as it sounds: she lives next door. So whether it be highlights or lowlights; I just go with the flow.
My stylist really likes it red. And, my hair is a lot healthier.
An Up-Do might be a Cool Do
While chilling on Cool Blow
The color I’ll leave up to you
The style? Go Afro!
No more perms for me…..
I love the red on you. Don’t get me started on the covering up thing. Highlights are a friend to this fro but can only do so much. I do really like the red on you. Pretty.
Most people think it’s natural, which is a plus for me. Thank you, Emily.
Speaking as a person with hair of a different color, I have to say that I LOVE my hair. Blue was one of the best choices I’ve ever made. You never have a bad hair day when your hair is blue. And if anyone ever says something it’s almost always, “I love your hair!” Of course the drawback is that it’s impossible to melt into a crowd, not that I’ve ever wanted to do that! Your hair is your best accessory! And I love yours! If you hate it, don’t be afraid to get a little crazy. I think you’d look great in pink!
Robin, when you posted that photo of you and your blue hair, I screamed, “Of course she did that, and it looks awesome!!!”
Thank you ma’am. I do love it!
Boy oh boy, did this elicit a lot of comments! Honestly, I love you red but I don’t know you any other way. “They” say that as we get older, we should go lighter. If you really want to get rid of the red and have to go back to brown to do it, make sure it’s temporary. Sorry, but there are very few people who look good with dark brown hair and fair skin. If you really want to go bold, go chin length with layers!
I’ve always believed lighter is better on aging beauties.
I cannot hide in my house while it is dark, either, if I go that route. If it weren’t so dang hot here, I’d shave my head and wear wigs like Cher and Dolly Parton.
I love the red hair, because it’s just not as typical, and I really hope you will embrace how special you are! I loved your comment about being an electrocution victim! Too, too, funny…I think I have some of those photos myself! You are absolutely right about one thing…we are all too self-critical. You smile from the inside out, Andra, and that’s what’s noticed first…and I really think you have lovely hair! I do! Debra
Well, we shall see what I do to it. When I fix it, which is rare, I like it.
You’re a lovely redhead! I’ve so much grey these days that I do my own via temporary…no cash to keep up otherwise. Do what your little voice tells ya! I’ve been cutting away for the last year. This Friday, I will probably go shorter than I have my whole life…think Jean Seberg. My twitter picture has the latest (I feel odd updating my avatar with every cut…seems vain) Good luck…please post anything dramatic ~
The blonde is really cute on you! Of course I have redhead envy — not something I can really get away with.
I walked behind a woman in Hong Kong who had gorgeous auburn hair. It looked very natural, though it couldn’t have possibly been without a fluke somewhere in her family history.
I did end up with a new hair style, though I kept it red. Just a different hue. http://instagr.am/p/K8WKE3CCgh/