Life giveth; life taketh away. For the most part, life has been good to me. I have no cause to complain.
I have regret.
Navigating the waters of friendship has never been easy for me. Suffice it to say that I’m not the perfect friend. I try. I think I give a lot. At this point in my life, I wouldn’t call myself needy, though I’ve had my moments.
My biggest flaw, I suppose, is the inability to stop caring when it’s clear the other party doesn’t care as much as I do. Or, to adjust my level of care accordingly. I’m getting better. Growing. Evolving as an adult in that respect.
My life is littered with relationships where that wasn’t the case, where I kept on trying, investing, caring, long after the Sell By date. With a mature eye, I can still say those connections gave me something.
When my emotions look at some entanglements, all they see is the taking. The need. The ‘me-me-me-me-me-me-me’ of every communication. The abrupt end. The manipulative shattering of a thing I valued.
I look at my gold leaf, shimmering on my big tree. Every year, I hang it somewhere prominent. It’s a great reminder to be more careful of the investments I make.
To avoid the people who do nothing but take.
To read more about ex-friendships:
This post is part of the series Roll Out the Holly, about the stories Christmas ornaments can conjure. Click here to read the series from the beginning.