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On the Eve of Everything

Everything is a scary thing. After months of writing and designing, pitching and planning, tearing my life apart and piecing it back together, I await the reception of a massive piece of me. I'm scared.

I had this big introspective post planned. In fact, I left it below. But before I get to it, I have to vent. I’ve spent much of the past 72 hours tearing my hair. And crying. And drinking (when I wasn’t driving to Tennessee.)

Amazon made a mysterious, unexplained decision to cancel pre-orders for the Kindle version of Not Without My Father. If you pre-ordered it, PLEASE DISREGARD THEIR STUPID EMAIL TELLING YOU THE PUBLISHER CANCELLED THE BOOK. It’s really unhelpful of them to fail to give you an updated link to purchase the Kindle version, which is now live here:

http://www.amazon.com/Not-Without-My-Father-444-Mile-ebook/dp/B00S7761E2/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1421211103&sr=1-1&keywords=not+without+my+father+andra+watkins+kindle

You can buy your own Kindle version for $3.99. You can give it as a gift. You can copy and paste your Goodreads reviews. I appreciate any/all of those actions to numb the maddening frustration of recent days.

And, on top of everything, Dad has been sick. For a while, we weren’t sure he’d make it to the launch party at Parnassus. He rallied yesterday, but he’s still struggling with wicked bronchitis he can’t shake. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers. This is his big moment, and his autograph hand needs to work as well as his motor mouth.

*********

Everything is a scary thing. After months of writing and designing, pitching and planning, tearing my life apart and piecing it back together, I await the reception of a massive piece of me.

I’m scared.

Novels are easy. If people don’t like them, it isn’t personal.

Memoir has to be personal. It’s a soul-baring vomit of uncomfortable information. If a reader doesn’t like it, they don’t like me.

It’s an unmoored, vertiginous place to be.

When Not Without My Father launches tomorrow, I hope you will buy copies. Please recommend it to your friends. Ask loved ones to make memories, using this book as inspiration.

Buy. Read. Recommend. Make a Memory.

And come back tomorrow for the Not Without My Father Launch Day Par-tay!

Follow my launch tour in pictures. Andra Watkins Tumblr

 

 

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46 Comments

  1. Thinking of you this week. You are COURAGEOUS and VULNERABLE and I honor that in you. It is what makes you amazing and your book too. Tell Roy to take care and stay well or I’ll come drive him to some woe begotten corner of somewhere to look at another stinkin’ old building.

    1. Author

      Now I’m getting sick. Of course I am. Sigh.

      But I’ve had fun racing cars with Thomas this morning. He loves my boston terrier pajamas. 🙂

  2. And yet my paper copy (via Amazon) is currently enroute! I am so sorry for all the last minute vexation. Prayers for your Dad.

    You. Go. Girl!! (And don’t look back!) Hugs!

    1. Author

      I’m really amazed they aren’t telling you they can’t ship it because it’s coming from a publisher they don’t control. Ha. Every new process has hiccups, but I feel like my new processes have more hiccups than normal.

      Thanks for buying the book, Karen. I really hope you enjoy it.

  3. Will do everything I can to promote you, darling! And looking forward to reading all about the journey.

    1. Author

      I’ll have some quiet time this weekend to read your beta version, Dear. I’m looking forward to it.

  4. Yay! Glad it got straightened out. Just placed my gift order. Glad to finally be able to do it.

    Glad Roy is feeling better too. Please tell him hello for me.

    Have fun in Nashville, I know you will take the music city by storm.

    1. Author

      I hope to get to meet your sister. Did you invite her to something?

      I’m not sure how Dad is feeling today. I’m afraid to ask………………..but they’re riding over here with Cindy Duryea, so at least they won’t be screaming at each other in the car.

      1. I put the invite on Facebook and told her about it a while back. I am going to send her an email again to remind her. Just beware, she isn’t as charming and soft spoken as I am.

  5. This too shall pass…like a big old gallstone! YOU ROCK! Hold your head high lady – this book is amazing!!!

    1. Author

      It feels like a gallstone. Great analogy.

  6. Being scared shows your intelligence. But the fact remains that it is a very good memoir. You know that, the people who’ve read it know that, and the reading public will soon know that. You can’t please everyone. Duh. But this journey you’re on will be full of joy tempered with some heartache. It is the way of it. This time next year, you’ll probably be doing this again. And you’ll be scared again. But that’s not gonna stop you.

    1. Author

      I’ll most likely be doing it again in the fall. We’ll see. Promoting leaves little time for quality writing.

  7. Now I feel really guilty that I couldn’t have a cuppa with you yesterday while you were on the road! You’ll knock ’em dead in Nashville with your charm and beauty! xxoo

    1. Author

      As long as I can keep from sneezing on anyone……….I won’t be coming back through Asheville this trip, because I’ll return through MS and AL. But I’ll see you next month.

  8. What a start to your week! I’ll click over to Amazon now and order my copies as well as add my Goodreads review. Now that you’re in Tennessee I hope you can hug your family and have some fun. 🙂

    1. Author

      I’m still in my pj’s at 10:30, so that’s something. 🙂

  9. So, so sorry about the Amazon beast’s nonsense. Hope it gets sorted for you soon. As to the fear, I don’t know that novels are easy, but lord I cannot imagine laying myself bare in a memoir. You are a brave woman, and I admire the hell out of you. Embrace the fear, then tell it to go out into the world and make a memory for itself.

    And have a rockin’ launch party, friend!

    1. Author

      It’s all sorted now. Everything is live. But how frustrating.

  10. You’ve got a lot of people rooting for you Andra. Fingers crossed that your dad makes the launch party.

    1. Author

      He and Mom should be on their way later today.

  11. Oh dear Andra. I’m so sorry for all the stress that comes at possibly the worst time–right before you launch. I pre-ordered, and as far as I can see, I haven’t received an Amazon cancellation…but I’ll make sure. I’m praying for Roy. We all want him to enjoy this moment, too. I think maybe a good part of what makes you someone we love and care about is your vulnerability and openness, but I can understand how that doesn’t feel very safe. I hope every fear is quickly allayed and I will be celebrating with you from the west coast. oxo

    1. Author

      The most maddening thing is Amazon doesn’t tell us who pre-ordered. There’s no way to communicate with anyone to let them know that message is incorrect and the book is live, other than to put something here and hope people find it. Because we promoted that post on Facebook, people likely pre-ordered it who don’t visit this site. So, so frustrating.

      I’m glad you’ll have your copy for the big wedding trip, though.

  12. What’s life without a few curve-balls thrown?! Deep breaths and try to enjoy the madness. 😉

    1. Author

      My curves all seem to come at once, but I’ll try to enjoy them.

  13. Just ordered my Kindle copy. Take deep breaths. All will be well.

    1. Author

      Thank you! I look forward to hearing what you think.

  14. You are only human, mi amiga. This too shall pass and I have no doubt that your book will be a success. I wrote a group email to the ladies you met at my house with all the information on your events in Amherst and the links to your page and book ordering. They are very excited for you! 🙂

    Sending prayers and thoughts to you and your family so that Roy may feel better and rally for the big event. xo

    1. Author

      They should all get a special card from me sometime next week (as should you.) I hope everyone likes it. Thank you for sending out that message. I definitely hope to see them all when I’m there.

  15. Evil Amazon beasts. Sorry you have to deal with that.

    Sending Roy healing thoughts. I hope he feels better and the world can experience the wonder that is Roy.

    As for the fear, first of all you are one of the bravest women I know. But I think you need to let go of the idea that someone doesn’t like you if they don’t like the memoir (although I can’t see why they wouldn’t like either). I have read plenty of memoirs which I don’t like–the story is narcissistic or has no relevance to anyone else, they are poorly written, etc. That DOES NOT MEAN I wouldn’t like the author, or that I don’t honor their story. You aren’t going to face that issue, because your memoir is fabulous, but remind yourself that you are not just your words.

    Hope that makes sense

    <3 Lisa

    1. Author

      It’s unrealistic to think everyone will like me. I’m just freaking out in general. The stress of the past few months, I’m sure. We haven’t had an easy time, and it doesn’t look like that’s going to abate any time soon. 🙁

  16. Good luck for the launch! I hope your dad will be well in time. I quite think he will be. 🙂
    I am very much looking forward to your book. I’d seen the pre-order Kindle version on Amazon in the UK but when you said there would be print versions as of tomorrow I thought I would wait. I did go back to the site yesterday, though, to see if that was available for pre-order but I couldn’t find either version. I’ve just looked it up again and both versions are there, I’m glad to say. And I have pre-ordered a paperback version. I am so excited! Good luck!

    1. Author

      They got it all worked out. Now, if they can just get the freaking cover photo up, everything will be swell.

  17. Thank you for sharing your process, Andra! This artist business ain’t easy. I really appreciate when fellow artists can share their vulnerabilities. It’s helpful and bolstering. And good luck with this launch. And most of all — congratulations!! I’m looking forward to reading your memoir. Hope your Dad is doing ok. Healing vibes.

    1. Author

      Thanks, Jenn. I’ll message you and let you know when your Make a Memory post is scheduled.

  18. I’m sorry for your down and then your REALLY down. A parent’s illness sends shock waves through their kids, even if it’s a cold. Be strong when you can, break down and be a baby when you need to be. I will be on the bandwagon to buy a book soon — gotta support my fellow bloggers. Keeping you both in my faerie chants!

  19. I’m looking forward to tomorrow. 🙂 Getting the finishing touches on that post done.

  20. Geez, thanks a lot, Amazon. I know that must have felt like a punch in the face. 🙁

    I’m thinking of you and sending you the best of wishes and positive vibes, despite my hair being on fire (work stuff). I’m overwhelmed, ready to cry at every moment, so …I feel some of your pain.

    I’m headed to Atlanta on Monday, so I will order my copy by the weekend, for sure. Good luck at the launch! xoxo

  21. Andra, I am sending healing prayers for your dad and a big bag of confidence for you. Relax, your book is excellent. It will all be good!

  22. My blog post is loaded and ready to go at midnight. I ordered a few print copies yesterday from Amazon and they should arrive tomorrow.

    This is a great book and I was honored to get an advance copy.

    Enjoy the ride and I hope Roy feels better.

  23. Andra, I hope your Dad is on the mend soon. Congratulations on the book. It was a wonderful read. I will buy my copy in the morning.

  24. i was hoping you’d post an amazon update. i got the cancellation notice for my pre-order, but now that i have the link i’ll reorder. i’m so sorry it all is so muddled right now, but i have faith it will turn out in the end. too bad it has to be so stressful during such an exciting time. wishes for a speedy recovery for roy – beth

  25. As Winnie-the-Pooh would say, “OH BOTHER”! 🙁
    I am so sorry you are dealing with this now – and hoping that since I’m so late in commenting it is “all better”. I know it is not as easy as that, but, hang in there. It WILL work its way out. Sending thoughts and prayers for Roy to be better and for all these nasty wrinkles to iron themselves out.
    It is a brave thing to put oneself “out there” as you have with this book. I know you are scared, but, it and you will be okay. I promise. Here’s to the morrow. Penny

  26. Sorry for my absence from your blog, and from commenting. But I read today and just want you to know I am listening and watching and thinking of your dad and you. Hang in there.

  27. So sorry to hear about your dad and hope you’re hanging in there. Good luck with the book; will pick up a copy. Best wishes to your dad for a speedy recover. He’s in our prayers but in the meantime, sending you hugs!

  28. Oh man that sucks! Hope everything turned out okay.

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