Ripped Guy at Dick’s: Welcome to Dick’s Sporting Goods! Can I help you find something specific?
Me: Um……ah…….mumblemumblemumble.
RGAD: I’m sorry? What was that?
Me: MUMBLEMUMBLE.
RGAD: (Nervous laugh) Sorry. Still didn’t get that.
Me: I’M LOOKING FOR A JOCK STRAP!
(Every eye in the store zeroes in on me.)
Me: I mean. I’M not looking for one. I don’t need it. Um. (Cackling, crazy laughter.) It’s for my husband. HUSBAND. HE needs it.
RGAD: Core Supporters are this way, Ma’am.
Me: (More crazy lady laughter.) Oh? THAT’S what they’re called?
RGAD: Yes Ma’am. Here we are.
Me: (Staggering.) But…….but……..Good God, there are THIS MANY different ones?
RGAD: Well, yes. Some guys like firmer support. Some go for breathability. You know.
Me: No. I DON’T know. I told you it isn’t for me.
RGAD: Did your, um, HUSBAND, tell you what he likes?
Me: That’s none of your business.
RGAD: Okay. Okay. I’m just going to leave you to it. If you need any help, I’ll be on my lunch break. (Disappears.)
Me: Who – WHO – would buy a hot pink cup with glitter? WHO? And, all I see is cups. Thin cups. Fat cups. Long cups. Deep cups. All CUPS. NO STRAPS………….A PEE-WEE MODEL???? Seriously? They have one called the Pee-Wee? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
RGAD: (Materializes next to me.) Ma’am, um, you are being a little disruptive. Um. Here’s a strap in size large. Will that work for your husband?
Me: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
RGAD: Great! Let me walk you to the register and get you out of here.
Me: (Drying my eyes.) You can bet I’ll never call MTM again and ask him to pick up a box of TAMPONS on his way home.
69 Comments
The Shock Doctor.
Very funny! It’s fun to put one on your head for optimum disruption.
Roxanne, I will take your word for it…….
Oh no, I said “head.” That wasn’t ladylike.
But it was funny…….
This one made me laugh out LOUD! Wonderful post, Andra. Truly, my friend, this is hilarious!
Hugs,
Kathy
Hope it made you feel a little better, Kathy.
Welcome to our world Andra. My cup runneth over….but then I am a terrible liar.
Hahahahaha!
Core Supporter??!! No guy would ever sat that with a straight face. And here is MTM in the future…
http://youtu.be/oxuNpJuHR88
I can’t believe they’re called core supporters. I mean, my core is my stomach. When I work my core, that’s where it is. Why is the male groin the core???? Oh, never mind……..
Hahahahaha! Too funny! 🙂
Glad it gave you a laugh, Holly.
I. had. no. idea! My boys are all grown and they would never wear them…Lawd!
Well, if you ever have to purchase one for anybody, I can tell you what to do.
I can’t believe that product is so important that they would name the whole store after it.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hahahahaha!!
Awards for best comment of the day??? Howard’s; hands down!! :
I have always wondered why they chose that name. I guess Dick really likes his name or something.
thanks Karen
I want to see a picture of the pink and glitter core supporter. 🙂 Somebody needs to receive this in their Christmas stocking. 🙂 Thanks for the giggle this morning Andra – I needed it after being smacked in the face with the news.
I don’t think I have the strength to go back there. I had nightmares about plastic cups…..
saying smacked in the face on a thread about jock straps at dicks seems like a bad idea, I recommend running and hiding before Carnell sees
I tried to get Carnell to go with me on this errand, but he thought it would be so much funnier if I went by myself.
I really should have gone. And filmed it for YouTube!
You should’ve. I offered.
Andra, I will try to stop by if I can and get a picture of the pink one for you to post on the way home
It was on the top row, on the left-hand side.
Two words for what the pink ones are used for – Magic Mike. Once I attended a bachelorette party where a male stripper was hired. My friend Loraine (may she rest in peace) and I were so embarrassed we ducked out the side door. He had a pink “core supporter” – ugh!
Oh my! I never thought of that possibility, Jill. Makes total sense to me……I guess……..
Oh God! I laughed till I cried! Hahahahaha! I’m still laughing! And sharing this…
Glad you enjoyed it, Elizabeth. 🙂
Nancy and I really should have gone with you. That would have been too much fun. Did they have one for me – would be called “The Locomotive”!! Haahaaa!!!
Hope you are giving MTM the support he needs in these troubled times.
MTM got a big kick out of The Locomotive, Carnell.
Be careful, Locomotive, you might have a Coal Tender tagging along behind you.
Shall I stoke the fires sir….
Stay away from my caboose!!
My eyes! My eyes!
RGAD: Did your, um, HUSBAND, tell you what he likes?
Me: That’s none of your business.
When I got to this point I spit my tea all over my desk. What a riot!
It always makes my day when someone tells me my writing caused them to spit, Debbie. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Giggle.
It was some outing.
Oh my…… poor Andra…. I can see it now. hahahahahahahah too freaking funny. You are a riot for sure Andra….
I am still laughing at one of the links…..
Oh wow how funny!!! True love is the spouse who will buy intimate products.
Yes. MTM’s done it boo-koo times for me. I guess it should’ve been as traumatic as possible when it was my turn.
Yep, I’m still reeling from a shop called Dick’s that it sells jock straps!! Brilliant tale Andra 🙂
Dick’s sells pretty much all sporting goods, Fiona, but me and my potty humor…….I snicker every time I go there.
Pee Wee is for those wee ones in the pee wee league? Oh, who cares, this was too funny for proper words.
Penny, I think that is the case. I’m sure thousands of little boys are scarred for life when their parents bring home the pee-wee size………..
Oh my! I am guffawing in the La. DMV.
Made my day.
A guffaw is a good birthday gift. 🙂 Happy Birthday!
Howled. Just howled with laughter. Our poor spouses, who have been asked to do the equivalent for so long…
It does make me realize how uncomfortable it must be for them….. 🙂
oh how I wish I’d been in the store!
Sidey, if you had been there, at least you could’ve laughed with me. It was too funny not to have company.
how sad to be on your own, shaking with the giggles and no one to share it with ;-(
This was the best I could do. 🙂
it was fun 😉
{wiping tears from my eyes} BAHAHAHAHAH!
So glad to share, Megan. I laughed until my face hurt.
Um, yeah, I have to go there:
I’ll bet there are a lot of guys who wished they had something for the Pee-Wee that was 18″-22″ – hey, that’s just what the sign says!! 😉
Hahahaha!
This was really funny, Andra! Core supporters, eh? Never heard that one! I think you made Mr. Dick uncomfortable with the laughter because he is self-conscious in “that” area! 🙂 D
I know we women have a lot of options for support, but I was pretty blown away by the variety for guys. 🙂
I always suspected that was what guys considered to be core but it’s nice to have confirmation.
Haha!
RGAD: Did your, um, HUSBAND, tell you what he likes?
Me: That’s none of your business.
hahahahahahahaha
MTM is a good, um, “sport”
He really liked this one, too. Buying that thing was mortifying.
This is too funny! I’ve yet to send Brian for tampons…maybe I should. I’d probably get a Gchat photo…”this one?”
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