Shopping My Closet
Drama breeds contempt. After living much of my life in a state of High Drama, the act of shopping for a single dress to flatter my new figure was dragging me back into the dramatic gutter. I had to make a change.
Fast.
I decided to shop my closet. Surely, some forgotten something would be lurking there.
Et, voila! Maybe I found it. The dress I wore to my rehearsal dinner in 2004. Watters & Watters.
Sleek green silk organza with flourishes of pink and blue ribbon. Strapless but not floor length. A princess dress. It could be cocktail party or nice dinner, if I bothered to iron it before I put it on.
I ripped it from its plastic tomb and zipped myself into it, smirking with glee that it didn’t hang up around my hips or catch on any bulge. I knew – just KNEW – that it would be the new old dress for me.
Only, I had a small problem. TWO small problems. My shrunken bosoms no longer filled the thing out up top. I had to keep tugging on it to keep my mammaries covered, and I had inches of extra fabric swimming around my hips. Wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen, when said dress fell all the way to the floor.
The confounded dress was TOO BIG.
This post is part of the series Don’t Mess With the Dress. If this is your first visit to the series, please click here to go back to the beginning, go here for the second installment and click here for the third installment.
HA! Wardrobe malfunction, indeed!
Hugs,
Kathy
I’m not complaining, Kathy. Not at all.
A good problem to have, perhaps spray paint in the spirit of Sports illustrated.
Oh my. I think our town is too small for me to get away with body paint, Lou.
You. Freakin. Go. Girl.
I am very happy with this lifestyle change.
Perhaps large wads of kleenex?
Seriously – forget the clothes – congrats on sticking to the program.
I suppose I could stuff the top, Robert. And, thank you. It hasn’t always been easy, but it has been worth it.
You need an alterations person. Not bigger boobs.
You’ve not hit upon the problem that keeps many of today’s plastic surgeons in business. How many of the movie stars we all enjoy watching have boy hips and large bosoms? And it’s because they’ve been to the plastic surgeon.
Celebrate and visit the alterations shop. There’s a really good one on Hwy. 61 run by a Korean family. They did some work on a sport coat for Bill and it was perfect.
Now hit upon…
Send me their info. MTM’s custom suits from Thailand no longer fit him, either.
Well, I went to look them up on Google and they had one really bad review…so, I’m not too sure…And The Dressing Room in Downtown Charleston is now closed.The name of the place is New York Tailors on Hwy 61.
I will check into them and see what I can find out. Thank you.
What a beautiful color for you. Gorgeous! I’m sure not many would complain with your wardrobe malfunction, but…
I’m anxious to see what you end up purchasing as your reward. Why recycle when you’ve promised yourself a beautiful dress as a pat on the back?
You are SO RIGHT, Lori. I deserve something new, though the cosmos does not seem to agree…….
I love, love, love that color and the combination of the floral colors makes brings it to another level. What a fun series to read, Andra, though I’m sure it has been a bit exasperating for you as you seek your just reward for all your dieting efforts.
Shopping exasperates me, Penny. But, I will not give up.
I just read the comments from yesterday (yes, I am a day behind) and I DO know somewhere to have a dress made. The ladies at The Dressing Room not only do alterations, they will sew a custom frock just for you. Of course, they are probably not open anymore. They used to be just on upper King near a Roly Poly franchise.
I believe they ARE still there, Jill. You used to frequent them, didn’t you? I seem to remember that.
Yes. They did all my alterations until I found Maria over in S. Windemere (she was closer to my house). Molly at the Dressing Room made a couple of dresses for me. It was not terribly expensive if I remember correctly.
Andra, I am enjoying your adventure in finding a new dress and it’s always better that your old clothes are too big rather than too small.
That’s very true, Howard.
AUGH!! Exactly the opposite of the desired effect. But you can take it to a tailor and get that fixed if you love it.
That’s what I’ll probably do, Jessie. It is too pretty not to wear it.
Gorgeous color! Totally get it taken in. And really, isn’t it fun to be able to say “Oh, I’m taking all these clothes to the tailor — they really need to be TAKEN IN.”
I don’t know if I’ll ever have the nerve to do it, Annabelle, but that would be one way to make sure I don’t gain the weight back.
That is one gorgeous dress! I agree with Annabelle…get thee to a tailor! I can imagine you looking spectacular in this dress. And good for you for creating such a big problem–a dress too large!
I have more, but I’ve just been wearing them big.
Oh, for such a problem! Well done, woman.
I have to make it stick, though. That’s almost harder.
Shrunken bosoms. helluva problem.
Can you get it altered?
I had to get it altered when I bought it, but I’m sure someone can do it again.
Beautiful color. I think you should wear it just as it is!
Then maybe your “Accidental Cootchie Mama” title might be replaced with, well, a different “accidental” title.
I don’t need any more accidental titles.
How satisfying! Proof that NOTHING tastes as good as THIN feels.
Very true, Nancy.
Oh, I love that dress, but I love the too big part more. I just discovered your series after a visit to Jessie’s blog, and I love it, too. I’m waiting to become too small for some of the in-between pieces in my wardrobe.
My own weight loss journey began during the Chicago heat wave last summer which crashed my appetite. (It’s come back with a vengeance, but the amount of loss so far has been holding while I figure out what to do next.) My body seems to redistribute its weight every few weeks or so, taking inches from my chest first (?!), and then my behind (which needed fewer inches, so that’s all right), and depositing them on my stomach.
The human body is a weird thing.
Thanks for following the link from Jessie’s blog. I always love to meet new blogging buddies.
I recognize your progression. My body has behaved (or misbehaved) in a similar fashion. Congrats to you for sticking to it. That, to me, is the hardest part.
If I bothered to iron it before I put it on… I love you!