What a Not Wonderful World
As a writer, it may seem like I’m fearless. I show up here every day, after all. I put things out there.
Here’s a little secret, though: It’s easy to write a blog post and give it away for free. I don’t have to worry about how anyone takes it or whether enough people read. I just tee it up and swing. The ball lands wherever it does.
And, I really don’t care.
In reality, I am the biggest scaredy-cat I know. For years, people have encouraged me to put together an anthology of this blog and sell it as a book. They’ve told me to self-publish my first (never to be seen by light of day) novel.
I sabotage every effort out of fear.
I cannot control the outcome, what YOU think of the thing. Fear of failure paralyzes me.
The same thing almost happened again. The lovely Cameron Garriepy invited me to participate in an all-female anthology of Halloween stories. Months and months ago. I think it was still early Spring.
Of course, I said yes.
But, as the months dragged on, I wavered. Could I write something that would be good enough? Would anyone read it? Did I have the chops to be included with the likes of some of these uber-talented women?
Almost, I didn’t hand over my story. Out of fear. Because, let’s face it, people who crave control are the most fearful people on earth.
In the end, I’m glad she took it late and saved me from the paralysis of my own horror. Maybe I should’ve written that story instead.
Have you ever almost not done something but been glad you did?