During our last episode of F’ed Up Fantasy Family, I reported the gift of an iPad to my aging parents. They wanted access to FaceTime in a purported bid to follow new-ish extended family members.
I was convinced they would use FaceTime while naked.
I pondered the brain-bleaching consequences of Naked FaceTime With Aging Parents. For hours. And days. Experts claim one can banish worry by imagining the worst possible thing that can happen.
THAT ISN’T EFFING TRUE.
I haven’t slept since I gave my parents an iPad. Thanks to you, Dear Reader, I’ve imagined every conceivable scenario of shriveled, wrinkled, toilet-ridden, butt-dialing parental FaceTime nakedness. I had to do something to relieve the pressure, to rid myself of shrieking every time my iPhone/iPad/MacBookAir brayed another FaceTime request.
I decided to be the first Naked FaceTimer.
I would beat them at their own game.
If I called my parents from the bathtub, surely they would see how ridiculous I looked, and they wouldn’t try to copy me.
Here I am, FaceTiming my mother from the sanctuary of my guest bathroom.
(I’m the naked one in the upper right-hand corner, not the naked one taking up most of the screen.)
Sigh.
I guess she showed me.
*******
Read What Happened When I Gave My Parents an iPad HERE.
32 Comments
OH Andra, you make me giggle. Your mom certainly won this battle, but I think the war is still on the table my friend. 😉
I can’t do this anymore. She will beat me every time.
I need a bigger picture! Or at least the ability to pan the camera. Damn this antiquated technology.
You’re a perv, Carnell.
You guys are such a HOOT – ha! I needed a good laugh today – thanks so much for that 🙂 The level of competition in your household is no holds bar with a lot of nakedness going on.
We’ve always been pretty competitive. I need to let her win.
You are a good sport in letting her win 🙂
Between 5 and 6 AM (and whenever else I can get away with it), the only time I’m NOT naked is when we have house guests. But then, I’m an aging parent. Hmm. Coincidence?
Probably not. 🙂
Well, my face is naked, too, 24/7 unless I’m going out somewhere! 🙂
I will die if the NSA has the ability to see more than what’s showing on the screen. That’s all I’m saying.
Just don’t try this from your car! http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/Charge-Naked-Vashon-driver-tried-to-bribe-cop-6375544.php?cmpid=fbsocialflow
There’s a Hawkeye quote from M*A*S*H that goes something like: “Parents, right when you think you’ve figured them out, they turn around and love you.” Couldn’t help but think of it while reading this post. Very funny.
I’ll never figure my parents out, I’m afraid.
How does that saying go, Andra… ‘If you can’t beat them, join them’…!? I think you’ve tried to coin a new version here – if you can’t beat them, beat them to it… but see, they were one step ahead of you all along!
Great post!
They’re always ahead of me, Tom.
You should know never to think you can outfox the fox. 😉
You’re so right, Lori. You’re so right.
Well, this is one way of turning an iPad into one of the bare necessities of life … Funny, indeed! 🙂
Bare necessities……ahahahahahahaha!
Funny stuff. You are in the tub and mom is sitting on what???
She’s sitting in her bed, which happens to be my old bed……which makes this ickier.
Ha ha ha
boom.
She always trumps me.
Punk’d by your own mama! I knew this was going to be good!
She always one-ups me.
I think it’s time to think about writing a book about your mother, Andra! She’s pretty clever! 🙂
next time wait for her to get read to call and be in like a speaking engagement and tell everyone to clap for your naked mom, and then when she pops up on the screen have it pointed at the audience and they all clap and it will be glorious.
Yer as bonkers as each other. Don’t call your dad…
Oh man! You’re both hilarious! I so love your family!
Mother knows best…
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