My Kingdom for Pimento Cheese
In The South, we take a lot of really-bad-for-you foods and make them worse. Chunks of fatback in every conceivable vegetable dish. Buttermilk AND flour for frying, because it’s the best way. A crazy story about how chunks of fried cornmeal were fed to hush puppies, when everyone knows a real, live Southerner ate hushpuppies first.
Among my favorite classics of The South is Pimento Cheese. No, not that Velveeta-bred stuff in the freezer case at the local market. That stuff HAS to be created from melted 1970′s Tupperware containers.
Ick.
Homemade pimento cheese is a festival of flavors on the tongue. In front, it bursts with the mingled nose of white and sharp cheddar, shredded by hand. Spicy pimentos step up in the middle, with just a hint of good mayonnaise. Too much mayo smothers the whole essence and transmogrifies it into gloppy goo. But, when one swallows……..that’s the test of a good PC. If it doesn’t have enough kick of cayenne and black pepper to make the eyes tear, then it is a Nasty Pretender Posing as the Real Thing.
Spread it on a cracker. Slather it between two slices of white bread. Or lick it off your finger. That’s the method I prefer, because everyone else is too grossed out to eat after me, leaving the whole decadent bowl to disappear into my raving tummy.
Mashing two blocks of cheese together with mayonnaise. Yeah. A Southerner definitely thought that one up.
Pimento Cheese Recipe
8 ounces of white cheddar and sharp cheddar, grated (cheeses like Manchego also work)
8 ounces (two small jars) pimentos, drained and chopped
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
Cayenne pepper to taste (I add some at the mix and more before serving)
1/2 – 2/3 cup mayonnaise (less is more with PC)
In a large bowl, combine grated cheese, chopped pimentos and black pepper. Stir cayenne into the mayo and add to the cheese mixture. Mix with a fork until the mixture clings together. Refrigerate. Best if made at least two days before serving.
Oh boy do I believe you! My mother was born in California but spent many of the “war years” and briefly beyond in Mississippi, close to my grandmother’s family. As a result we have a lot of southern culture in our mostly west coast nest. And one of the things that is a holdover from mom’s childhood is pimento cheese! I find it “okay” but to my mother, this is gold! While my dad’s recovering and not eating a regular diet she hasn’t been eating as well either…so I recently found a quality pimento cheese and took it to her. Comfort food! I love the idea of Manchego…I wouldn’t have thought of that higher quality cheese, but what a great idea. I’ll make this for her! I suppose you’re staying far away from this delicacy for the time being? Debra
I think it might be interesting to try it with some manchego and maybe some gruyere, heavier on the manchego, instead of cheddars. There’s also a really wonderful cheese called Red Leicester that I bet you can get in LA – very deep orange and firm – that might be an interesting one to try. I buy it every time I see it, which isn’t often in this part of the world.
I made this for Alice’s going-away party tomorrow night. I did enjoy licking the fork, but that’s all I had.
Nothing better than good pimento cheese – made with good cheese. I like some garlic in there myself.
Thanks for sharing.
Bill, I found a recipe that included garlic and pickles. I do love garlic, but it does not love me.
If you have a variation you’d like to share, please come back and share it.
It’s 1:30 a.m., I’m starving, then I see this post about pimento cheese. And there’s not even any unpimento cheese in the house. So I’m hurrying to bed before I convince myself to head out to the grocery store in the middle of the night.
Kathy, I hope you slept through the urge to nosh.
I wrote this one late yesterday afternoon to avoid that happening myself.
Golf and pimento cheese. a good walk spoiled.
Miracle Whip is NOT MAYONNAISE!!!!!!!! This is food heresy. FOOD HERESY!!!!
Right you are – most horrible concoction on the planet. I actually make my own mayo now.
I am perhaps the ONLY Southerner who doesn’t have a compulsion to eat a pimento cheese sandwich. I detest mayonnaise! And love cheddar cheese. Put the two together? Heck no! My Mama didn’t make or serve it (though she did serve us grilled ‘Treat’ and cheddar sandwiches, ‘Treat’ is the the cousin of SPAM). The first time I ever was given a PC sandwich, I was at a friend’s house (and the lady of the house was my Mama’s college roommate). She’d made grilled sandwiches for her sons, my friends. I spit that thing out ‘right quick.’
However, I have learned that Palmetto Cheese is a grand new age pimento cheese–you see–all I’d ever had before this commercially available version was a gourmet chef’s recipe for it (Louis Osteen’s version which uses cream cheese too! http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/louis-osteens-pimiento-cheese-50400000119135/ and not much mayo considering the proportions) Palmetto Cheese has a jalepeno version which I love with Fritos Scoops. http://www.pimentocheese.com/products.php Junk food for when you just need a fix.
You’re not alone. I won’t eat just a plain pimento cheese sandwich either. The only way I’ve ever found pimento cheese to be appealing was on a burger. In my hometown of Spartanburg, SC there’s a hole in the wall bar called the Nu-Way Lounge. They serve the “Redneck burger” which is just a regular burger with pimento cheese and pickles on it.
A burger with pimento cheese on it is HEAVENLY.
As anyone can see, there are so many variations of pimento cheese. It is impossible not to find a recipe that suits the palate.
(Thank God I can eat veggies today.)
i discovered pimento cheese on burgers recently over at Coleman Public House. Tasty stuff
Oh sheesh. Thanks for telling me that, Eugene.
Fantastic on burgers. Sesame makes a mean Carolina burger with pimento cheese.
Also, the wine and cheese shop in West Ashley called “In Good Taste” makes a mean pimento cheese. She only makes it occasionally, but it is all made from scratch with some of their best cheeses. It is out of this world.
I think better cheeses make really awesome pimento cheese. It certainly doesn’t have to be cheddar only.
Hmmmm, I’ve never had Pimento Cheese, er, I should say I’ve never had homemade (or “real” Pimento Cheese). When I was a kid we had the “Cheese-Whiz” that was flavored as pimento cheese that we stuffed into celery. This was a Thanksgiving treat that we munched on prior to Thanksgiving Dinner, however, all of us kids would refuse to eat it because of the “red stuff” in it (or some of us hungrier ones would pick out the red stuff). Ha.
Some day, when I’m not watching my weight climb, climb, climb I will have to try this.
It’s really good for a party, Lori, or as something to take to a potluck. That way, you can try it without eating all of it yourself.
Cheese Whiz. Ahhhhh. I remember that.
My grandmother’s wasn’t spicy, but I used to love it when I was a kid. The first time I tried the supermarket stuff, I threw up.
The garlic versions aren’t spicy. Maybe that’s what she made. Other versions use Tabasco instead of straight cayenne like me. Sam and Caroline might like it as a summertime treat.
You know that you can make it into balls, gently roll it in corn meal, and then deep frie it. Yummmmmmm!!!
Oh, and to make it really good – since I hate mayonaise like some others here, you can use cream cheese instead of the mayonaise, or in actuality it is better to do a 50/50 split. Thicker, heavier, cheesier and so much better for you!
Deep fried pimento cheese. You are really evil, Carnell.
One of my friends makes it, and I swear she uses ricotta instead of mayo. She won’t give me her recipe, so I’ll never know.
The Fresh Market makes a version with jalapeno peppers which really spices up the cheeses. When I was in college, the Dairy Bar (Columbia) served a pimento burger and it was delicious. How long til lunch???
Not long now, and I get to gnaw on veggies and meat. No cheese.
So much for everyone’s diet today ;>)
I’m sticking to mine, Howard. That doesn’t mean I can’t find another way to enjoy food.
I love pimento cheese. Sesame has wonderful burgers with pimento cheese.
I getting a feeling of where we may be going to lunch today.
It sounds like you and Carnell will be dining there for lunch directly, Nancy.
All your fault! Here is a nice photo of the pimento cheese burger… http://instagram.com/p/M6G8MJlA9V/
I hope your lovely wife is with you, Carnell. She and I may both kill you if you went without her.
She was indeed. Who do you think had the idea?!
How fascinating! Mayo on cheese?Now French fries okay. I’ve got to agree with the other commenter, not good diet food!
I just dream about it these days, Susan.
It is off my food docket for now.
My mom made pimiento cheese from my earliest memories. Sharp cheddar, mayo, tabasco. Oh my. One of my favs.
I’ve been miserable all day, just thinking about it…….I bet your mom’s was tasty, Liz.
I make a recipe that came from Sarah O’Kelley at The Glass Onion. In addition to the cayenne and hot sauce (I use Cholula), her recipe calls for chopped green onion. At first I scoffed, because none of the “traditional” pimento cheese I’ve had included onions, but I have to admit that the onions give it a nice kick. I’ve never been that talented in the kitchen, but people have requested it at parties and it’s now the hit of my mom’s bridge club.
Jordan, I’ve had it with onions, and they do add a nice kick. Unfortunately, they are like garlic for me. I’ll have to look for that hot sauce. The spicier, the better for me.
I LOVE homemade pimento cheese! After reading all of the comments about all the fantastic cheeses that could be used to create a myriad of different PC recipes, I have to wonder if I should share my first experience with homemade PC. It was shortly after my grandmother retired and began to receive her Social Security…she made her Pimento Cheese with (yep, you guessed it)…government cheese! I remember her putting it in hot dog buns and toasting it for us when we would go to visit! So, there is my truly redneck Southern Pimento Cheese story! Thanks for leading me back to that memory…oh, and thanks for using the word “transmogrifies”. I think that will be the word of the day at the Roscoe house!
Lord love Calvin & Hobbes, because that’s where I learned that word, Erin.
It’s always interesting to me to hear how food imprints itself on our memories. Thanks for sharing your story of your grandmother’s pimento cheese.
I swear, Andra, your being on this diet and writing about food is going to be the death of me. Now I’m hungry for pimento cheese. ANd you’ re right–Miracle Whip is heresy!
Hugs,
Kathy
At least tomorrow, I’m writing about something delicious that I CAN eat.
Hope you’re continuing to mend, Kathy.
And now, oh newly slim one, I must go down and treat myself to crackers and cheese.
Mouth watering post.
I’m not fully slim yet, Kate. This post does not help, because this bowl is in my refrigerator, awaiting a party tomorrow night.
I miss cheese and crackers. And cheese and baguette. And cheese-on-cheese.
Mmmm… pimento cheeeeeese. Dee-lish! Lovingly… if not lustily… heralded here. Well done, you.
I hope ‘anything in moderation’ will apply when I’m through.
Of course, I couldn’t just stop at your recipe, Andra, I had to continue on and read the comments and, well, mostly salivated. Oh, well . . . it has been fun catching up with your posts.
It’s great to have you back, Penny. I hope your internet continues to cooperate and you get a drenching cool rain.
Sweet mother of cheese!! You write about that diet yesterday, and torture yourself with this today?
Yes, I’d totally eat that.
I’m pretty sure it has a kissing cousin in the Woonsocket French Canadian community, whose recipe is lost in a dying patois.
I guarantee you your Felix would love it, too. It makes an amazing grilled cheese sandwich. Of course, butter the bread.
I’m getting ready to google Woonsocket.
Tiny city in Rhode Island with a strong French Canadian heritage. My husband’s people are all from there. His Memere speaks more patois than English now that she’s old and cantankerous, and the food at holiday meals still surprises me.
Sadly, my Felix has a horrifically limited palate. Mark and I will eat anything once, and most things repeatedly, but our son rejects 99% of the food in the world. Sigh.
Maybe if you gave it to him like Calvin’s mom did in the comic strip, with some crazy story about it being alien brains or something, he would try.
I definitely don’t have the desire to try this, um, taste treat, anytime soon. I’m not really big on mayo or pimento. And then cayenne – way too hot for this sissy-boy, picky eater.
It’s heaven in the mouth.
But, I understand.
You and I would get along famously – i’m a cheese freak in any shape or form ;D
You know, this is one of those things that I’ve heard about but am not sure I’ve ever had. Which seems perverse. I might have to print out that recipe!
Take it to a party or gathering where you have to bring a dish. That way, you can enjoy a little of it but not have it stuck to you.
It does seem like the sort of thing I don’t really need to eat a whole recipe of!
Have enjoyed this series Andra, forgot to post…I can not be trusted around Pimento Cheese, its so addictive…the recipe I use was given to me from my friend Gracy. It is her Mom’s recipe and she serves it on triscuits topped with sweet pickles. (No mayo and add pecans and of course i add two different hot sauces, cause i can’t help myself) Good luck w/ your diet!
Molly, having eaten your toffee, which is THE BEST EVER, I would assert that any recipe of yours is a winner. I wish I’d tried your PM when I could see you regularly. The next time we’re in NY, we should have a PM smack down.
xo