No, I’m not asking a rhetorical question. Can we stay connected? Is it even possible?

Yesterday, I covered a number of troubling trends on the social giant, but we haven’t seen the worst. Facebook is designed to be addictive, but until I started reading quotes from some of its early founders, I had no idea HOW addictive. The LIKE button is a feedback loop, a shot of dopamine for the ego.

Facebook recently blamed users for feeling bad when they scrolled through their newsfeeds. Instead of lurking around posts about vacations, promotions, and successes, they claim we should post more of our own updates. You know, use the site more. Like telling a heroin addict to shoot up more for a better hit. Eventually, enough drug kills the user.

I seriously want to end my toxic relationship with Facebook before I become a mindless Zuckerbot.

But I’ve tried. I’ve tried different platforms. (People simply won’t invest in them. They’d rather stare up Facebook’s gonorrhea-infested asshole for hours every day.) I’ve tried more e-newsletters. (People don’t read them. Hell, I don’t read newsletters, either.) I’ve tried Facebook vacations, where I sometimes don’t log into the site for a month or more. (I miss certain people I only see there.)

We’re more connected than we’ve ever been. Yet, I feel lonelier than I ever have.

But I’m doing something about it.

I’m starting my own social network.

You read that correctly. I’m starting my own network in a place I own and control. In the coming weeks, I’m reaching out to everyone who matters to me, and I’m inviting them to join my social network.

What if nobody joins? Won’t I feel lonesome?


People who care about me will join. Why am I even spending time keeping up with people who don’t? Plus, my social network will be federated with over a million people who’ve done the same thing. Joining my social network will link members with people all over the world who are just as fed up with social-media-as-usual.

And in my social network:

  1. Nobody will be tracking your activity. As long as you follow the rules, you can do whatever you want.
  2. Your personal information will not be sold. Not to advertisers. Not to ANYONE.
  3. The master system bans all of the following content: racism, fascism, overt advertising, harassment, trolling, and intolerance due to sexual orientation.
  4. Political posts can be made with a ‘show more’ feature.
  5. Users can post nudity and other content not suitable for work by using the NSFW button…..because I know everybody I’ll invite will want to post nekkid pictures.

I’ve lost track of the number of people who’ve told me how much they hate Facebook. Well, we can either be lazy and hate it while continuing to feed it. Or, we can find another alternative.


Already know you’d like to give it a try? Send your name and e-mail address to assistant(at)andrawatkins(dot)com. We’ll put you on the list and add you when it’s ready.



2017 wasn’t a great year for many of us, but it was a blistering twelve months for Facebook.

Facebook branded itself as a connector. And when it was first embraced by the adult population, it operated to enhance our lives. I found people I hadn’t seen in decades, reached out to family members, and gave readers the ability to talk with me whenever they liked.

I remember when everything started to change.

With outside encouragement, I spent money to optimize my Facebook author page. The week we rolled it out, Facebook introduced their earliest algorithm. They removed the ability of page admins to see who was liking our pages. They started shrinking options for contacting our connections.

Finally, they introduced the opportunity for us to PAY. If we wanted people who’d chosen to see our posts to actually see them, we could PAY. They wanted us to pay to boost each post. And what do you know? Facebook recommended that pages make at least five a day. Additional advertising opportunities cost even more money. Every time I turned around, Mark Zuckerberg was putting his billionaire hands in my meager savings.

Even more frustrating? Facebook limits personal reach.

People post everything on Facebook and assume their connections see it. WRONG. Facebook’s current algorithm limits how many of our individual posts hit the newsfeed. By their own admission, they reward use. In a recent article in The Guardian, their leadership actually said people should use their platform more if they want to feel better.

Other troubling tidbits about Facebook?

  1. Former FB executive Chamath Palihapitiya said on the record that sites like Facebook are tearing society apart.
  2. According to Ex-FB President Sean Parker, FB is made to exploit human vulnerability.
  3. Tech insiders who had a hand in creating the platforms we now use admit our minds can be hijacked.
  4. Facebook was found to be routing advertising revenue through Ireland as part of the Paradise Papers investigation. What that means? They were paying almost no income tax on it.
  5. The Russians purchased advertising through FB and set up numerous fake accounts, impacting our last presidential election.
  6. FB follows every click you make on their site. Every like. Every hover. If you use the app on your phone, they record everywhere you go. Every store. Every doctor’s appointment. If you use FB Messenger, they record everything you say and compile it to sell to advertisers. NOTHING YOU DO IS PRIVATE.


If you’re interested in what I’m planning to do to stay connected to people I care about, tune in tomorrow.


Facebook Admits It Poses Mental Health Risk – But Says Using Site More Can Help – The Guardian, December 17, 2017

Former Facebook Executive: Social Media Is Ripping Society Apart – The Guardian, December 17, 2017

Ex-Facebook President Sean Parker: Site Made to Exploit Human Vulnerability – The Guardian, November 9, 2017

Our Minds Can Be Hijacked: The Tech Insiders Who Fear a Smartphone Dystopia – The Guardian, October 5, 2017

Facebook Criticized For Responses on Russia and Brexit – The Guardian, December 13, 2017

And if you don’t have my books, GET THEM HERE.


Last week, I read an interesting article in The Guardian about tech industry founders who are stepping back from social media and the smartphone. Many of them claim constant connectivity is rotting our brains.

Read “Our Minds Can Be Hijacked: The Tech Insiders Who Fear Smartphone Dystopia.

I BELIEVE THEM. The pressure to stay constantly connected, to respond to every comment, to acknowledge every message, to interact faster and wittier than anyone……well, it’s crushing.

I do nothing well.

So over the weekend, I pretended it was 2005. Social media didn’t exist. I spent a weekend without the computer or multiple devices.

It. Was. Hard.

But here’s what I did with my time instead of surfing and scrolling and staring.

1. Slept in.
2. Had sex.
3. Attended two separate yoga classes totaling 3 hours because zen.
4. Ate tater tots at Mercantile and Mash with MTM because yoga.
5. Shopped at Costco because the cupboards were bare.
6. Admitted to buying a rose gold sequin skirt I didn’t need and hiding it from MTM. Wondered whether it still fits because of tater tots.
7. Finished The Templars by Dan Jones because I had two hours uninterrupted to read.
8. Worked a word puzzle in the NY Times because I wanted to beat MTM to it.
9. Ate 2 brunches with MTM because he made quiche.
10. Cooked 2 dinners at home with MTM because we had so much food.
11. Cleaned those neglected things in the kitchen because I slowed down enough to notice them.
12. Went to buy vegetables at the Lowcountry Food Bus.
13. Had drinks at Harold’s Cabin because they had a new sofa.
14. Took a nap because I could.

Do you hate me yet?

15. Read the Sunday NY Times with MTM over coffee because we used to spend most Sundays sharing the paper and coffee.
16. Folded laundry.
17. Locked the Roomba in our bedroom because the floor was filthy.
18. Dusted.
19. Ate chocolate.
20. Saw Blade Runner 2049 with MTM because Harrison Ford.
21. Discussed Blade Runner 2049 with MTM.
22. Researched flights to Kazakhstan, the closest I got to working.
23. Actually found myself bored.
24. Looked up recipes for red beans and rice because I had a craving.

As a result of taking it easy, I’ve already tackled my entire to do list for the week and have more clarity and energy than I’ve had on a Monday in ages. I’m grateful for my old fashioned, memory-making weekend, because it gave me a great shot of positivity!!

What about you? How do you give yourself a break from constant connectivity?