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Traveling In A Fried Out Kombi

Why can't weight loss work like crossing the international date line? If I fly west, eventually I'll lose a day. Poof. Gone. Instant and complete. And I guarantee you I'll weigh MORE when we land.

Why can’t weight loss work like crossing the international date line? If I fly west, eventually I’ll lose a day. Poof. Gone. Instant and complete.

And I guarantee you I’ll weigh MORE when we land. The endless feast in business class. Bottomless glasses of booze. They don’t care that we’re up there because we redeemed frequent flyer miles. We’ll still get first class wine.

When we land in Sydney and stagger up to the Rotary greeters at the airport, I’ll be twelve hours lighter with five pounds of fresh flab around the middle.

That’s a fried out kombi.

It’s gotta be.

UPDATE: We are still awaiting our date line crossing. Due to a freak accident at LAX, we are stranded. We may get on a plane in 5 hours or 2 days……..

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[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZLLKN_OeBc&w=560&h=315]

Enjoy the Noel Coward songbook in the video and the audio version of the exquisite Elaine Stritch singing “Why Do the Wrong People Travel, Travel, Travel?” by clicking the link below:

Elaine Stritch sings Why Do the Wrong People Travel Travel Travel?

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49 Comments

  1. Don’t I wish that weight loss was like instant karma!

  2. I love Elaine.. she’s a broad in every good sense of that word.

    Safe,happy travels Andra. (Sip a bit for us..)

    1. I fear I sipped a lot last night. How could one not in those circumstances?? 🙂

      1. 🙂

        completely acceptable and expected. (Guess that’s why I woke up with a headache?? *wink* )

        safe travels today/tonight!

  3. best of luck getting there, and the 5 pounds will be worth it )

  4. Delay? Oooooooo Noooooo! I hope it’s the shortest possible delay. Weight? I’m just about ready to start living on lettuce and other green leafy stuff and pretend the other “stuff” is a figment of my imagination! It’s either that, or surrender! 🙂

    Elaine Stritch is an absolute treasure. Thanks for that treat to accompany my breakfast!

    1. I’ve made no secret of how much I adore her. I’m going to sob when she’s finally gone.

  5. I started a workout class exactly 1 month ago today. I’ve gained 3 pounds.

    Be safe and have fun. I’m reading along.

    1. I’ll say what everyone says to me……..But muscle weighs more than fat………..(Yeah. I always want to slap them, too.)

  6. Hopefully, those biz class tix will get you some privileges while you wait-showers, or comfy chairs or more free snacks?

  7. Safe travels!!!
    I miss the days of in-flight food. Now on some airlines you have to pay for water!

    1. Years ago, I predicted that airlines would become like movie theaters, where one couldn’t bring any outside food or beverages on the plane, and everything would be priced at TILT. I’m glad I wasn’t entirely right………but I was mostly right……

  8. Hope that by the time that you read this comment you’re in the air and enjoying all the food and wine that you want. LAX is always a mess, isn’t it?

    1. Never made it into the air, Ally. But that will hopefully happen tomorrow night.

  9. You’re too hard on yourself, Andra. Enjoy first class while it lasts and make sure you get up for a few minutes every hour to avoid deleterious health effects. I know you’ll work off any extra caloric intake with your fabulous world-class walking skills.

    1. If we ever get to our final destination, I plan to walk a ton, Rob. 🙂

  10. Part of my job was a commute to Germany every two weeks. Flew first class on American. Loved everything except the weight fight. (resist the goodies? hell no!)

    1. Yeah, they do shove food at you the whole time, don’t they? Not complaining. In coach, we have to beg for anything. I used to take gifts for international flight crews. We really got treated well on one flight to Amsterdam: first class wine in coach; first class goody bags; every crew member (even the captain) came out and thanked us. The last time we did that, no one even said thank you. It’s definitely no fun to fly these days.

  11. Stuck at LAX should be a song title or a short story parody of Edgar Allan Poe. Here’s hoping you’re underway and have lost a day.

    1. By now you know we’re not, but I’m really excited about what we’re going to do in LA.

  12. Sort of like me – when I look at fattening food…my body expands…my clothes do not. *sigh* Sterling just got in last night from London – wonder if you guys passed each other. 😀 Good luck…

    1. Stranger things have happened……… 🙂 I saw that he and Olivia were over there.

  13. I hope you get to relax in a fancy Business/First class lounge while you wait! Great photo of you and MTM too. 🙂

    1. We got the lounge, though it was NOT fancy. I could really go on a rant here, and I shouldn’t do it, but our infrastructure in this country is appalling compared to other countries. I’ve been in nicer facilities in third world countries than some of ours. It makes me embarrassed that people come here from foreign countries, and their first impression is broken down buildings and often rude security personnel and filthy bathrooms……I sound awful, don’t I? But our airports are one of the most significant gateways into our country, and we make an abominable first impression.

      1. I agree on all counts! Our airports suck the fun out of travel and turn it into something to be “endured” not enjoyed. :(. I won’t start on the bathrooms…

      2. First sorry about the delay. Second, the truth never makes the teller sound awful. Joe Biden: “If I took you and blindfolded you and took you to LaGuardia Airport in New York, you’d think, ‘I must be in some third-world country,'”
        Our airports, our trains, our roads and bridges…

      3. Ahhh the good ole TSA personnel. The Walmart Greeters from hell. Sigh..

  14. Really sorry to hear about the delay, Andra. Hope things are going better for you by the time this comment posts.

    1. We’re in the lounge awaiting our Virgin Australia flight, Kate. I hope I’m not misleading anyone (especially myself) by typing that.

  15. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xJ5qxVKjAY

    So wait. A first class whine about first class wine! And yep, you’re so right about airports here. JFK and Laguardia are embarrassing and don’t get me started on Newark. Granted, JFk keeps getting updates, but they need to do the right thing and allow free wifi, make it CLEAR that it’s not required to take that stupidly expensive airport shuttle train if you don’t want to and a few other things that would leave a better taste in my mouth when I have to drop by any of those hubs…

    1. It makes me feel bad to sound like a snob. At least we’re getting to travel, and travel is important.

      1. Oh, you DON’T sound like a snob at all! That’s-a my sense of humor making it seem that way (because it’s not truuuuue!). Anyway, having a decent travel hub seems like an afterthought in this country as if they design and redesign these places to be the LEAST efficient and comfortable spots to get to and from. Blech.

        1. I can say our current lounge is an improvement. I’m getting ready to take a shower after a long day in prep for the flight.

  16. That sucks, Andra. I hope you’re delay wasn’t too long. I’m just finally getting caught up on reading and social media.

    1. Still in LA. On a flight to Sydney tonight. I’m afraid to type that, because we’re hours away from boarding…….I have enjoyed your pictures so much!!

      1. Oh brother! I’m so sorry for your delay. 🙁 I’m sure it’ll make Sydney/and surrounding so much sweeter when you finally arrive.

        Ed is presently using movie-maker to splice together my stupid video clips into something halfway decent. It’ll be a vlog soon’ish. 🙂

    2. I saw that you had movies. I’m really dying to see them. I want to do the rim-to-rim hike sometime, and this will give me a good flavor.

      1. I’ll do it with you! It will involve an overnight. Unless you’re up for hiking 12-18 hours non stop. 🙂

          1. Let’s make it happen then! These wounds will heel soon and I’ll be raring to go!

  17. By now, you have surely landed, Andra, and I’l sure will walk (or sweat, er, perspire) any extra calories off.
    Elaine Stritch is an international institution – and she still has “it”!

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