Maybe this will be a series of fiction. Maybe it won’t. But, this story begins with the fictional post, Expecting the Unexpected. Click here to begin at the beginning. And, thank you. Of all the hundreds of thousands of existing options for entertaining blog reading, I am honored you stopped here and chose me.
I don’t know how long I’ve been locked in the bathroom. When I caught him doing…..THAT with………HIM, I tried to pretend. Nothing. I saw a void on the other side of that swinging dining room door. The planets didn’t shift in a universe where I no longer fit. I gripped my snakeskin bag until I broke the strap. My secret bank book was sewn into a compartment in the lining. I had to hide it someplace obscure.
Before my darting eyes could alight on a suitable temporary spot, he came barreling through the door as the front door slammed. Eyes wild. A sheen of sweat and – oh, man juice – all over his erect, naked form. He smelled salty in his masculine arousal. It was the first time I knew it existed.
You can’t leave me he said. No, he ordered. He ORDERED me to stay. You can have all the money, all the things you want, but you can’t leave me. Authoritarian tones were a new tune coming from him.
What kind of pathetic little girl do you really think I am? I didn’t realize I’d spoken it aloud until he hit me, a rushing blow to my jawline that caused twinkly-eyed pinpoints of light to throb in my sight lines. I tasted blood.
He grabbed my wrists before I could flee, squeezed them until my hands started to turn blue. You listen to me. Marrying you was my cover, my respectability. I thought you understood. I give you an unlimited bank account and loads of stuff; you make people stop whispering behind their hands about my sexual proclivities. Well, look at you, you stupid redneck hick. Look at this place, all the stuff you have. Even your secret bank account you’re padding with my money. Yeah, I know EVERYTHING. I control it. ALL OF IT. Just like I control YOU.
I don’t know what came over me – I swear I don’t – but somehow, I knew his one weak spot. I drove my knee into his still-bulbous crotch as hard as I could and left him there, writhing on the pristine Persian rug.
Don’t you call that drunk you call Daddy! he screeched as my fingers found the numbers on the dial. He’s too much of a bum to ever save you!
Ah, he was probably right.
When my twelve-year-old little brother answered the phone, I clinched my eyes together tight enough to make pins of light, and I begged him to understand. He had to save me, to make our perpetually intoxicated father pull himself together and drive over here, to send a child into this hell of a life and escort me out.
Sounds of stirring in the other room meant I was running out of time. With one final Please! I threw the receiver on the floor and locked myself in the bathroom. To block out his raging, I’ve been running his money for hours: flushing the toilet repeatedly and leaving all the faucets to stream down the drain.
Will I fit down the drain with my bank book if my brother fails me?………Never mind.
Dirt separates from dirt in what sounds like a cleaving of the soul outside my window. Headlights stream into the bathroom, making prisms of light bounce through the running water. A thud precedes a crashing wave of silence.
Is the demon I left better than the devil I married? If I can distract them both at just the right moment, would it be murder if I caused them to kill each other and set me free?
Bloggers You’ll Love:
The ladies at The Good Luck Duck have invaded the Lone Star State. Who will win this showdown?
Jessie at Jester Queen has been published! Go check out her book Divorce: A Love Story.
Please, stop by The Quotidian Hudson and tell Robert what kind of pigeon he shot.
Help Debra get her shopping done and her decorations up at Breathe Lighter.
45 Comments
Ah yes, a shootout at the Not-OK Corral, the suspense builds. Will the little brother, played by a young Annie Oakley, rescue the strange maiden?
Will the teetering Father and Wild Husband take each other out?? Will the Shadow Ninja engage the mad skilz of the Cyber Ninja and rescue all and turn it all back into Happy Valley, Tennessee?
Oh my, the suspense is killing me, thank goodness it’s Finally Friday!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=SYcrpKC–2k
Yes, and these people seem determined to keep going. I’m going to have to exercise some control over this whole sorry situation.
And, really? You couldn’t find a video that spelled ‘believe’ correctly?
I don’t edit my videos…artistic license, ya know
Ha.
Very Dickensian…you have whipped all your characters into a fine frenzy of irrationality and then leave your readers to await the next installment.
Thanks for the shout out!
They whip themselves. I just write it. At this stage of a fictional story, they totally do what they want.
I wish I knew what kind of pigeon it is. I’m just amazed that you got such good photographs. Birds never stay still for me.
Well, well, well–the tension escalates! Wondering what will happen next!
Should we have alternate endings read at the Click the Cootchie event?
Though I for one, am not at all sure what will happen with four such strong characters loose in the same virtual house…so I’m not sure what they would so.
…do, not sure of what they would do.
I already know how this ends………..but, I’m not telling.
And somehow, I don’t think it is a “happy ending” – at least not for the husband.
Sorry, I am up too early. 😉
If he gets rid of her, that might be happy for him in the end. No?
I like things wrapped in a bow – this is how I’d like this story to end…The drunken father is another unknown lover of her husband, they deserve each other, the fight breaks out and turns into a heated romp, knocking over one of her faithless husband’s precious antique gas lamps, and lighting the house on fire, her faithless husband and her drunken father are so wrapped up in their own heat they do not feel the flames licking at their souls. She and her brother, hand in hand, slowly walk off into the sunset with the house burning behind them purging her unfaithful husband and drunken father in fire….
Ha, unlike Andra there are BIG HOLES in this ending but what the heck I like a happy ending….
Gripping is what your story is Andra. Gripping and once again so very well written. Now I’ve got to go skip down the hall a few more times to get my “happy go lucky” back.
I like your ending, Lori. It has a nice twist, though I do think it is better than she deserves. I don’t think she’s very likable, either.
They are still grappling over what will happen between now and the end. I await their instructions.
I had to remind myselft to breathe while reading this! Can’t wait to find out what happens.
Me either, Debbie.
Characters that “totally do what they want” — YIKES!! I am too much the control freak to ever be a successful author of fiction.
However, I have absolutely no problem understanding and getting lost in the fictional visions of others. Somehow, I’m hoping the young brother will be the character here who can rise above it all and be worthy of salvage.
That’s how it works for me. The characters do stuff, and then I have to come back and edit it into something believable. Today’s post was an exercise to underscore for me what is wrong with my manuscript in a weird, off-the-wall way.
So are you going to do a public reading of this story? I am just waiting for the library society to all be sitting around daintily as your read this to them.
MTM is the only person who knows how much I love to read out loud. (Unless we count Cayleigh.) I make up voices for the different characters and really have a hard time sitting still when I read aloud. With this story, I don’t know how all that activity would go………..
You could have a career as a reader for Audible! I love listening to books. And can’t wait to hear you dramatize this one. And drunken dad should be pretty good too.
Nobody is going to listen to me read on Audible, Carnell. Let me recall for all time my most scathing theatrical review, where Robert Jones (may he rest in peace) described my voice as being etched in acid. ETCHED IN ACID.
That is actually a pretty cool description. I would have to even think whether that is good or bad. Nope, still not sure. I just know your voice seems to have a good affect on MTM. And Lou too!
ETCHED IN ACID isn’t bad???????? I cried. What was worse? All my cast mates seemed to agree and were glad somebody told me. It was a lonely night onstage for me that performance.
Goodness! Strong stuff, Andra. I hope this is going somewhere further.
Tune in tomorrow……
Oh it IS the same story!!!! I see now, I see!!! And thank you thank you for the plug!!!
You’re welcome, Jessie.
You know, she’s not very likeable – and yet, I find her straightforward opportunism appealing in a dark way. She strikes me as a survivor, probably exiting the first of what will be a string of messes, all of which she will escape just a bit better off than when she went in! Do I like her? No… But, I’m rooting for her all the same!
If she survives and comes out a better person, not just better off, that would be ideal. I somehow suspect she won’t want both outcomes. 🙂
Wow, so full of suspense! What a great read. You’re right you know, the characters do make their own moves, they decide what they’re going to do next. All we do is write it down and try to keep up! I love it when it’s like that!
This is my first experiment with letting the characters totally write the fiction on my blog, Neeks. I wasn’t sure I could pull it off here, and I’m still not. 🙂
Well from where I sit, this is a really good read! I’m no scholar, and have no idea about proper paragraphs or dangling participles, etc. – I only know what I find interesting enough to continue reading or not. This is well worth a continued read 🙂
Thank you. It was an emotional series to write.
Believeable characters . . . who are not terribly loveable. 😀
Just like life. 🙂
Blurry hell, woman, but you can write. I’m on the edge of my seat.
Me, too, Kate. Because now these people have to come together and tell me what to do next…… 😉
Etched in acid? I would have cried, too. Hard.
Yeah, Andra, this gal’s a piece of work and not the most likeable, but I can’t help but feel sympathetic towards her. I’m thinking when you grow up with a drunk, your judgment skills are probably pretty freaking skewed towards thinking that most anything is better than remaining in that environment. Look forward to the next installment.
What amazes me is that I have managed to capture that thing unlikable people do that somehow tricks people into liking them. I didn’t mean to do that, but all these comments clearly indicate that I have.
Oh! The secret’s in the sauce!
She’s unlikeable, but not hardened. She’s calculating, but callow. Interesting blend!
With all these reactions, I’m going to have to go write a dang book about her. ……..If I ever finish the current one. It’s being professionally edited now.
Oh my! This was quite an installment! I agree he’s not likeable, but I think there’s more available from her. Hmmmm. I think I know a few people who are enough like her to see that there’s another softer person in there somewhere. That’s my infusion of experience into someone else! She may be telling you a very different story! I guess I’ll have to wait to find out, Andra. Debra
In my imagination, this is a pivotal moment in her life, one that defines who she will become. I think we can all relate to growth experiences like these, and hark back to what we did with them.
What makes people likeable? I think we like different kinds of people as our real life friends than we do as fictional characters. She might not be someone you’d love to move in next door, but inside their heads, in the real places there, a character like this can be relatable because we know our own dark corners more than we ever know other people’s. Who knows how different I might have turned out with her parents and childhood instead of my own? Might I have made the same choices as her or different ones? We can’t really know this, but reading good fiction can help us to explore ourselves.
So I want to know what happens. I hope she learns and grows because I prefer a good redemption to a tragedy. I’m hooked anyway 🙂
Thanks for weighing in, Knotrune. Whenever a person undertakes fiction, the inspirations are usually things they hold pretty close to themselves. It is great to see that one isn’t alone in her struggles to understand the motives of others or the seminal events that cause people to become who they become. It’s the stuff of life, and that’s what makes the best fiction.
This comment means a lot to me, because it helps me see that I’m accomplishing what I set out to do. Thank you.
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