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The Wonderful World of Dick

Ripped Guy at Dick’s:  Welcome to Dick’s Sporting Goods! Can I help you find something specific?

Me:  Um……ah…….mumblemumblemumble.

RGAD:  I’m sorry? What was that?

Me: MUMBLEMUMBLE.

RGAD:  (Nervous laugh) Sorry. Still didn’t get that.

Me:  I’M LOOKING FOR A JOCK STRAP!

(Every eye in the store zeroes in on me.)

Me:  I mean. I’M not looking for one. I don’t need it. Um. (Cackling, crazy laughter.) It’s for my husband. HUSBAND. HE needs it.

RGAD:  Core Supporters are this way, Ma’am.

Me:  (More crazy lady laughter.) Oh? THAT’S what they’re called?

RGAD:  Yes Ma’am. Here we are.

Me:  (Staggering.) But…….but……..Good God, there are THIS MANY different ones?

RGAD:  Well, yes. Some guys like firmer support. Some go for breathability. You know.

Me:  No. I DON’T know. I told you it isn’t for me.

RGAD:  Did your, um, HUSBAND, tell you what he likes?

Me:  That’s none of your business.

RGAD:  Okay. Okay. I’m just going to leave you to it. If you need any help, I’ll be on my lunch break. (Disappears.)

Me: Who – WHO – would buy a hot pink cup with glitter? WHO? And, all I see is cups. Thin cups. Fat cups. Long cups. Deep cups. All CUPS. NO STRAPS………….A PEE-WEE MODEL???? Seriously? They have one called the Pee-Wee? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

RGAD:  (Materializes next to me.) Ma’am, um, you are being a little disruptive. Um. Here’s a strap in size large. Will that work for your husband?

Me:  AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

RGAD:  Great! Let me walk you to the register and get you out of here.

Me:  (Drying my eyes.) You can bet I’ll never call MTM again and ask him to pick up a box of TAMPONS on his way home.

You’re a Firework

Dear Cayleigh:

You leave today. I told myself I wouldn’t cry.

I lied to myself. I couldn’t stop the flow. Since you came along almost 10 years ago, I could always pop in the car and see you whenever I wanted. You lived just across the river. It wasn’t far. Now, I wish I’d made a double dose of that drive. A triple dose. I never should’ve taken the closeness of giggling with you for granted.

Especially now that I don’t have its warming beacon in my world.

You’re somewhere in Georgia now. Maybe Alabama. On your way to Baton Rouge. Lots of cool experiences await you. Don’t hold yourself askance. When you’re scared to death, fight that fear. Experience all the nuanced richness of life. Embrace its flavors and textures, its colors and its hues. Do those things, even when facing them or leaving them brings you to tears.

Part of living is leaving every single thing we care about behind someday. It’s letting things go when it rends our souls. It’s forging something new in the daunting disarray of what’s left. It’s knowing that people love you, even if they can’t see you every day.

Until October, when I see you again. Be a firework in your world, Cayleigh.

I love you.

Andra

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