Waiting To Be Laid Low
In the future, I predict someone will write an excruciating tale about waiting. About a man or several waiting for another man to show his face. To enlighten their gathering. To enrich their discourse.
Perhaps to win at bloody cards.
I could scribble that tale tonight. From the pub. High-and-mighty Clive Read is here, mopping his red face with a soiled kerchief. “I swear it. When that Spanish pig gets here, I’m going to erase my losses from last week. I’ll win back my land, and then some.”
“From the prophet even unto the priest every one dealeth falsely.” The Vicar slurs scripture from the crook of his arm resting on the table.
Read’s bulbous fist rocks the table, scattering cards through the heavy air. ”Are you calling me a thief, you drunken excuse for a clergyman?”
“Be not drunk with wine……zzzzzzzzzzz.”
“All right. All right. Enough. It’s clear to me that the Spaniard is not coming……Will you STOP waving that sodding thing in my face?” I swat the black master of voodoo.
“Da root. Everbody at dis table in need of da root.“
The barkeep slaps the proffered dirt into an unseen corner. ”Boy there. I forbid anymore of this witchcraft nonsense in my establishment.” He turns to me. “Where is your pirate friend?”
Read gasps. “Manuel is a swashbuckler? Of course, I always knew he enjoyed swashing the ladies buckles but……hehehehehehehe. Good fellow. I must spend more time with him.”
I swallow bile. “But, surely if Manuel is a pirate, he is at sea. Wreaking whatever havoc it is pirates……wreak.”
The barkeep shakes his head. “Everyone knows his ship. It has been docked at N Adgers Wharf all week.”
Read’s belly jiggles. “Nadgers……….you know, in the old country, nadgers were another word for……”
“Balls. Yes, I remember.” Playing cards with Read is a wallow in unimaginable filth.
“He that hath his privy member cut off shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord.”
“Thank you, Vicar. I shall keep that bit of information in mind.” I check my sugar stick and turn to the barkeep. “When was the last time anyone saw the Spaniard?”
“Why, when you won Middlesex from Read there. One week ago tonight.”
I shrug to mask the blooming tremor in my heart. “If the Spaniard is a pirate, he is willing to live and die by his code. Read, deal the cards. The game shall go on without him.”
A Charleston series. The first post in the series is here, the second post is here, the third post is here, the fourth post is here, the fifth post is here, the sixth post is here, the seventh post is here, the eighth post is here, the ninth post is here and the tenth post is here. Thank you for reading.
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Shiver me timbers! Ye really know how to tell a tale there lady! I am so enjoying this…wondering what will happen next. Me likes the pirate. Me hopes he survives…
I love this line: “…I always knew he enjoyed swashing the ladies buckles but…”
But this line: “Read’s bulbous fist rocks the table, scattering cards through the heavy air.” was wonderfully descriptive and unique. loved it.
Wrangling all these people isn’t easy. Whew. I’m enjoying the challenge, though.
AAARRRRGGGGGHHH. Matey, shiver me timbers.
Oh Lawd, Lou.
Nadgers! You said “nadger”.
Glad this was just a tale on intrigue. I was fearing that “waiting to be laid low” meant you were coming down with another cold or something.
Now, back to the seedy underbelly.
I still have the same cold.
An Englishman taught me the word ‘nadger.’ Under the Charleston sign that read ‘N Adgers Wharf,’ as a matter of fact.
OH my. I’m enjoying da root and the Vicar most of all in these moments. There’s hilarity there. And that pirate is going to be a problem.
The Vicar is my favorite so far, Jessie.
N. Adgers. Nadgers… that is funny on so many levels…Love it.
I am too innocent for my own good.
Andra, I feel you need to give Clive’s character a bit more flesh. Remember, he is a strict atheist (will not say grace before dinner), hates the monarchy (regards them as Germans), he is a mimic, has a very furtive mind and is easily amused by watching people. He is also a cross dresser, remember the pantomime?
All duly noted, Alan.
The vicar is great! He knows his scripture! I really am a product of Hollywood influence, I think. I tend to see your characters with the eye of a casting agent. I won’t share the faces I fill in so as not to sway a moment of your own creation, but I think it tells me how easily I get into the story and enjoy the characters!
I’m glad you’re liking them, Debra. It isn’t easy to give a reader enough to fill in details without writing a bunch of description. I’ve been working on that for a while now.
My editor tells me that my writing is cinematic. I think that’s great, in that there’s money in selling stories for film. However, I almost never see a movie from a book that I read, because I never like the movie as well as the book. In some cases, (Water for Elephants) I downright hated the movie where I loved the book. So, it’s tricky.
I know what you mean about the movies never satisfying like the original. I always prefer the book. But it does interest me to hear your editor’s comment, because I have absolutely thought the same thing, with each story. I think it should at minimum encourage you to know how much your style of writing is pleasing for that very reason–the richness in character visualization.
Great piece of nadgers research there, Andra
Taught by a proper Englishman.
Brilliant stuff and topped off, as Kate says with nadgers! Sure that vicar married me!
This post from Michael Quinion ( http://www.worldwidewords.org/articles/nadgers.htm ) long pre-dates my subscription to World Wide Words, but he actually researched “nadgers” to some lengthy extent. My education continues.
Loving that you’ve worked a pirate into the tale.
The word ‘nadgers’ is a great memory for me. I won’t elaborate. It’s nothing dirty, just a very funny moment in my life.
SO many clever bits. I love your witty repartee!
Thank you.