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Can I Gnaw on Dr. Dukan?

It happens to the best of us girls. We wake up one morning, sometime in our forties, and realize that our fat-retaining bodies tip the scale closer to 200 pounds than 100. Clothes that used to hang on our frames now pinch and bulge and cut off circulation to our brains, causing us to think having that extra cookie or several won’t paint things tighter.

Okay, I admit it. I’m the dumb-dumb in the bunch.

And, this hoovering-everything-she-encountered female is now taking charge of her pie hole. Ten years ago this month, MTM walked into a room and said hello to me. I weighed 135 pounds that sunny day in July, and I’m determined to tip the scale at the same weight this July 30.

Dr. Pierre Dukan is my

personal torturer

slave driver

the Antichrist from the flaming pit of hell

Salvation for the Starving.

In just three weeks of being so hungry I could eat a small child dieting, I am within 10 pounds of my target. My cleavage is disappearing, and my bra doesn’t cause fourteen fat rolls down my back. Last week, I donned an old pair of jeans without applying vaseline and holding my breath until my face turned blue.

Of course, staring into a big honking bowl of THIS vomitous bile deliciousness would make anyone drop pounds.

And, I only get to eat regurgitated broccoli every other day right now. That’s the genius of Dr. Dukan’s French Wonder Diet. He purses his lips the way the French do, in that popping expelling of breath that sounds like ‘pah,’ and he delivers the His Perfect Diet. For up to seven days (the Attack Phase), one is allowed nothing but protein, which gave me an excuse to drive an hour-and-a-half for Scott’s BBQ. I consumed two pounds in less than 48 hours, because I could eat as much lean protein as I wanted.

Yes, Scott’s counted.

My current phase (the Cruise Phase) is alternating days of lean protein with protein and certain vegetables, three days per pound I want to lose. In August, I will graduate to adding back carbs and fats from Dr. Dukan’s Omniscient List. Called the Consolidation Phase, I can eat as much as I want from his list, five days per pound I lost, have two cheat meals per week, and eat nothing but lean protein every Thursday.

If I have not starved to death by the end, I will enter the Stabilization Phase, a lifetime of eating lean protein every Thursday, downing three tablespoons of oat bran a day and using Dr. Dukan’s Omniscient List to keep my wanton cravings in check.

MTM is the Ultimate Supportive Spouse, doing this nonsense participating with me. If I’m lucky, he will breeze into a room on July 30, wearing the same powder blue dress shirt that caught my eye a decade ago.

Because, it will fit him again.

Given that the only way I can enjoy anything edible right now is to write about it, my series this week will be composed of a few stories about decadent, delectable food. If I can get through the week without gnawing on my computer screen, it will be a Dukan Miracle.

For further reading on the Dukan Diet, follow the highlighted links in this post.

50 Comments Post a comment
  1. Michael Carnell #

    I just want to stay on the phase where it is all BBQ! At least all protein. I would happily stay there for the rest of my life. Yumm!!!

    July 9, 2012
    • I was about to advocate you check out Mark Sisson (http://primalblueprint.com/pages/Mark-Sisson.html), but then I found this (http://180degreehealth.com/2011/04/mark-sisson). The second article seems much more common sense to me. Maybe there’s much truth in that old adage about too much of a good thing?

      We’d probably ALL do much better to study and adhere to a bit of common sense nutrition, than to buy into the diet du jour. I’m just as guilty of doing that as the next guy, and the choices are legion: http://www.webmd.com/diet/evaluate-latest-diets Anyhoo, you might want to re-think that “all protein” business! :)

      July 9, 2012
      • Karen, I linked to this article from the NY Times in my post, but I’m going to call it out here. It is a recent study of weight loss, and it corroborates what my doctor has been telling me for years. When I’m done with this program, the primary thing I want to have gained is more self-control and the incorporation of more vegetables into my diet. The Attack Phase is the only one that is all-protein, and it only lasts for up to a week.

        July 9, 2012
    • I will find more excuses to drive to Scott’s in the coming weeks, Carnell. It is a yummilicious reward. :)

      July 9, 2012
  2. Oh yeah, August will be wine month as well. “THE BOTTLE” awaits.

    July 9, 2012
  3. James Moffitt #

    Your determination to lose weight is very scary. LOL… I guess that is the difference between those of us that want to lose weight and those that WILL lose weight. Most of the battle is in the mind. We know what we need to do but most of us (talking about myself) struggle with doing it. I congratulate you and MTM for being persistent and persevering despite how difficult it must be.

    July 9, 2012
  4. Like (as noted above), I guess?

    July 9, 2012
    • I’m eating more tomatoes than I’ve ever eaten in my life. Every other day. :)

      July 9, 2012
  5. I think I would need a blindfold to get past that bowl of green “goodness.” :)

    Seriously, having recently been through this process, I wish you complete success. Just be careful that what you leave behind does not ultimately creep back and reattach behind; i.e., retain some principles you can continue to apply when this plan has run its cycle (unless you would choose to do it all again next year). In truth, however, I’m not sure why you’re dieting–I thought you looked pretty darned good in that photo from Scott’s BBQ last week.

    That said, I think I’m gonna enjoy this series as the chuckles will undoubtedly continue to escalate from here!

    July 9, 2012
    • What I like most about this whole thing is how, over time, it teaches me to eat. Having discovered a gluten intolerance last year, I’d packed on more than 10 pounds just being mad about it, having the french fries because I could eat them and the extra cocktail in lieu of dessert. Plus, white rice derived substitutes for gluten taste best, but according to this plan, white rice is among the most empty calories on the planet. I’m viewing this as a lifestyle change, because I simply cannot eat the way I was before.

      July 9, 2012
  6. I loved broccoli until I saw this “regurgitated” version. Now I’m not so sure. However, having been on NutriSystem since May 2011 and having just finished the program a week ago, 71 pounds lighter, any plan, if it works, is well worth the effort. Good luck with that last 10 pounds; I’m sure you’ll make it!

    July 9, 2012
    • mtm #

      Just for the record, the ‘regurgitated broccoli’ was really broccoli, scallion and kale soup with ricotta (non-fat). Although a bit thick, it was very tasty. I’ll just have to work on the presentation….

      July 9, 2012
      • I can’t believe you thought about that phrase all night……….

        It does taste good, but it feels really icky in my mouth.

        July 9, 2012
      • The Good Luck Duck #

        Kale does have a funny mouth-feel, but it’s a nutritional poWOWerhouse. I’m not going to talk about juice here.

        July 11, 2012
    • Kim, you and Karen have rocked that diet. I wish I could see you both, because I know you look great.

      July 9, 2012
  7. Congrats and best of luck. I would die on that diet, I can tell you that for sure.

    July 9, 2012
    • The thing I really like about it is how I don’t have to count and measure things. That’s always a fail for me.

      July 9, 2012
  8. Oh wow! This morning (after vacation in Montana at my Mom and Daddy’s place), I tipped the scales – the highest I have been in over two years (yes, Karen it has creeped back up on me and attached itself to…well…everywhere). Perhaps I’ll just visit here every single day (since I’ll be here anyway) for my meals? Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.

    Andra, the mosquitos in Montana are horrendous!!! Even with massive repellant applied to ALL areas – the dang things would still buzz through the repellant fog and suck your blood leaving you with swollen foreign-looking appendages sticking out everywhere. I found myself wondering how you would write about it as I was swatting and swinging on the shortest hike I’ve ever taken…not pretty. :(

    July 9, 2012
    • Lori, I’m planning to write about food I WISH I could eat, so I may not be very helpful. :)

      The mosquitoes up there are big, too, aren’t they? Does anything stop them? I hope you had a good vacation, in spite of the sucking creatures.

      July 9, 2012
  9. Jill Clary Stevenson #

    I can’t believe Lou didn’t post this one! Good luck with your program.

    July 9, 2012
    • Thanks, Jill. :)

      July 9, 2012
    • I was flying out the door this am and no time for a review of my 7 Zillion vids on file. :)

      July 9, 2012
  10. Blurry hell, well done, Andra! Great drive, excellent result, especially bearing in mind that bowl of broccoli….

    July 9, 2012
    • Not done yet. My body is aggressively holding onto those remaining 10 pounds………….

      July 9, 2012
  11. I’m impressed you can write anything with that going on! I find under those circumstances my brain goes completely AWOL.

    July 9, 2012
    • My first full day of no carbs was pretty fuzzy. Since then, I’ve had more energy than I’ve had in a long time. Hope it continues. :)

      July 9, 2012
  12. Bless your heart, Andra. Diets suck–big time!
    Hugs,
    Kathy

    July 9, 2012
    • I have begged for a visit to Dr. Suck, the vacuum-er of thighs, but I’m sure MTM is right and that is ill-advised…….

      July 9, 2012
  13. I understand the driving force behind the call to discipline! I am glad to see there is something green included in the list of acceptable foods…and I think I’ll just wish you well! I’m not sure I could work with that particular “version” of broccoli! We each have to tackle this issue in our own way, figuring out what works! I look forward to the foods you want to talk about and hope it won’t undermine your determination! A ten year anniversary is a wonderful milestone! Debra

    July 10, 2012
    • This has got to be a life change, Debra. I had reached the point where it was either go up a dress size and buy a new wardrobe or lose enough to wear the closets full of clothes I already have. I suspect I won’t ever be able to go back to eating the way I was again, and what I like about this plan is how it’s reset my palate. I crave things that are good for me now that I didn’t used to want at all. I hope we can both stick with it. Thanks for your encouragement.

      July 10, 2012
  14. Wow. That is all.

    July 10, 2012
  15. I am a terrible enabler of bad food habits, and therefore must stop commenting now.

    July 10, 2012
  16. Andra, I’m sure you will get a LOT of doubters about your diet plan. I always did when I was on Atkins. But the proof is in the results. I ALWAYS feel better cutting out carbs. I would also have my cholesterol checked after being on all the red meat, dairy (not milk, too many carbs) I could eat. My cholesterol always dropped. Into the 139 range.

    Most of the haters are those who maybe lack the discipline to follow through with this type of diet. Carbs are what bring on diabetes and the Peak & Crash of blood sugar levels.

    So glad you’re doing what you’re doing. Congrats.

    July 11, 2012
    • The hardest things are going out to eat and traveling. We’ve started frequenting a sushi restaurant, because we can eat as much sashimi as we want. :) The next time we go on a trip, I’m just going to have to take food with us. There won’t be anything that we can eat.

      I agree that I feel much better without them. We’ll see what happens when I get to add some carbs and fats back in the next phase.

      July 11, 2012
  17. Yay you! I only will offer this link and suggestion because I care (roll eyes, I”m a firm believer that we have to give our body the nutrition to ward off all that we consume that isn’t good or natural)

    ..Watch it, or Forks over Knives sometime, if anything, watch the last 20 minutes, the guy is from my state and his story is Amazing. Continued success, Andra ~

    July 12, 2012
    • This is temporary, though I will not return to consuming the pile of carbs I did before. Diabetes runs in my family, and my body simply does not process sugars well. In the end, I want the bulk of my plate to be vegetables, with some protein and an occasional small helping of carbs. (I will probably drink those. Ha.)

      July 12, 2012
      • ha! I get this, I was diagnosed hyperglycemic as a teen. I didn’t take the sugar/carb thing seriously until 10 years ago. Now, only whole grains like brown rice and popcorn (I’ve always luved it!). Energy alone keeps me a believer in mainly fruits and veggies. That, and I take no medications, after I was told I’d be on some for life. ~

        July 12, 2012
      • Ah. Popcorn. It is one of my very favorite things. :) Very glad you managed to defy those pill pushing doctors and get things worked out naturally.

        July 13, 2012

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