“I sold more books today than your daddy, Andra.” Mom stood next to the closed bathroom door.
“You did not, Linda! Don’t you go telling her that!” Dad’s voice shrieked from the bowels of the toilet.
“Now, Roy. You know I sold my person back at that pull off, and you didn’t sell yours. She didn’t buy a book, but mine did. DID.”
“Well, that may be, but I sold twenty books total yesterday. How many did YOU sell?”
“IS THIS A CONTEST NOW????? BETWEEN YOU TWO???” I sloshed my feet in a pan of salty water, trying in vain to zone out, to recover from another 15-mile day.
As I rolled over on the bed, Dad flung the bathroom door open. Pants around his ankles, he shouted, “Hey, Linda! Come and help me off the pot!”
My poor eyeballs will never be the same.
Never ever.
Click here to see the best photos from my last rest day on my Natchez Trace 444-mile walk: Andra Watkins Tumblr
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Here’s today’s Reader Question. More bathroom etiquette.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A67I_GoGSZU&w=560&h=315]
48 Comments
Hey, he sold 20 books yesterday alone. I’d say that’s earned him some goodwill (and turning a blind eye to his assisted toilet departures)! 🙂
What was more traumatizing is that he lumbered into the room with his pants around his ankles and tried to carry on a conversation with me.
Okay, I’ll give you that one.
Oh this made me laugh so hard! Traveling with your parents is hard enough when you are kids, but as adults I think it would be nearly impossible!
I’ve definitely had my moments of horror and chagrin………….
TOO FUNNY! I wrote a post recently entitled “Call me the Shit Whisperer.” Does that count for anything?
Hugs from Ecuador,
Kathy
I hope I don’t ever have to whisper either of my parents’ shit…….. 🙂
This is soo funny. I laughed and laughed. for once lol really meant laugh out loud for me.
You are indeed a brave women.
I’d call myself an idiot right now. Not brave. Ha.
Remember, I told you it’s fodder — someday an autobiography; The Life, The Times, The Traumas Of . . .
Secretly, you wouldn’t know how to act if things were any other way. 🙂
At least, I don’t lack for entertainment on this trip.
That is hysterical! Hopefully it has brought you all closer as a family!?
In general, it has. Today, Dad is on my very last nerve. I’m sure it’s my hormones and not him at all…………
Glad you are in the last days of your walk!
Ohmigosh…where’s the brain bleach? 😀
If you find it, Mary, let me know.
Your parents are great, Andra! I love that they’re competing against each other to sell your book. And the fact that he sold 20 in one day is awesome!
We’ve just about run out of them until MTM comes with a resupply on Wednesday.
it all just adds to the festive nature of your adventure )
Festive. I’ll try to reframe that image in a festive light.
It isn’t working.
But I tried.
With parents like yours it’s no wonder you’re so unflappable! Having there support along the way is so wonderful and I’m glad they’re both being successful in selling your book.
I couldn’t have done this without them, Lisa. That’s for sure.
I feel your pain, Andra, but I still had to laugh 🙂 Poor you!! Not much longer now!
I can almost laugh about it now.
Parents can be quite difficult to handle at times.
You got that right, Nate.
Oh wow, I live in fear of the day I hear those words from my dad… Now it’s his robe that makes me flinch as it flaps open flashing things I do not need to see. Ever.
Lisa, after Dad did that, he stripped down to his underwear and lounged around all evening. I BEGGED HIM to put more clothes on. Multiple times. Nope. Nope. Nope.
If they are going to have a contest, that is a good one for them to have. Sell more, more, more!!
I think they’re having a “How Many Crazy Things Can We Do To Our Daughter Contest.”
I had never before considered your Mom and Dad as taylor Swift and Harry Styles at a hip downtown Indie club…interesting.
I won’t say I am never, ever doing this again, Robert, because I fear jinxing my parents. At the same time, I fear I won’t be able to do this again. However horrifying it’s been at times, I’m glad I did it with them.
That photo makes Roy look like Uncle Fester. Hmmm. Methinks he’d better be nicer to your mother or else:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVFwV2ojY9I
I’m surprised you don’t have them in a separate room so you can brine your tenderized paws in peace, but I guess it keeps them out of trouble (and the trouble they do get into localized)…
At this place, we’re in separate rooms. In some parts of the Trace, the accommodations are pretty slim pickings.
Hey! HOW did you know today’s password was “Slim Pickens”? Well, you WIN – your prize: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5qqfsQGYus
I hope that is not a selfie with your dad on the pot?
No, Patrick. He’s sitting on a sofa that is too low for him to get out of without assistance, and he does nothing but complain about it while he sits there.
What a fantastic journey you’re making, Andra. And with your parents, too. Brave and fun for you guys and something you will remember for ever and ever and ever…
Sounds like something I would do to my daughter. Oh wait, I DO do that! 🙂
Funny, Andra – but, they are right there with you on your amazing journey, and selling books!
“Nobody has done anything that has embarrassed me”. You forgot to say, except for ROY! But then again, that goes without saying. 🙂
That’s a serious sales force….:)
Brilliant! My brother bought a copy for the flight to Houston – he loved it and has given it to a friend in that great sweaty city – so if you see a spike in sales there…….Also my friend in Stoke On Trent has bought a copy.
Your parents sound fantastic. Much better than him polishing the car and her knitting head rests for the couch. I can’t get that toilet image out of my head now.
All along I’ve thought you desperately needed the best pedicure money could buy, but now I’m thinking you should take up a collection for some therapy. Maybe a little therapeutic hypnosis will erase the images of Roy and the bathroom and yet keep the memories you’re creating. 🙂 You’re a brave and resilient woman, my friend. LOL!
Oh, too funny (and what a great sales team – I love their contest!)
Parents: You gotta love em!
I used to make books like the one in your picture. Now I feel a need to get the craft room put together so I can start a new project. 🙂
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