Boredom. I’ve never excelled at boredom.
Before I had constant connectivity, I filled my idle hours with stories and worries, friends and worries, worries and worries. I’ve always been a worrier, a trait inherited from centuries of worriers.
But boredom is necessary to create.
I only hear voices when my mind is still, rested, clear. Inspiration lies in idleness. Residencies remind me of the necessity of boredom.
Now that I’m home, I struggle with idleness. Our world hurls multiple daggers and darts of distraction per second. As an author, I’m ‘supposed’ to do all sorts of things to promote myself and my work. My to-do list is an endless slog of tasks, many of which entail asking a question and hearing NO.
How I’m coping with the world now that I’m unwillingly back in it:
- Yoga every day. I still practice every morning, an unbroken streak of over two months. Once I start traveling for appearances, I’ll have to vary my schedule, but I still intend to practice daily. When I started, I resented the time on my mat, but now I wake up with a craving. It’s a rectangle where my only focus is me.
- Boundaries on social media. I spend time on social media because I feel like I must; yet, I resent it so so so so much. During my residency, I unfriended numerous people who posted hate, intolerance, or other topics that made me feel upset and icky. I’m tired of opening Facebook and reeling from the firehose of projectile vomit. I want people in all areas of life who uplift me and provide an image I’d like to emulate. INCLUDING ONLINE.
- My residency omelet. I’m still making my daily omelet most mornings. The ritual resets my mind after yoga and fuels me for the day. Because of it, I’ve eliminated one meal per day. Thanks to drugs, I still weigh more than I ever have, but I’m stronger. I feel better. I have muscles. So who cares what the scale says?
- Afternoon tea. I don’t know how much tea I drank on residency, but I’m still brewing an afternoon cuppa stateside. A steaming mug and a single piece of buttery shortbread keep me firing until dinnertime.
- Origami. Why does folding and mashing and cutting paper give me so much freaking therapy? I don’t know, but if I make many more origami flowers, MTM may start twitching!
- Managing stressors. I have more on my plate than most people. I’m not typing that for sympathy or a burden contest. Unfortunately, it’s my life. I’m erasing stressors wherever I can, whether it be people who upset me or situations I can’t change.
- Bird watching. MTM gave me a bird feeder for my birthday, because I wanted to hear all about the birds who visit while I’m never here. Ha. But since I’ve been home, I’ve been able to spend hours at the window, watching the finches and cardinals and sparrows feed. And boy, are they little pigs!
I don’t know how I’ll cope on the road.
But for now, I’m in a zen place, and I intend to stay there.
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13 Comments
Watching birds is a great way to disconnect from nonsense and connect with the Real World.
Especially when a morning dove tries to eat out of a slot for ten minutes without realizing it is too big!!
Yeah. It’s a lesson in persistence not paying off. I’ve been feeder watching grosbeaks, finches, wrens, chickadees, nuthatches, sparrows, doves, jays, and my faves, the hummers. Nearby, I can watch osprey, eagles, herons, and all manner of seabirds. It’s become a way of life. I am slowly disconnecting from social media (the online kind, not the natural kind). That may hurt book sales, but that’s the way it goes. I much prefer the dogs-peeing-on-bushes kind of social media.
Haha. And hear-hear!
it sounds like you have some good coping strategies and routines in place. it’s the same way with kids. parents who over schedule them, find that it is hard for their kids to relax and come up with things to do on their own. those left to their own devices, to have the time to get bored, become hugely and independently creative in their ideas and play.
We’re all big kids, I think. Overscheduled to death and guilt-ridden if we take time to be bored. With so much on my upcoming calendar, I’m not beating myself up about a few days of boredom at home, and I’m not spending every second at the computer, worrying about what to do next for my upcoming book. I’m doing the best I can, giving as much as I have, and that’s all I can do. 🙂
And that’s perfect
Welcome home! The cover is fabulous. I look forward to reading the book.
Can’t wait!
I had a friend who used to tell me she was busier than I (or anyone else) was, and I countered with the dozens if not hundreds of things in a day, week, month that I COULD attend to, some which harped quite loudly at me, but that I wanted to maintain sanity so I didn’t address everything and that was alright with me. I think you’ve provided “space” for the first time in a long, long time, and that’s excellent. You’re doing what I have had to really learn to do, “breathe lighter” in the middle of ordinary days. Jay and I spend regular time watching the birds, and have expanded our bird sanctuary since you last visited! I love seeing your little feathered friends. You can learn a lot about yourself just sitting and observing, and I think origami, as well, is a meditative and mindful act. You’re on a healthy path, and I think now that you’ve tasted how good that feels, you’ll be able to adapt the same mindfulness techniques while on the road! Good report, my dear Andra! 🙂
So much more to tell you. We must schedule a FaceTime soon.
Also, busy contests are worthless, aren’t they? Life in America is too busy, too loud, too much. Everyone is a victim. Finding space to breathe lighter is key.
Origami for you, quilting for me. I find great satisfaction and a peaceful, easy feeling from taking perfectly good pieces of fabric, cutting them up into pieces then sewing them back together again. A little more time consuming, perhaps, than origami, but I suspect the feeling is the same.
Quilting is a lovely art. I enjoy using the fruits, but I’m a crummy seamstress. I admire your talent.
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