Things People Don’t Need to Find
Okay, this is a rerun of sorts. But, I haven’t done a post like this one in a while, and it is late. I just spent the evening with a woman I’ve known for ten years who I have tons of things in common with and did not manage to figure this out until just now. So, I spent more time working on that tonight than my blog.
Still, the good Googlers of the world did not fail to disappoint me. It is almost 1AM, and I am rabidly checking my blog stats for yesterday. Because this blog has no consistent theme and is about nothing really, I manage to aggregate some, *ahem,* colorful search terms.
Especially given the title.
So, let’s celebrate the preposterous things people spend their time looking up online.
“What is porn?”
Really? Someone on earth doesn’t know what porn is? REALLY? Did this person put this search term into Google to thwart some spouse or partner, to cover their tracks somehow?
“Gave up porn for Lent“
Wow. That’s commendable. How have you been confessing the whole porn thing the rest of the year? Do you fail to mention that when you go? How does that work, exactly?
“Can you snort Batherapy lavender?”
I suppose you can snort pretty much anything you like. But WHY? WHY?
“Why can’t I just marry myself?”
If you are asking this question – seriously – you are the only person who would have you.
“What is sculpture?”
How does Google know what sculpture is? How does anybody? I mean, I think the piles of paper on my desk have a sculptural element, but no art critic would agree with me.
“Amber Deutsch Law”
Amber, someone is looking to hire you. I wish I could tell you how to find them.
“No bathing during Lent”
Dear God. I hope I don’t know who you are, though I can probably smell you from here.
“My mom and dad doing it”
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
“Andra porn”
Oh my stars. Was THAT person disappointed.
Anyone have any interesting/colorful/ridiculous search terms to share?
