Because I took to my blog last week to call the Super Bowl lame, MTM now has more invitations to places with big game watching televisions than he knows what to do with. Places where – people have promised – he can work crossword puzzles while occasionally glancing up at the screen with one eyeball.
He’s petrified that the Packers will do what they always did growing up: let him down in crash-and-burn fashion. And, he will be stuck, unable to leave in disgust at halftime because he made such a big deal out of wanting to see the event just in case the Packers revert to their early Super Bowl glory, to the days before and right after he was born in Wisconsin.
I don’t know what to do with any of this nonsense, so I am making pretzels. Just in case he decides to head to someone’s house to watch the blasted event and needs to take a fattening food item for admission.
While MTM hasn’t shared the inner workings of his Cheesehead with me yet today, I think he is leaning toward making a game-time decision about where to spend it. Or, perhaps he will toss a coin to decide. Armed with enough pretzels to hit several homes, he might just spread some good cheer and work crossword puzzles through the pre-game festivities, too.
I hope no one will throw a penalty flag on all this indecisiveness, but I can promise you this: when he shows up, he will not be wearing a cheesehead hat or come dressed as Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas. He will have puzzles. And pretzels. And – maybe, just maybe – me.
Too Much is Just Enough: A Super Bowl Win for my Cheesehead
Yet, MTM is suddenly fascinated by professional football. He doesn’t care about sports for much of the year, other than the internet subscription to Major League Baseball so that he can listen to Bob Uecker call the Milwaukee Brewers games.
We don’t have a television in our household, and MTM is now frantic. His Green Bay Packers are in the Super Bowl, and he has no means by which to watch the hoopla and hullaballoo that leads up to the big game or the contest itself. Short of going to a sports bar or mooching someone else’s flat screen, he’s S-O-L.
Neither of those options appeal to MTM. The last time he went to a friend’s house to watch a sporting event on television, that friend made much fun of him because he brought a crossword puzzle to work while watching the game. Who watches sports without being glued to the screen? Besides MTM?
Ditto the sports bar. He feels ridiculous taking reading material or puzzles in there with him. If it gets especially rowdy, his concentration for 20-down might be disrupted. And, people will look at him funny.
I have a far better attitude; I just don’t care. I could care less who wins. I will be oblivious to wardrobe malfunctions and national anthem shows and whose commercial was the best.
Okay, that’s not really true. If the Packers do not win, I will have to live with MTM and his life-long love of his almost-home team. When life-long love is squelched, it quickly turns to something else.
And, I just don’t want to live with THAT.
Yes, I admit that I think the Super Bowl is lame. But, what MTM wants isn’t. So, Packer players, pull your cheese heads together over the next week and win for my man, who may not even be able to watch you.