You got to treat people like they matter. Like they’re the only thing in your world. ~ Roy Watkins
My first husband will always be special. We were married for a month in sixth grade. I was Claudia to his Pilate in a Christian school Easter play, and I DID NOT want to play his wife. Chuck was gangly and nerdy, but what eleven-year-old boy isn’t?
I didn’t want to be his wife, because he was so much more gifted than I was. He occupied the space and commandeered the audience, leaving my woeful lack of skill apparent to everyone. For the rest of my life, he will be one of the most talented, creative people I will ever know.
He died this year.
Those words catch on my tongue. I still can’t get them out. He left a wife and a son and so many people who miss him, because he treated people like they mattered. In high school, he put together a series of hilarious skits set to music, and he knew which classmate would be perfect for each role. At work, he organized functions and events to bring people together and build community. At home, he was a model husband and father, AND he created gourmet food he couldn’t eat for almost five years. Less than a year before he succumbed to pancreatic cancer, he attended my book event at his local library. He was gritty and tough and destroyed and brittle and amazing.
When he knew he was dying, he got out his computer and put together a series of photographs, scenes that mattered to him from his too-short life. In most of his pictures, he was with others, sharing their victories and cheering them on. Chuck treated others like they were the only things in his world.
I hope my good deeds carry his essence. I hope humanity remembers him long after others are forgotten. I hope I see him again someday.
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18 Comments
Wow amazing. When that day comes, I hope I am able to handle my death with as much dignity. Says a lot about the way he lived his life.
I cried again while reading this post today.
Our time is short. By definition. What matters are the tracks we leave in the hearts of our friends and loved ones.
One of the only ways to live forever.
So sorry to hear about that. But what a legacy! And what a great point, Andra, about treating people like they matter. So important.
He always did. I hope people remember him for a long time.
It appears that Chuck was unafraid of his capacity for love, and demonstrated that people could not only matter but make a difference. A succinct and powerful tribute.
You nailed it, Keigh.
It would be a far better place if more people were like that, Andra. Sorry for your loss.
It would. We can only shine the light where our lights reach.
I believe I remember when you wrote of this man once before. Apparently, he touched many lives in his short time, and left a powerful legacy. I’m sorry for the loss to you and to his family.
I think I wrote about our play together, but he was a big part of my childhood.
Sorry for your loss Andra. It appears he was a loss to others as well. It is good to remember Roy’s words.
I’m sorry for your loss Andra. It appears Chuck lived Roy’s words exceptionally well.
He did. Thanks, John.
🙂
Sorry, Andra. I’m sure he was proud to have you for his wife, if only for a month. And, you know what? I think his skills rubbed off on you, because look at what you have done with yourself. I’m sure he is proud of you right now.
So often the friends who leave us too soon also leave a void we hope we might partially fill in order to honor their memory. I think you always treat people like they matter, Andra. I lost a friend a week ago and at her memorial service it was clear to me that we were all wondering if we exemplified some of the more compassionate qualities she was known for. All people DO matter, but some are still stand-outs. By all you’ve related here, Chuck was indeed someone special.
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