books

crap

How to Crap When Your Wife’s in the Bathtub

(To honor my parents' fiftieth anniversary, I wrote a post in my father's voice.) Linda and me, we celebrated our golden wedding anniversary yesterday. You know, fifty years. That woman done put up with me fifty years! Naw, I cain't believe it either.

ground

Gone To Ground

A backdraft smacks him in the face when they open the door of the plane. Concentrated heat melts into him, causing his skin to crackle. He can hear it burn as he trudges along the jetway. By the time he makes it to his rented car, he is sweating, but before he can wipe his brow with the back of his hand, the welcome sensation of dewey wetness evaporates into the parched air.

vote goodreads not without my father

Because A Vote For Me Is Better Than The Chump You’d Otherwise Vote For

I'm cross-eyed from screens. A blister bubbles on the tip of my index finger. My patootie hurts from sitting in a chair all day. I spent yesterday in an all-day spotlight on the We Love Memoirs Facebook Group. Answering squishy questions. Posting silly photos. Jumping through every hoop those dear people threw there for me.