Thank you to everyone who supported my brother and my parents during our recent crisis. Since I shared my brother’s situation, I’ve tried to respect his privacy.
I write about him today
because he could use continued encouragement.
A person may walk away from a suicide attempt. He may be told his body processed an overdose without any negative long-term impact to his overall health. He may hear over and over again, in therapy and at home, how much he matters.
He hasn’t given up. Doctors are adjusting his course of treatment. Next week, he’ll be evaluated for a program we both believe will help him heal.
Whether you’re the praying sort or the positive thoughts sort,
please reserve a space for him.
The mind is a tricky thing. It usually fixates on whether or not a life matters to specific people. When those people don’t care about a life, it’s easy to believe no one does.
Every life matters. Every. Life. Whether an individual thinks he matters is irrelevant. Every. Life. Matters. If you know my brother, once knew my brother, or are a stranger with a few seconds, I know he would appreciate that message in the coming days.
Thank you again to everyone who contacted my parents, my brother, and me. Thank you for the cards, letters, calls, visits, and messages of encouragement and hope. Thank you for the continued requests for additional information. While I don’t want to make multiple posts about a private matter, I believe it’s important to acknowledge the efforts of so many people. Thank you. Thank you. And thank you again.
30 Comments
Beautifully stated. And so true. Hard thing is trying to convince someone that they matter, when they don’t matter to themselves. I can speak only for myself and I can say that if it weren’t for the fact that my children will never be loved by anyone else more than me, and the fact that I know they would be mad at me, this has kept me here. I don’t understand this world filled with not such great things, and I attempt to look to only the positive. I don’t have magic words for your brother, you, or your parents, but I can send support and I can tell you that you make a difference to me, and if you, an initial stranger, can make a positive difference in my life then perhaps I can make a positive difference in someone’s life. Your brother has impacted my life. I strive harder. I will continue to send him cards that say what I want to say, what, perhaps, I would like to know myself. Thank you for the update Andra. My message? Carry on.
He’s commented several times about what your messages mean to him. My mother has, as well. Thank you so much for taking time to care about a stranger. It helps to know one isn’t alone. My life is richer because both you and he are in it. xo
Andra
Please tell Neil that his life matters! Tell your mom and dad I’m praying for them and I’m here if they even would like I could go see Neil and talk to him and give him words of encouragement. Neil is a special guy. Satan has a way of making us believe otherwise. I almost believed that lie once in my life. God is good and has many plans for Neil life. Giving God total control and surrounded by God’s people there is no room for the lies of the devil. When Neil gets on his feet I would encourage him to go be apart of the RU ministry at FBT. It is one of the best programs at the c hurch. I was apart of it for years and played many roles. I think Neil would really benefit and be a living testimony to us all. Tell him I said hello and would be glad to come be his friend again.
I’ll make sure he sees this, Christy. He’s spending this weekend with us. Thank you.
I have walked this road with my 18 year old son. It breaks my heart to think that anyone feels that they do not matter to this world, especially when it is someone so obviously loved, yet the darkness they are in is so complete they cannot see the love and the love does not reach them there. Please tell your brother that no matter how dark and how lonely he feels, the light is there. Just continue. It will find you, we will find you. You matter to this world, your life and the imprint you are making here is invaluable to all of us who share this time here with you. You are invaluable to me. I will pray for you each and every time the Lord brings you to my mind. I will shine my light in the hopes that it will reach you and you will see and find a path out of your darkness.
We had this talk several times over the weekend. I hope and pray it will reach him when the darkness finds him again.
Please give your brother a big hug from us Andra and then turn around and give one to yourself as well. Every life does matter, every day is important and when these words seem like they don’t ring true anymore that’s the red flag warning that it’s time to reach out for help. Take care.
I gave him a big hug over the weekend. Wasn’t always easy. His latest meds don’t agree with him, and he was sick much of the time he was here. It’s hard to contemplate living when the meds make a person feel like crap. They’re trying something different this week. I hope it works.
My thoughts are with you and your brother.
Thanks, John. Glad you and your family made it through the storm.
Thank you for your concern
the world is better for him being here. hugs to all of you.
I agree, Beth. Light dims a little when we lose someone we love.
The prayers won’t stop, Andra! It’s a long road ahead and neither he or your family should go at it alone. May you all find the strength as you take on this challenge one day at a time. Oftentimes, that’s the only way to move forward, one day at a time. Much love, Maria. xo
I hope he can grasp one day at a time. It isn’t an easy concept for someone in his position. The weight of all the days is crushing.
I’m sure the days are painfully long. My brother struggles as well and it’s so difficult to watch their suffering. xo
Consider prayer space reserved, Andra. Most definitely.
Thank you, Mary. See you in a couple of months!!
Thoughts and prayer space reserved! For all of you.
We appreciate it very much!!
All the good stuff I can send.
You and Laura have already given me so much good stuff. I owe you for life. Thank you.
My thoughts are with you and your family, Andra. May your brother find the path to healing.
Thank you, Laurence. xo
I think that one of the hardest things must be that a person can look strong and capable but be crumbling inside. I’m glad to see the smiling photos and see that there has been some family time that appears to be nourishing, but Neil will continue to occupy “prime space” in my prayers–his reservation is secure! I know that this is long-haul stuff of life! What I don’t know is how he hears that people he has never met really care about him, but it is true! Each one of us has someone in our lives, friends or family, who struggle with thoughts that beat them down. This creates a kind of community where we do care very much and wish it were only that simple–to hear the words of encouragement and for that to be enough. But “one day at a time” works for all sorts of struggles, and please convey to Neil, anyway you can, that he has great value not for what he does or doesn’t do, but because he is. I firmly believe that! oxo
Depression is a very self-centric place. I don’t mean that as a put down or a criticism. It’s a mental illness. But he doesn’t read my writing or visit this site. He spends much of his time in a cycle of negative thinking, and he doesn’t know how to break that cycle. I relay these messages, and I know they mean something to him. Thank you so much for keeping a space reserved for him. xo
Your brother will be in my prayers again. I really do wish the very best for him.
Thank you so very, very much.
Andra, you and your family, especially your brother, have been on my mind. I will continue to pray (for I am a praying sort) as well as send good thought (we all need good thoughts, but, most especially when our own thoughts are elsewhere) continue your way. Every little step forward is good, and so I hope this is how his journey continues to go.
I do, too, Penny. I appreciate your prayers and your friendship more than I can say.
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