Day ThirtyFour: Dealing with Grief

Daily Word Count: 2,298
Cumulative Words Written: 59,414
Total Words Discarded: 14,500
Total Chapters Drafted: 24
Time Spent Writing Today: 3 hours

Everywhere I look, I’m dealing with grief.

At yoga this morning: Listen inward and breathe to release grief.

During my studio session with Carlos: My current WIP is a way for me to release grief over things I’ve carried for too long.

On phone calls back to the States: How do I prepare people for grief?

Even on my walk with Jen. She told me the chapel ruins scattered over fields around Messejana have a grief connection. Rich landowners built them before they died as atonement for sin. Now, storks use them as a portal to give new life.

I grieve things I’ve lost, things I’ll never have again. I grieve situations I can’t change, no matter how I approach them, how many times I try. And I grieve how much time I’ve wasted in my blip on the Universe’s timeline.

Grief isn’t linear, much like life.

For five weeks, I’ve been breathing out soul gunk, releasing it into the cosmos, pouring it onto pages, setting it free. Every morning I awake, dealing with grief. I place my head on the pillow, dealing with grief. It’s all part of being human, hopefully a better human.

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
Some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
Who violently sweep your house
Empty of its furniture,
Still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
For some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
Meet them at the door laughing,
And invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
Because each has been sent,
As a guide from beyond.

The Guest House – – Rumi

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