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Andra Watkins

Must Be Some Serious Semen

A long walk is a struggle with the boredom that comes from listening to the noise of my own brain. Yesterday, I did my first Natchez Trace length daily walk. Almost fifteen miles - after an hour plus power yoga session. (I swear, if my forty-something body doesn't shed some blubber, my metabolism must have stopped.) Anyway. When I took a potty break, I whipped out my iPhone and scrolled through Google Plus. (Because, I'm telling you, the funniest stuff is always on Google Plus.) I had no problem trekking eight more miles after seeing this:

A long walk is a struggle with the boredom that comes from listening to the noise of my own brain. Yesterday, I did my first Natchez Trace length daily walk. Almost fifteen miles – after an hour-plus power yoga session. (I swear, if my forty-something body doesn’t shed some blubber, my metabolism must have stopped.)

Anyway.

When I took a potty break, I whipped out my iPhone and scrolled through Google Plus. (Because, I’m telling you, the funniest stuff is always on Google Plus.)

I had no problem trekking eight more miles after seeing this:

masturbation notice umassI laughed my way back home.

A couple of pictures from the loveliness that was Charleston, South Carolina yesterday.

ravenel bridge

king street charleston

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen online lately? Please share links in your comments. I need more walk entertainment.

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82 Comments

  1. What are they feeding those boys!

    And kind of surprised there isn’t a corresponding warning to the co-eds about this substance they might come in contact with.

  3. I wish I had so ething to share but it all went down the drain already…

  5. Power yoga AND 15 miles? That’s awesome! If I find something funnier than semen down the drain, I’ll come back and post a link.

    1. That’s crazy is what it is, but I walked to yoga today and made myself do it.

  8. Oh, my! THIS from my alma mater – NO LESS!!! Mr. Brickhouse and I both attended UMASS Amherst and I can guarantee you, we never saw such sign. Mind you, that was 20 years ago and maybe the pipes were better at handling semen, then. OR, perhaps semen has changed over the years – kind of like Semen on Steroids! 🙂

      1. My son informed me that these are being posted all over the place – at his college too. 🙂 It’s spreading like crabs!

  9. Oh man! Must be all those growth hormones in food that’s doin’ it. 😉

    Wow. You are doing awesome on your walking!!! Go, Andra!
    Wish I could find the link to the pictures my niece sends me. I laughed at a picture of a piece of steak which had the caption: “Meat is murder. Tasty, tasty murder.”

  10. Wow. Hair ain’t got nothin’ on that spooge.

    And, 15 miles? Zounds, girl.

    1. 15 miles, 6 days a week starting March 1. Training now, and wondering what I’ve gotten myself into.

  11. So funny! I’ll laugh all the way through my workout now. 🙂 Your photographs of Charleston are beautiful, it’s nice to see the bright blue sky again.

  13. Drains are not made to handle pee either so I wish people would stop peeing in the shower! Seriously! I am unable to shower after I workout because the stench is overwhelming and I gag, and gag, and gag. Ugh. Seriously people! No semen! No pee!

  16. Hahaha! I have a feeling that the roommates will probably come up with a sign of their own pretty soon.

    15 miles of walking and a yoga class?! That’s like 4+ hours of exercise, right? That is awesome and I am totally impressed!

    1. With breaks, it was more like 5. I don’t have to be the fastest walker to do this, though I am at a 14.5 minute mile right now.

      Hope you’re feeling stronger and stronger.

  17. Doing my civic duty and translating Andra’s post for family viewing: She meant SEAMAN:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfW6EbFXtCQ

    Yeah, I’m glad I don’t look at your posts on a mobile device while walking, as with my luck, I’d have been headed for a stairway. With assorted desserts:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3yOnr2cl3c

    Wait. If UMASS teaches science, someone will be smart enough to debunk this one. Er, once they finish up in the shower. They HAVE to teach science. Hell, if there’s a Pixies song about the school, they’d better:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQVCAK3j7NY

    1. Seaman was also the name of Meriwether Lewis’s dog. I’ve always thought that funny, given how much semen those boys sowed on their trek to the Pacific. Ha.

  18. 15 miles!? You go, girl.

    And that printout reminded me of the a old joke – What’s long, hard and full of semen? A submarine of course.

  19. Your walking is really inspiring. As for funny online, just search for Haribo sugar free gummy bears at Amazon. Then read the description, and then the comments. I’m not kidding – sooo funny.

    1. Come on out and walk with me any time. One of my routes is across the bridge. None of that today, though, with a tornado warning out for part of it. I stayed in the Hampton Park area.

  20. HAHAHAHA. Where else, if not the showers?! In the top bunk of a very wobbly bed as your roommate grows irate down below?

    1. I’m sure many a dude has done it in the top bunk. When you gotta, you gotta.

  21. You’re totally awesome …15 miles walking AFTER a yoga session with a power before it…AND of course for sharing that little snippet of information…

    I can’t get the visual of gooey drain pipes.. :/
    LOL

    2. I’m totally tired today. But this is all worth it. I’m enjoying the process.

    1. It was still clever, even though it wasn’t what you meant. 🙂

  26. I must say that this is probably the funniest thing I have seen on the Net in some time. I am proud of your determination to do whatever it takes to get ready for your walk. Way to go!!

    1. Be proud of me when I finish. Right now, all poor MTM gets to do is listen to me moan and groan. Um, I mean………

      1. When I say that I am proud I mean that I am proud of you for having a dream and pursuing it. Doing whatever it takes to be successful at the dream. Does that mean that you will be successful? That remains to be seen. Whether you are or not will not define who you are. What defines you is the effort and courage that you are putting forth to make it happen. 🙂

  27. that is so, so funny. imagine begin the person who had to type that up and post it. your weather looks absolutely beautiful )

  28. I just love the last line: please see your RA with any questions. How would you like to be the person that has to field questions about that?

    1. I wondered what idiot would go to their RA and complain about not being able to masturbate in the shower. I mean, really.

  29. When I was in school there was a wall of showers and no way to pleasure one’s self. Times have changed.

    1. I don’t know that times have changed, John. Not in the way you mean.

  30. Your photos are wonderful, Andra. Sorry, though, nothing funny to share today.

  31. That’s my school; not sure if I should be proud that only strong semen go there or not. Now the UMASS mascot makes sense. Go Minutemen !

  32. Is your dad working out also, Andra? 🙂 Good for you! You’re going to really be in good shape with all this preparation. I’m very envious. Now it’s true I don’t want to work that hard, but there you go! Hilarious notice, and I can’t imagine being the one to have to write it and post it in the dorms. There must have been plenty of snickering! For some on-line humor I sometimes spend a little time over at “Funny or Die.” There are some jewels over there! Beautiful shots of Charleston! Gorgeous sky!

    1. Dad isn’t walking with me. He’s just going with me. I told him he had to work and sell books while I walk. He wasn’t very keen on that, but I think he will come around when I force him to do it. Ha.

  33. Charleston is very appealing, and I haven’t been there. Will have to travel there sometime.

    Hmm, interesting posting. I’m kind of thinking it’s best not said. It was very tough for me to make it through your workout – well in spirit, anyway.

    1. Your rain found us today, Kate, but I’m thankful for yesterday. 🙂

      Very, very funny. Thanks for sharing.

  35. What, no messages about going blind or about using up the entire supply and ending up with none? Or sin and fire and brimstone and stuff?
    The obvious rejoinder is that, the showers being where they are, the drains SHOULD have been designed to handle it. Sue the architects/plumbers/suppliers!

  36. Seriously? “Please masturbate in your own room”. I’m embarrassed for that school. But, damn funny! Beautiful photos, Andra.

  37. GEt the hell out of Dodge! But seriously, UMAss should try vinegar. It’s good for everything. ;-). I am now off to see out this picture to post on my own FB page. Being from MA and all.

  38. Did you take those pics with your phone? Because those are some serious sky blues, kiddo. Great pics. Also, semen plus drain hair makes a yucky sort of drain-plugging mortar. However, the sheer audacity of putting that sign up may be rewarded with spiteful pud parties…

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