Make a Memory is a movement, a challenge to turn I wish I had into I’m glad I did in 2015.
Reach out and claim an adventure this year. Make a Memory before it’s too late.
The internet is a weird, weird world. Through its portal, I’ve met best friends, networked the world and found enough minutiae to walk the Natchez Trace.
Canadian Darcie Cameron introduced me to Jenn Sutkowski. When I read her writing, I knew she would be perfect for Make a Memory. We’re all fortunate she said yes. I love people who can write, draw, sing AND play the ukelele, all while making me smell good.
Please enjoy Jenn’s moving contribution to Make a Memory.
When I was in my mid-twenties my mother, Jeanne, was dying of cancer.
There are more delicate ways to put that (and I have) but that’s just the truth of it. I was between finishing my course work for graduate school and writing my thesis and living in Massachusetts, while most of my family resided (and still reside) in New Jersey. I was also singing in a wedding band and had a serious longterm relationship that ended. So I picked up and went to New Jersey to be with my family, as did my Granny — my Mom’s Mom — who lived in Upstate New York. Bunny made the best pies and used to feed hobos during the Depression.
There are so many memories I could tell you about from that time….
Like I knew this would be the last this and the last that with my mother. Everything was crystalized in that way — even getting coffee from the cart at the hospital with my sisters. But one really simple thing that stands poignantly in my mind is sitting with my Granny in the guest room where she was staying, watching “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire,” sipping sweet, sweet Crème de Pêche liqueur, which I found in the back of my parents’ liquor cabinet, out of tiny depression glass cordial glasses. I got these glasses as a kid at the antique store behind my family’s favorite Sunday restaurant and finally they had a purpose.
Bunny and I laughed a lot and we needed it. It only took a couple cordial glasses full of the Crème de Pêche to warm us up — my grandmother being under five feet. But she was exhausted, as you might imagine, from taking care of her very ill daughter. I slept in that guest room in the other twin bed many nights, too. A full-grown woman pulling a Puffalump stuffed animal off the baker’s rack that held all of my childhood dolls, and climbing into a bed next to my Granny.
In a way neither of us was really taking time out of our lives — this was our life at the time.
But it means so much to me now. When I was a teenager my grandmother absolutely thought I was spoiled: “When she’s sixteen she’s going to be impossible,” Bunny said to my mother. So it was a tremendous gift to hear later that the time she spent with me taking care of my Mom — and drinking that Crème de Pèche — was something she cherished, too, and made her think I was a strong woman with good character and that I had helped her.
It was something bright and bolstering during a very dark time.
You can find Jenn Sutkowski loving goofy optimism, generosity, at www.jennsutkowski.com and @jennsutkowski. She is working on her first book and living in Cambridge, Massachusetts with her husband and cat.
Photo credits: jennsutkowski.com.
Read Not Without My Father. Be inspired to grab a loved one and Make a Memory in 2015. The Huffington Post calls Not Without My Father “one literary ride you don’t want to miss!”
Click to read a sample of Not Without My Father
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34 Comments
how beautiful
I was tickled with Jenn’s submission, Beth.
Thanks so much, Beth!
Wow. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?
I’ll soon be making memories with my parents when I visit them next week!
I hope you’ll share the fun times, Linda. 🙂
Thank you, L. Marie! Hope your time with your parents is wonderful.
We are our stories.
We are. We definitely are.
I agree wholeheartedly, Jim.
It really IS a small world! How wonderful to find Jenn on your site; she is such a talented lady-and we’d lost touch. Thank you Andra!
btw have you chosen the cast you’d like for the movie version of NWMF?
So glad you were able to reconnect with Jenn by finding her here. One of my favorite things about the online world. 🙂
Movie version??? Ha, I’d love that, but I have no idea, other than Bill Murray as my dad.
What a teeny tiny world!
a very lovely & touching memory, Jenn.
Love it!
I’m really tickled with these submissions. It’s great that people are stepping up.
Thanks, Michael!
A beautiful memory and I love the quote “In a way neither one of us was taking time out of our lives – this was our life at the time. Something I need to remind myself of frequently.
Living life in the moment is one of the best ways to Make a Memory. I remind myself of that at least a hundred times a day.
Thank you, Lisa. I need to remind myself, too.
I, too, love that quote, Lisa. This post made me cry; it hit too close to home. Thanks for sharing this, Andra.
You’re welcome. I hope readers are liking these posts. It’s hard to gauge what’s touching people right now, because I’ve changed things up somewhat.
Sorry to make you cry, Karen. But I’m glad it touched you. I wish you warmth and brightness during what you have going on, too.
Oh, it went on and is long over, but the older I get and the more I read of others’ lives and realize how much we sometimes, unknowingly, have in common . . . Thanks, though, Jenn. I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve, and it frequently leaks. 🙂
Me too, me too, Karen. I’ve got a leaking sleeve-heart, too. 😉
Thanks for sharing this.
You’re welcome, John.
Thanks for reading it, John.
Thank you so much for including me here, Andra! It was such a special opportunity to remember this time with my grandmother and get to appreciate it again for myself, too. I think that’s part of what’s great about your “Make a Memory” movement that people might not expect — not only do you get to make that memory but then writing about it allows you to savor it and have it to reflect on and share with people.
Jenn, the savoring part is so important. I’m glad you got a little more time with your grandmother through writing this piece. It’s clearly having an impact on people. I hope some of them will come back and share what Memory you inspired them to Make. xo
Special Internet moments! 😉
I am so pleased that you were both able to connect and Jenn was able to share her touching story. Such a beautiful memory – it brought to tears to my eyes.
You were the catalyst, Darcie. Thanks so much for featuring Jenn on your site.
I’m the worst website reply-er. Ha! “Special Internet moments” was supposed to be in response to connecting through Darcie.
Thank you, Darcie! XO
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