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Posts from the ‘Family’ Category

Once Bitten Twice Shy

I blame my father for my third spider bite in July. Same leg. Thigh. Back of knee. Front of thigh, just above the knee.

Dad distracted me, the third time.

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Fucked Up Fantasy Family

I'm not supposed to talk about my brother. No ranting about him to my husband. No skewering him with my friends. Especially no writing about him in public. Most of you didn't even know I had a brother, did you? That's how well I've followed an old directive.

Well. Screw that. Here's to making up for lost time.

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Roy’s Hard Up

Dad is SUPPOSED to be working for me. He's here for dual events to benefit Friends of the Library: a book sale at the Charleston Farmers Market yesterday, and an author appearance at the Charleston County Library's Main Branch on Tuesday, June 24 at 6pm.

While he should have been handing out book cards and chatting people up yesterday, here's what he was apparently doing instead.

A one-sided exchange with my mother. In his own (very cootie-fied) words.

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Rocket Man

Does your family show affection in bizarre ways? My dead grandmother showed her adoration by cracking my toes, usually when I napped on the sofa or was stupid enough to leave a foot on top of the sheet. One of my aunts whispered "I love you" by hacking into my self-esteem, because she didn't want me to become cocky, my ego unmanageable.

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What Would Roy Doo?

The book sale crush dissolved. Only two people in the room. I gathered up my wad of money and my sign-ey pen and got ready to head to the car.

Only we were down a body.

Dad's very large and gassy body.

Mom and I scoured the Kershaw County School District building. Because this was ROY, after all.

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