During our last episode of F’ed Up Fantasy Family, I reported the gift of an iPad to my aging parents. They wanted access to FaceTime in a purported bid to follow new-ish extended family members.

I was convinced they would use FaceTime while naked.

I pondered the brain-bleaching consequences of Naked FaceTime With Aging Parents. For hours. And days. Experts claim one can banish worry by imagining the worst possible thing that can happen.


I haven’t slept since I gave my parents an iPad. Thanks to you, Dear Reader, I’ve imagined every conceivable scenario of shriveled, wrinkled, toilet-ridden, butt-dialing parental FaceTime nakedness. I had to do something to relieve the pressure, to rid myself of shrieking every time my iPhone/iPad/MacBookAir brayed another FaceTime request.

I decided to be the first Naked FaceTimer.
I would beat them at their own game.

If I called my parents from the bathtub, surely they would see how ridiculous I looked, and they wouldn’t try to copy me.

Here I am, FaceTiming my mother from the sanctuary of my guest bathroom.

naked facetime

(I’m the naked one in the upper right-hand corner, not the naked one taking up most of the screen.)


I guess she showed me.


Read What Happened When I Gave My Parents an iPad HERE.

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