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Posts tagged ‘mother-in-law’

Aug 12

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My Mother-in-Law the Butcher of Milwaukee

Today is JMM’s birthday, the woman who birthed the love of my life and nurtured him into the man he has become. She is also known as my Mother-in-Law, the Butcher of Milwaukee.

And, she is going to kill me for telling this MTM-inspired story.

When MTM’s parents divorced, split-up marriages were not typical. With children involved, lots more people suffered together, whether or not that was the best thing for the tykes. MTM’s Mom had five kids, and she was left to manage them on her own.

She pared down, signed up for what assistance she could, and moved the family into what is still a scary section of Milwaukee. A rickety rental house in the center of crime was all she could afford. The 1960′s manual for housewifery did not train her for supporting five children, leaving her with no choice but to go back to school. Between slaving at her jobs, attending classes and studying, she didn’t always have time to be a traditional Mom.

But, she tried.

Studying had to happen late at night, after the kids were all pretending to be asleep. She piled her books and herself on a dilapidated sofa and usually fell asleep teaching herself to teach others. For as long as she could hold her eyes open, she kept one eye on her coursework, and the other on the door, alert for various neighborhood crazies who might decide to break down through the flimsy wood to rob the nothing they had.

Had she known MY Mom back then, she could likely have loaned Joyce a gun to defend herself and her kids in case of assault or attack. Lacking a sophisticated weapon, she chose a meat tenderizer for company. You know that kitchen gadget, with its sleek handle sprouting into a square head of stainless steel punctuated with points around its faces. Perhaps she thought she could put a diamond-shaped hurting on anyone stupid enough to attack her family, or maybe she thought the sight of that meat tenderizer would melt a hard heart. Either way, she slept with that implement of butchery long enough to burn it into MTM’s burgeoning brain. He remembers seeing her sacked out on the sofa, surrounded by books and clutching her meat tenderizer. He thinks it was her bed buddy for years.

Thank you, Joyce, for being such a brilliant, vital example of womanhood to me. Happy Birthday.

Too Much is Just Enough: Strength in Adversity

Nov 9

24 Comments

I Want a Girl Just Like the Girl

Me, between my mom on the left and my mother-in-law on the right.

Do men really marry women who are like their mothers? In at least one respect, MTM surely did.

My mother-in-law Joyce has been staying with us for the past ten days. She’s retired from education, and she divides her time between her home base in Florida, her kids in Wisconsin, her son in Atlanta, and our house. While most people usually complain about their in-laws, I’m extraordinarily lucky. I have the easiest MIL in the world.

Or, perhaps I just like myself. Joyce and I are both strong, opinionated women, though her toughness far exceeds my own. She struck out on her own in the 1960′s with five children, putting herself through college and obtaining a degree in education, long before it was understood that sometimes divorce is infinitely preferable to staying in a treacherous situation. That she reared children who all turned out, more or less, okay while getting a college degree and working two jobs is a testament to the sort of woman she is.

And, I’m not writing that to get anything extra for Christmas.

We share an amusing like quality, though. We both deplore cooking and avoid it wherever possible. One time, MTM left us to our own devices for several days and was appalled to find us scarfing fake lunch meat, frozen box-o-pizza and popcorn. The fewer steps between preparation and our mouths, the better. In fact, I often joke that we only want to eat something that can walk out of the cupboard and into our pie holes without any interim step: no heating; no cutting; to stirring; no nothing.

Last weekend, MTM suggested that Joyce and I head to the grocery store for provisions to feed ourselves while he was working all day. As soon as he was out of ear shot, we looked at each other and said conspiratorially, “Let’s go out to eat and get leftovers for tomorrow!”

And, that’s exactly what we did. We ended up at Monza, with just enough pizza for dinner and a whole box of remains that we would consume for lunch the next day.

No milk for breakfast cereal? No problem. We ate bowls of dry Cap’n Crunch, giggling like little girls at the thought of MTM’s horrified reaction to our laziness. After all, we knew he’d take pity on us and prepare a feast of culinary delights for dinner.

Maybe men really do value that sense of the familiar in a mate. At least, MTM is one man who does.

May 26

5 Comments

Foolproof Pizza from a Fellow Cooking Cilantroer

It is rumored that we seek out our parents and marry them, as this recent blog post from someone with my same last name outlines in detail. In my case, that may be partially true, at least where my husband’s choices are concerned. While my husband is the polar opposite of my father in practically every way, I cilantro cooking, and so does his mother. Eerily, she and I have many things in common. Hmmmmmm. We do get along inexplicably well.

Several years ago, she made a book of recipes for him as a gift. I’m admitting publicly that we make a mere handful of them, because, my husband being my husband, the majority of the tabs are labeled things like “candy,” “treats,” “cookies,” and “desserts.” Maybe in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where he grew up, these sections (and they are each massive) are not the same thing perhaps? I mean, I’ve gotten used to uttering the words “Milwaukee, Wisconsin” and gaining five pounds on the exhale.

All levity aside, her pizza dough recipe is the best I’ve ever had. We make it with olive oil, grated parmesan and steamed clams. Sometimes, we throw on the random herb collection (no cilantro) from the garden. This dough never lets me down. It is too elementary for even me to screw up. Here’s her recipe.

1 package yeast
2/3 cup water, warm not hot
2 cups white wheat flour
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon oil

Dissolve yeast in water. Add flour, salt and oil. Knead on a floured board (I use my Kitchenaid mixer with the dough hook with no difference) until smooth and satiny. Allow to rise until double in bulk, about 2 hours, in a warm place. Spread in a pan that has been greased or sprinkled with corn meal. (We use a pizza stone, no grease and the corn meal.) The thickness desired determines how much the recipe makes. Generally, this recipe would make a pizza the size of a cookie sheet, but quite thin.

Add whatever toppings you want, but olive oil, salt, steamed clams in the shell, grated parmesan and various herbs is a real winner. Bake everything but the clams at 450 until browned to your liking. Cut and add the steamed clams upon removing the rest from the oven. Try not to inhale it.

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