Baby It’s Butt Cold Outside
When my lungs ache. When my glasses fog. When my nostrils freeze shut. When my appendages cease blood flow to the point of gangrene. When my face won’t move. When I make little noises to force polar air into my block-of-ice body.
When MTM breathes deep and cackles, “This cold is nothing. NOTHING!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!” When he beats his chest like Tarzan, only it doesn’t hurt because his chest is encased in a Swedish Army issue wool coat from 1945. When he skates down the icy sidewalk, while I cling to a drainpipe in horror, until I can barely peel myself from said drainpipe, because my whole body has become stuck like “A Christmas Story.“
When I notice the wintry quality of the light. When I breathe out and watch the steam disappear against the halo of the northern sun. When I see a man jogging uphill in a Santa hat and green long underwear. When I catch fat snowflakes on my tongue and delight in the dandruff they make on my shoulders and in my hair.
A decade of Christmases in Montreal, and I am never happy to leave. Always, I want to linger one more day. Tarry a little longer. Taste one more dish. See one more spectacle.
Maybe that’s the secret to returning to a place.
It never feels complete.
But.
It is also butt cold where we’re headed. The land of Miller High Life and Harley Davidson, Friday Fish Fry and frozen custard. The polar midwestern landscape that spawned dear MTM.
“When my lungs ache. When my glasses fog. When my nostrils freeze shut. When my appendages cease blood flow to the point of gangrene. When my face won’t move.”, these are a few of my favorite things, and I don’t feel so bad.
Now sing it proud Missy Frosty.
It is fun for a few days every year, Lou. I don’t think I could live in it, though.
Looks very, very pretty. And way to damn cold. But certainly somewhere made more enjoyable, and memorable, by a partner to cuddle with.
My thumbs almost froze yesterday. But, my nostrils still have not frozen shut.
I panicked a little. I’m from Tennessee so when it flurries or gets below 50 we’re bred to wig out a bit. Wishing you fun and mittens, woman!
My mittens work well. I only use them on this trip.
Sounds marvelous!
Do you have snow? Montreal is getting walloped today, now that we are leaving.
We got a wet dusting last night, but it’s rained for about 12 hours now, so that’s long gone.
Great portrait. It sounds an amazing Christmas. Enjoy.
I hope you had a lovely Christmas, Roger.
That photograph of you both looks like a beautiful portrait, Andra.
So pleased you are both having such a great time.
It was a lovely decade marker, Kate. Peaceful and wintry.
Brrrr. Good thing you can cuddle to stay warm…you know what they say to help hypothermia…right?
Lots of cuddling.
Naked cuddling….must be naked…it’s a hypothermia requirement…skin on skin…
I guess I should have said “..to help stave off hypothermia…”
Sounds like a winter wonderland to me, Andra. WE haven’t a speck of snow here. Not a flake. Ah, but we are headed up to the Land of 10,000 Lakes for part two of Christmas. Maybe we will pass you and MTM on the road along the way.
If you have the urge to get off at Random Lake, Wisconsin, Penny, I would be happy to give you directions to give you a hug.
Safe travels.
Have fun. Methinks you’ll get your snow
Today. It is a white out today.
Great pics… especially the last one!
Thanks, Ted.
Awesome photos and story as always. Loved the picture of you and MTM with blushed faces because it is so cold there. I am happy for you two. Have fun and be safe.
I wouldn’t last 5 minutes before heading indoors for the fire.
I honestly feel a little stunted…I have never experienced even one minute in a climate zone like you describe…or where you’re headed next! I don’t know if I would even survive, quite frankly…I’m awfully spoiled and untested. LOL! You do present it all with glamor and sense of adventure. Your photos do show a winter wonderland! oxo