No. 8 Tinkle: Gran Hotel La Florida Barcelona
It was supposed to be a romantic retreat at the end of a work trip to Barcelona. Gran Hotel La Florida is perched on Tibidabo, the crest of earth where Barcelona broke off and almost slid into the sea. When MTM lived in Barcelona, it was an abandoned ruin, a ghostly shell that blighted the view of the carnival lights that strobed next door.
In 2004, he took me to Barcelona. He had to sit on architecture reviews with his friend Miguel Roldan, leaving me to wander that glorious city on my own for a couple of days. When MTM’s working stint ended, Miguel took us to a sprawling Spanish lunch in the Eixample.
It was delicious.
It was morcilla.
I ate every bite of the bloody mess.
MTM’s work stint ended, and we took a taxi up to Gran Hotel La Florida for our final two days. The ruin had been transformed into a decadent oasis overlooking the city, the Mediterranean sparkling in the distance. Our marble clad room had its own balcony. If we left the French doors open, we could almost hear children screaming on the spinning carnival rides.
And the bathroom. My God, the bathroom.
We had a perfect toilet and an equally infallible European convention, a bidet. The shower was a platform with waterfall sides that diverted the water into a hidden drain below. The sink was littered with expensive products for my face, my legs, my teeth, my hair. I wanted to split myself in several pieces and spend simultaneous time in each place.
Mostly, I spent my two days at Gran Hotel La Florida clutching the toilet. In agony. The closest I got to the carnival was driving the porcelain bus.
It turned out that blood sausage did not agree with me. Or it was poisoned with bacteria from the bowels of hell. Either way, I spent more time with that toilet than I did with my poor abandoned husband.
I’d still go back to that bathroom. Just don’t try to make me eat the morcilla. Ever. Again.
This post is part of the series My Top 10 Tinkles. If this is your first visit to my urinary extravaganza, please click here to start the series at the beginning. Thank you for reading my blog, for sharing it, and for spending time here.